Elegant and demure. Immaculate and charming. Sugar and spice and all things nice! Well, if I tell you that it is not ‘nice’ all the time, would you believe me? A fart between the sheets, knuckle cracking, belching, or even nose picking aren’t the special privileges of men alone! Yes, we may not be seen grabbing our assets in public (and God knows how careful we have to be of that!), but there are certainly some unladylike things that we are guilty of but absolutely love doing anyway! It’s true – sometimes we just need the freedom and bliss that these things offer us. If you must be wondering how I know all this, well, I have been a woman for as long as I know! 😉
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Let’s have a glance at the 25 unladylike things we women love doing, yet deny.
1. Going native
Image source: Pinterest
Women give preferential treatment not only when it comes to people but also while shaving our body parts. This advantage given to some parts over the others is only decided upon a simple criterion: if you want to be seen, you have to be shaved! (Thank God for winters, long sleeve shirts, and dresses which might make us look like a rag, but who cares!)
2. Wiggle, Wiggle, Wiggle, Wiggle. Yeah!
Handling the wedgie scene dead-on! If you have a butt crack, your thong is gonna get in, right? How do you deal with it? Pull it out, Dumbo! What’s the male-female fight on this?! (P.S. This is fine as long as someone else is not watching you!) Also, we love loosening our thongs a little, because hey, they are uncomfortable, okay!
3. On nights like this…
Women sometimes love those one night passes when they pretend like they are not made up but look like that naturally, and go to sleep with a ton of makeup caked on their face. It gets worse on the second day when they add a new layer on top of the previous day’s work of art!
4. I’m touched!
Don’t be too shocked if you find a woman absentmindedly playing with her boobs while watching a movie or maybe browsing through a book. Women believe in the philosophy of “love yourself,” quite literally!
5. Food for thought!
Julia Child put it very well when she said, “People who love to eat are always the best people!” We women treat food like an artist’s masterpiece (though we may pretend that we eat to live!), so we find it insulting if a bit of it falls on the floor and we have to throw it away only because of that! After we have carefully noticed that no one’s watching, we will pick it up and shove it in our mouths anyway!
6. Off the hook!
Only a woman knows that moment of great liberation when she can unhook the clasps of her imprisoning bra and fling it across the room at the end of the day. The walk of freedom after this act is the best part and she does it like a boss!
7. Make do & mend
A woman is innately blessed with an incredible talent for improvising when she is stunned by an untimely period! If Mother Nature can surprise us, we can shock her right back. She can make anything work as a sanitary pad if she doesn’t have a tampon or a napkin handy. And when I say anything, I mean anything she can find!
8. The road less traveled
We may advise you to brush your teeth before sleeping at night, but if you keep an eye on us, we don’t always do it ourselves. Hypocrites? Well, we just believe in helping out others and showing them a better path, even if we can’t travel that path ourselves. I would say it’s a service to others!
9. Burp certified
Yes, we burp – but only because we want to tell you how good the food was. Those are appreciative burps. We do it all the time at home with loud announcements before doing it. If you haven’t caught us doing it at your dinner, it’s just because the food wasn’t that good, sorry to disappoint!
10. The ‘foul’lore
The pleasure of calling each other offensive names like… I cannot say them here. It would be unladylike of me! 😉 But slang can be fun! For us, it is one of the ultimate stress busters! Doesn’t harm anyone, does it?
11. (Un)Cross the limits!
Catch us watching something on TV alone and you are sure to find us sitting with our legs apart. We love ‘manspreading’ at home because the legs spell out what the mind wants to do! It is just too pleasurable and comfortable to resist!
12. Let her rip
Yes, you read it right. Women have to do it just like men, but prefer not to talk about it. So don’t thrill-seek here!
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13. Angry birds!
Women can also be very animated when it comes to venting their anger. So next time when you catch a girl showing you the finger, don’t question her behavior. Instead, think about what you did wrong and try to fix it. That will save you more time!
Talking about stomach cramps is a woman’s favorite hobby; and she can sometimes be found cursing herself for possessing a uterus. A woman will never be denied the right to talk about her cramps, however unladylike it may seem. So, if you are wondering why a woman is mad when she is PMSing, it’s just because she is. Okay?!
Sometimes, we are lazy enough to just shower ourselves minus our hair. This saves us the time to dry and set it. We will spend thousands on a hair fragrance, but not wake up early and actually take the time to do the washing! You should understand if you see us exhibiting the bun for days at work and saying that it makes us feel more efficient. Well, now you know what that really means!
16. Gold diggers
Yes, girls do it, and so do their mothers! But try and keep it to the most private of circles because it’s really gross both for men and women. And yes, please pay attention while driving around. Your car is not as private as you think it is!
We may have a whole stock of bras, but we will still wear the same bra for days because, they rarely get dirty, right…? We always have a range of brands to choose from. Body odor, what’s that?!
18. Love ‘bites’
Who has the time (or more importantly, the energy!) to get a manicure every day?! Sometimes you gotta get by with some improvisations and bite those nails to shape them up. Also, according to psychological studies, biting nails shows that you are a perfectionist. Not that women need confirmation on that from psychologists!
19. Blow my speakers up!
When we start to party, we can’t stop. We are party animals who love to drink! Limits? What are those? Women and men are equally guilty of their share of drunken mistakes: crying, cursing, getting into brawls, drunk dialling an ex, slurring, and vomiting! Not a pretty scene, right? And definitely not ladylike!
20. Let me love me
Yes, women are sexual animals and find pleasure in mast*rbation. Since when did that become a man’s prerogative? But yeah, we also do it sometimes because we are simply super bored! Now that’s a secret.
21. A damsel’s decadence
Now this is something that all women (almost) do: we sometimes act like a dumb damsel in distress (in their own ways) to impress a guy. While this is unladylike in itself, they also complain about other women who do it! See, this is definitely a weird double standard!
22. I’m sexy and I know it!
Women deal with compliments in a variety of ways, sometimes even inappropriately! We may just say, “thank you” confidently, because hey, we know we are looking good! Conversely, we may also just ask you to, “shut up, you weirdo!” It just depends on which day you choose to compliment us!
23. Somewhere in between!
We have them, so we scratch them! What’s the inequality about! P.S: We also keep our hands there for warmth. We just like to hold our lady. Period!
24. Strange(r) attraction
Yes, we are guilty of doing this. What makes it worse is that even when we are with our dates, we throw a glance at a handsome hunk sitting on the next table and think about the most indecent of things. Ah, but we do it skilfully. Guys need to learn these tricks!
25. La Incognita senorita!
Reading someone’s personal messages secretly from their phone – we’ve all been tempted to do it, or have even done it before. Well, the human mind is a curious thing and smarter the mind, the more curious it is. These are just manifestations of our smartness, after all! And if you have nothing to hide, then why are you worried? Chill!
As the ‘fairer sex,’ society has fashioned certain standards telling women what they should and shouldn’t be and do! This ranges from the very impractical belief that they should always look “flawless” to the tarnished and even more illogical concept that girls don’t burp or crack their knuckles! They say, “Conceal; don’t feel.” Well, since there are so many restrictions, breaking these ‘rules’ sometimes becomes a major liberation. If men can, so can we. No denying that!
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License