Whether it’s the new girl in office or the cute guy who lives next door, we all have been infatuated more than once in our lives. If you’re truthful enough, you know that some infatuations last longer than they really should. That’s when it could become an obsession and a tad bit dangerous.
An infatuation by itself is rather fun, that little feeling in your heart that makes you do the happy dance at the sight of the person you like. You spend hours simply thinking about them, days wondering what they must be like, and weeks hoping that it turns into something more real or concrete. But the thing about infatuations is that, they aren’t long-lasting. One day they simply fade away, making you feel extremely stupid. However, as long as it lasts, it’s probably the best feeling ever, only next to a pleasurable climax!
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An infatuation can happen to anyone at any given point in time, whether you’re single, committed, or married. It’s the law of attraction that makes one person exceedingly desirable than they really are. When I look back at the guys I was once upon a time infatuated with, they seem so blah now, and it makes me look silly at the thought of how ‘crazy’ I had been about having feelings for them. At that time though, I had been obsessing about them and simply couldn’t get them out of my mind. But, that’s how infatuations work.
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They are short-term feelings, transient at best, that transition over time; they die down in most cases, but as long as you are infatuated, it’s hard to think straight. Most people mistake infatuation for love, only it’s not. Infatuation is anything but love, because it’s a temporary feeling of immense attraction to another person, who may or may not feel the same. An infatuation will last as long as you want it to last. So, you must know that you are in control of this situation and you can make it stop whenever you want.
How to get over an infatuation?
Sometimes, you would will yourself to stop, but you can’t seem to do it on your own. Your mind is not in your control, and you are purely driven by feelings oozing from the heart, and the heart doesn’t have a brain! So, getting over an infatuation may seem slightly difficult. Or perhaps, you don’t want to get over it, because the feeling is incomprehensible even to you, words can’t explain it, and you want to leave it at that. So, how to get over an infatuation, once and for all? Here are 8 ways to get over it.
1. Draw the line
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There is a fine line between infatuation and obsession. So the first thing you need to do is recognize it. What you think about infatuation could in reality be something most people categorize as creepy. So, it would help if you are able to differentiate between the two to ensure you aren’t coming across as a creep! Getting over an infatuation may seem hard in the beginning, but if you are able to draw a perspective and distinguish your emotions, then you’re good to go.
2. Speak to that person
Sometimes, you may be infatuated with someone you haven’t even spoken to, someone you see every day, probably in the subway, in the office cafeteria, in your neighborhood or a place you regularly visit. You may not know the person at all, or may not have been introduced to them. So, they seem surreal and mysterious and too enticing for you to resist. When that happens, the attraction undoubtedly doubles. However, on the other hand, if you’ve made an attempt to talk to them, half the passion could die down if they aren’t as what you had expected them to be. They could instantly turn you off either by their accent, attitude, or plain demeanor. So, try speaking to that person and see how it goes. Chances are that they could turn out to be repulsive, and your so-called infatuation will subside almost instantly. We are all guilty of elevating the object of our affection to a pedestal, only to see them fall from grace, more often than not. Remember this at all times.
3. Distract yourself
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If nothing works, you could distract yourself and engage in activities that help you take your mind off this person. Take up a new hobby, join some activity class, practice yoga for self-control and concentration, or simply get busy with work. Distraction is a great way to get over an infatuation. By doing things that don’t remind you of this person, you could keep your emotions in check and avoid doing something stupid, like writing a love letter to them detailing how much you ‘love’ them, while they might not even know of your existence!
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4. Give it more time before you act
With the passing of time, we generally tend to get over a lot of things. Similarly, our feelings also change with time. Giving yourself more time before you act upon an infatuation may be a great idea. Don’t jump to conclusions right at the beginning. So, if you have been thinking of asking the person out, give it a rest and wait some more time to see if you still feel the same. If you don’t, then you know it was a silly infatuation. When this happens, you can move on from your infatuation that much faster.
5. Get active socially
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It won’t help if you sit home all day and obsess about your crush. So get out in the open, meet new people. Surrounding yourself with people could help you take your mind off this silly infatuation. Sometimes, the lack of socializing turns you into a socially awkward person, who obsesses over things. So, get some fresh air and meet more people. It should do the trick.
6. Understand your feelings
What would really help is analyzing your feelings. Understand that this is just a phase and it will fade away, and that real feelings take time to develop and this may not be love, after all. It’s very important to recognize and understand what you are going through. The emotions can be misleading, and what you think of as love might be pure lust. So, take time to analyze these thoughts and feelings. It will help you know yourself better.
7. Get over with the fantasizing
Yep. Let’s talk about it. How many times have you imagined this person in your bed? Probably numerous times… so get over it. You couldn’t possibly think of them like that forever (or maybe you could, but then note that you’re falling into the creepy category now). Fantasizing about a person isn’t wrong, but if you are going to overdo it, you may be having a psychological problem. So, get done with all the fantasies as soon as possible, and think straight.
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8. Think about the past
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Unless this is your first infatuation, you know exactly how these things work. The passion, the ‘love,’ and the interest in a person fizzles away over a period of time. Start thinking of the time when the same thing happened to you in the past. How did that end? Was that really ‘love’? Did it turn into something long-lasting? Was it all worth it? Reflecting on your past experiences should help you get over an infatuation.
Most infatuations die down almost immediately, and the ones that don’t, sometimes turn into addictions which seem like they’re nothing serious, but can be damaging nonetheless. Especially, in the long run. So, if you’ve been thinking about how to get over an infatuation for a long time, it’s time to put these techniques to test. Do remember that infatuations are merely short-lived feelings of passion and admiration for someone which could decrease or increase over time, depending upon how you treat these feelings. But the thing to remember is to not make this your only purpose in life and move on.
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