What causes the death of a relationship? Is it personal differences? Or lifestyle choices? Or even abuse? These reasons could range from seemingly trivial to serious ones that are a sore point when it comes to a relationship with that person. There’s no denying the fact that it’s difficult to cope with being dumped, but it’s equally difficult, if not more so, when you are the one doing the dumping, and have to come up with a reason for doing so.
You have the option of choosing to leave without a word goodbye or divulging the reasons to breakup with someone, but is that how you want to end things with the person whom you once shared a cordial relationship? Plus, it’s rude to leave someone wondering, not to mention immature. Keep your dignity intact and show the same to your soon-to-be ex and give them the reason you’re choosing to end things with them. (However trivial your reason might seem to them, it’s not trivial for you, so keep your head high and do it with all the dignity you can muster.)
Reasons to breakup with someone
1. Cheating happened
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It doesn’t matter who cheated on whom and why, being unfaithful can spell the death knell to even the most perfect-seeming relationships. Even the mere thought of a third person’s presence in the relationship could be enough to instigate a breakup. If you cheated on your partner, you could have reached the point where you no longer see a future with them, or you want to explore one with the person you cheated with. Either way, the end is nigh. And if your partner was the one who cheated on you, then you may not have the forbearance to forgive them and let it go.
2. There’s abuse involved
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Abuse, of any kind – verbal, physical, sexual, emotional – is plain wrong. No one should have to endure it. And it hits you the worst when abuse is being brought about by someone who you thought you loved and trusted. If you’ve endured any of the above mentioned abuse at the hands of your partner, then you have every reason to end things with them and walk away. You deserve to be treated with dignity and love and respect. You do NOT deserve to suffer abuse at anyone’s hands.
3. There’s someone else
Although this doesn’t exactly qualify as infidelity, it could be that all-important first step towards a downhill trajectory towards cheating. Are you constantly thinking about someone else? Do you dream about a life with this other person? Do you harbor romantic interests for this person? Do you fantasize about being with this person? If you answered in the affirmative to the above questions, then you’re probably already made up your mind about pursuing things with this other person. It’s only the decent thing to end things with your current partner before you take things further.
4. Your partner doesn’t figure in your future dreams/plans
When you’re in a relationship, it’s natural for your partner to play a significant role in your future plans. You’re both building a life together, and that means playing stellar roles in each other’s lives and dreams. But if you, however, don’t see your partner in your life, say, a couple years, or even a few months down the line, then you need to do the right thing and break it off with them. This is your brain telling you that you don’t see a future with your current partner, and that you need to cut them lose and move on.
5. Yearning for the single life
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Sometimes, it’s okay to yearn for the single life, especially when you’ve hit a rough patch in your relationship. However, if you constantly think about your life minus your partner, and how much better it would be without them in your life, then it would only build resentment and contempt towards them. Know that this is you, not them, that has a problem with the situation. So work towards fixing it, and if that means breaking up with them, then so be it.
Suggested read: 8 foolproof ways of gaining more respect in your relationship
6. The fights seem never-ending
Although fights and arguments are a part of a healthy, stable, mature, adult relationship, if they take up a huge chunk of your interaction, then there’s something very wrong with it. You are at each other’s throats more often than not, over the most trivial of matters. You can’t seem to hold your temper when you’re around them. You snap at each other, while a mild tone could have done the trick. Constant fights and arguments is a way of showing your resentment and anger (if any) towards your partner. It’s better to break it off and move on, if fighting is all you do as a couple. It’s just not worth it.
7. Happiness is nowhere in sight
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Granted that relationships go through their own ebb and flow, but if you can’t seem to remember the last time you were happy with your partner, then it’s time for some serious contemplation. Know that there’s a huge difference between weathering a rough patch and living in it day in and day out. Take a good hard look at your relationship with this person. If you genuinely can’t be happy with them, and see it not changing in the future either, then it’s time to call it quits.
8. Escaping the dreaded single life
Did you get into a relationship just so you won’t have to be single? Are you regretting your hasty decision now? Then it’s not fair to you or your partner. The best thing would be to cut them loose and move on. A relationship is supposed to bring out the best in two individuals, to build something unique. But if you’re just in the relationship so you don’t have to come home to an empty apartment, then you know it won’t last long.
9. It’s an unbalanced relationship
Are you always the one who puts in all the effort to make the relationship work? Then it’s clearly an unbalanced relationship, where you’re the giver and your partner is the taker. However, a healthy relationship is a two-way street – there’s giving and taking from both partners. When people are heady with love, they think it’s okay to put in all the effort to make it work, but in the long run, this won’t last. If your partner is the same unreciprocating person they have always been, then that’s one of the valid reasons to breakup with someone.
10. Bringing each other down
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This is common in many toxic relationships, whether alcohol or other substances are abused, or a general lack of motivation and/or laziness towards anything in life. If you realize that your way of life before you met this person has been affected by the toxicity they have brought in, then it’s best you sever all ties and start afresh. You may love the person, but if they’re a toxic influence on you and your life, then it’s just not worth in the long run.
Suggested read: 20 sad signs you’re in a one-sided relationship
11. No reason to stay
Have you asked yourself why you’re in a relationship with your partner? Do they bring out the best in you? Do they support you and your dreams and aspirations? Do you love them deeply? Or are you just settling with them just because ‘it’s convenient’ or you’re ‘used to them,’ or ‘you’ve always been together’? If you can’t come up with a valid reason for staying with the person you’re currently with, then that’s reason enough to call it quits.
When your head is telling you one thing and your heart another, then it’s time to sit down, think things through, and come to a place where your head and your heart are in sync. And if you think this could be achieved by breaking it off with your partner, then so be it. No relationship is worth the hassle if you’re not happy in it, and you don’t know why you’re with them at all. Armed with these reasons to breakup with someone, you should be able to make the right choice.
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