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8 Startling Reasons Why Hopeless Romantics Might Just Be Commitment Phobes In Disguise

We all like the feeling of being in love! Having those butterflies in our stomach often makes us see the best in people. When we love someone, we rarely think of anything else than being with them. We all love differently and experience the beauty of it in our own way. Some of us think that love happens only once while there are quite a few who believes in the power of destiny. We fall in and out of love, way too many times, hoping to meet “the one”.

There are a lot of people out there who hop from one relationship to another in order to find their soulmate. Yes, there is nothing wrong in walking that extra mile to find your one and only, but sooner or later you need to ask yourself- why you are moving from one relationship to another? Are you a commitment phobe or a hopeless romantic?

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When people can’t be in a relationship for too long, they call themselves “hopeless romantic”.

“I can’t settle for anything less than I deserve.”

“I can’t stop myself from falling in love. I guess I’m just a hopeless romantic.”

I have found my friends (sometimes even myself) saying things like these. It took me a long time to realize that maybe I’m not a hopeless romantic. I’m just a relationship hopper, who is afraid of commitments. I can’t be with the same person for too long and have simply given myself the label of a hopeless romantic to make myself feel better.

Suggested read: 12 clear signs you’re a commitment phobe

No matter how much I try to avoid it, I know it is the harsh reality. Truth be told – there are a lot of people out there like me. There is certainly a thin line between commitment phobes and hopeless romantics. If you think you experience love differently than others or is doomed to be in several failed relationships your whole life, chances are that you are just afraid of commitments. Your fear is not letting you see beyond the obvious.

We have come up with some compelling reasons which will make you believe why hopeless romantics can be just commitment phobes in disguise. Chances are that you could be one of them!

1. Their idea of love is different than others

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When we talk about hopeless romantics, we always admire their idea of love. They are the ones who believe that love is the strongest force in this world. They believe in the existence of a “happily ever after” and can do anything to get their magical fairy tale romance.

Too often, they get away from a relationship by saying that it is supposed to end disastrously. If they are not able to sense that magic in a relationship, they quickly leave. We all know that there is no such thing as magic. The “forever” that most of the hopeless romantics look for doesn’t even exist.

I have nothing against them. But maybe, it is their idea of having an unrealistic life that makes them quit a relationship in the most casual way.

2. They like to live in the moment

Commitment is for those who believe in their future. A lot of the people would like to grow old with someone and have kids. Yes, most of the romantics also have the same thought, but they are a little vague. They know what they want, but they don’t know how they are going to get it, or with whom they should have their future.

They like to skip the intermediate steps in order to reach their ending. They live in the present without acknowledging their immediate future. The thought of being in love overwhelms them so much that having a setback in a relationship seems like the most impossible thing.

You can’t really have that “forever after” with your partner without having those late night fights and countless arguments. It is all a part of the overall deal. You can’t have the rainbow with some rain, remember?

3. They rarely see the best in people

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Contrary to the popular belief, I don’t think they are able to see beyond the obvious. They paint their entire world in black and white and don’t recognize the existence of gray. According to them, a person can either be a hero or a villain, which is just not true.

We all are villains as well as heroes. There is both good and bad in all of us and it takes only a pragmatic person to see that. When it comes to hopeless romantics, it is not the case. They either trust people way too easily and don’t acknowledge their flaws or won’t see beyond the obvious faults of the one they don’t like. They don’t surpass the first impression that they have of others, which don’t let them take a leap of faith.

Being in a committed relationship with someone is without a doubt, the biggest leap of faith anyone can ever take. When you are not able to see the best in them, you certainly can’t be with them for the long haul as well.

4. They won’t stick around for long

The moment they realize that something is off, they would leave. Instead of talking to their partner or trying to sort things out, they escape. For them, leaving seems like the most pragmatic thing to do.

It has been seen that most people hop from one relationship to another because they can’t take the bad part that comes along with it. The same goes for hopeless romantics as well. Instead of giving it a fight, they look for an excuse. They leave the moment they realize that the reality is different than their idea of love.

Suggested read: 10 brutal truths about loving a commitment phobe

5. They get high on love

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There is this thing about love – it is the most addictive thing in this world. When we meet someone, we cherish the initial phase of our relationship the most. It has been observed that the initial few weeks (or even months) you spend while knowing the person is the best part of any relationship.

They like to experience that part and especially the feeling that comes with it over and over again. Remember those butterflies you get whenever you talk to your crush? Consider this as the same addiction. They like to experience that phase of being in love. They can’t stop it. They are addicted to that feeling and can’t be committed to someone for a long time.

6. They let their emotions cloud their judgment

It is a proven fact that hopeless romantics are quite emotional. We all usually consider happiness and passion as our most sincere emotions. Call me dark, but the way I see it, there is nothing more sincere than experiencing heartbreak or grief. If they are sad or angry, they would let that cloud their judgment.

They won’t allow their happiness to make their decisions. If their partner has said or done something wrong, they would never let go of it. Instead of trying to surpass the difference between them and their significant other, they would look for an escape because they can’t be someone for the rest of their lives.

7. They are indecisive

Needless to say, they can’t make their mind so easily. One moment they would be ready to give their whole life to be with their partner and the next moment, walking out of the relationship would seem like the best idea to them.

In order to stay with someone for the rest of your life, you need to be decisive. You can’t let a fight or an irreverent argument change the entire course of your life. Relationships don’t work like that.

8. They aren’t that hopeless after all

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To be hopeless is to be actually devoid of hope. Maybe hopeless romantics aren’t all that hopeless after all! They wear their heart on their sleeve and are always ready to fall in love. They are never afraid to try something new and are one of the most daring souls that one can meet.

Suggested read: 12 failproof tips on how to get a guy to admit he likes you

They are always full of hope. They have an idea of this perfect relationship and they are not ready to settle for anything less than that. Their hope keeps them alive and they move from one relationship to another in order to find “the one”. Though, it is their hope that often takes their happiness away. They can’t settle with someone or be in a committed relationship because they would keep hoping to get something more – something better.

I don’t know if being a hopeless romantic is a good thing or a bad, but I do know that not all the hopeless romantics are commitment phobes. Though, there are a lot of people out there (including me) who are simply afraid of commitments. We have a hope of getting something better in the future and it is our optimism that destroys our chance of getting happiness. Maybe, we are the creator of our own catastrophe. Maybe, we have been handpicked by the Creator himself, or maybe not. Maybe, we will find our “happily ever after” one day.

All we can do is keep hoping.

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Article Name
8 Reasons Why Hopeless Romantics Might Just Be Commitment Phobes In Disguise
Because behind the magical charade might be a BIG FEAR! Most hopeless romantics are charged guilty!
Bhavya Kaushik

Bhavya Kaushik

A national bestselling author, Bhavya believes that too often the stories we write paint the reality we try to escape from. Bhavya believes in breaking the stereotypes and trying new things because life is too short to let it stay boring. With his love for verse, he can be found avidly blogging about life, love and everything that covers in between. He lives his life by the motto, 'I'm the story of my own journey.' "I don't write stories. I write characters."