Everyone and their uncle seems to have this one piece of advice for everything – love yourself. But what they fail to tell you is how to love yourself. However, it’s true what they say – you do need to love yourself before seeking it from someone else. And here we’ll see how exactly to go about doing it.
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Let’s explore some of the ways to love yourself here:
1. Be honest – always.
Even at the risk of sounding pompous or too direct, speak the truth. Don’t skirt around the issue, don’t let your resentful thoughts fester, don’t hold back when you want to speak your mind. Remember, you have no obligation to tell people what they want to hear. But that doesn’t, in no way, mean you have to be mean to them. When in doubt, just follow this simple rule: if you don’t have anything good to say in your quest to being honest, always, keep your mouth shut! Simple, eh?
2. Learn something new.
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Every day is a gift for you to savor and enjoy. And every day, you need to be a little wiser, a little smarter than you were yesterday. So learn something new – whether it’s reading a book or an article online, mastering a seemingly tiny task that you hadn’t given much thought to, just do it. Every single day.
3. Listen to good music.
What is good music? That music that appeals to you. It could be jazz, or pop, or heavy metal, or even death metal. Appreciate and revel in your taste in music.
4. Savor your meals.
You may just eat to live, or vice versa, it doesn’t matter. Savor every morsel of food that passes through your mouth. It could be a home-cooked meal or a burger you picked up at that nearby deli, enjoy it and experience the different tastes in there.
5. Put down your phone.
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We have become a generation of smartphone addicts with a permanent crick in our necks from staring at our cell phones and laptop screens all day long. Make a conscious choice of putting down your phone at the end of the work day, and look around. Make conversation with your partner, go visit your parents, catch up with that buddy from college, go for a stroll in the park, enjoy a sunset, play with your oft-neglected dog, or just be with your thoughts.
6. Make eye contact when interacting.
Making eye contact with the person you’re interacting. It’s hard to keep this connection going for a long time, but when you consciously do it, it will make your connection with that person that much stronger.
7. Try not to be judgmental.
No matter how many times you resolve to stop judging others, you’re bound to fail. It’s not your fault, it’s just human nature. And when you resort to this judgmental behavior again and again, stop and look inwards to figure out what caused you to behave that way. Were you unhappy, or insecure, or frustrated with yourself that made you lash out? Focus on addressing these issues in their infancy to get to the root of the problem rather than projecting your insecurities onto someone or something else.
8. Sleep well.
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When you know you need a good night’s sleep, go to bed early. Clear your head of all thoughts – every last one of them, and sleep. And when you know you deserve it, sleep in the next morning. Nothing says self-love like indulging in a much-needed sleep session.
9. Everybody is entitled to their opinions.
Your opinions on things might be vastly different from your best friend’s, but that in no way means that it’s wrong. Different people have different opinions, and they’re entitled to them the same as you are to yours. What you can do is make yourself see things from their perspective. Who knows, you might even learn something new. Or, you could agree to disagree. No sense arguing about something that can’t and won’t be changed, is there?
10. Indulge yourself.
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You may earn very little or too much, it doesn’t matter. You need to have some funds to indulge yourself and your fancies. It can be as simple as a bottle of wine every two weeks, or a box of handmade chocolates once a month, or even a pair of lingerie that fit you like a glove. Indulge in these that bring you joy and happiness and adds that sparkle to your eyes.
11. Save for a rainy day.
A secure future is ensured only when you save today. As important as it is to indulge your fancies, you need to save for a rainy day too. Make smart investments, save money when you can, and spend judiciously. When you’re not worried about the future, you can enjoy your present a whole lot more.
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12. Compliment people.
When you think your best friend or colleague has done something amazing, compliment them, in a genuine way. Tell them how awesome/intelligent/kickass they are. It adds to your own happiness when you make others happy.
13. Forgive people who have wronged you.
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Life is too short to hold grudges. Don’t let resentment fester; just forgive those who have wronged you. However, you don’t have to have people you’ve forgiven in your life. You can choose to let them go too; you don’t have to feel guilty for letting negative people go.
14. Be polite.
Politeness is the hallmark of a genuine person. It’s often mistaken that politeness = weakness. That’s totally wrong. In fact, politeness actually shows your strength in that it tells people that you are humble to everybody, regardless of their station in life. Being polite, saying thank you and please are what will set you apart from the oft-rude populace.
15. Be thankful.
Put down your phone, sit on the couch comfortably, and let your thoughts drift to all the things you have in your life. Your wonderful family, your fabulous friends, your exciting job, your beautiful home, your functioning body, your unique traits, your intelligence, your strengths – all of these are things you need to be thankful for.
16. Ditch negativity.
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Drop people with negative attitudes and pessimistic thoughts like a hot potato. Instead, surround yourself with people who will add value to your life; who will make it better than they found it; who will challenge you intellectually; who will make your heart grow bigger, instead of making it shrink to the size of a peanut.
17. Listen, not just hear.
When you’re having a conversation with someone, don’t just hear while thinking up things to say next. That’s not really a conversation, now, is it? This only makes you human and puts your human nature on display. However, keep in mind that you have to work at really listening to the conversation you’re having. The more you do it, the more natural it will become. That’s when you realize how much you’d been missing out on before.
18. Forgive yourself.
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You are human; so you’re fallible. And that means you make mistakes. In fact, everyone makes mistakes. So be open enough to forgive yourself for your mistakes. You did the best you could with the understanding and maturity you had. You’re now growing and changing, and those mistakes will always be learnings that you will carry with you always.
19. Ask questions.
Curiosity may have killed the cat, but without curiosity, your life would be one dull drudge! Ask questions when you want to know something. It’s the only way you grow up, instead of just aging.
20. Be kind and patient.
With yourself. This is one of the best ways to love yourself. You’re growing up, so treat yourself as you would treat someone you love with all your heart. You deserve your own kindness and patience. Never be too harsh with yourself.
21. Celebrate the wins.
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However minor or major your achievements might be, celebrate them. Praise yourself and pat yourself on the back for a job well done. However, be careful of the difference between patting yourself on the back and excessive pride. That’s a fine line you’re treading; so be very, very careful.
22. Accept yourself.
Warts and all, just the way you are. Easier said than done, but you have to try to do it – every single day. Given a chance, everybody has one or the other body part they’d like to change; everybody has that one character flaw that they’d like to overcome but can’t because it’s innate; everybody has that one weakness that they’d like to turn into their strength. It’s not just you, but everybody that has one or several things that they don’t like about themselves. Stop right there! You need to accept yourself exactly the way you are, change things about yourself that you want to change – for yourself, and not because you want to fit into a certain mold of someone else’s making.
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23. You deserve love.
From your family, from your friends, from your partner, and most importantly, from yourself.
If you follow these simple ways to love yourself, you would be in a much better state of mind than when you started reading this article. The fact that you chose to read this is in itself a triumph. So go forth and start loving yourself. There’s no better and satisfying love affair than the one you have with yourself.
Keep living; keep loving.
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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