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A Comprehensive Guide To Modern Dating Terms You Never Knew You Needed

The language of dating has been in a state of constant flux since the time of Adam and Eve! Conforming to that norm, modern dating comes with a list of terms that reflect both our dependence on technology and also our fear of commitment. Online dating compels us to take a note of the modern dating lexicon, even if we hate it from the core!

So here are some words that you need to mark before setting foot in the scary zone of modern dating!

Suggested read: 10 modern day dating commandments every woman MUST know

1. Benching

When the person you are dating keeps texting you on WhatsApp, Snapchats with you, posts funny memes on your Facebook wall, hearts all your pictures on Instagram, but… does not commit to seeing you in person, he or she is ‘benching,’ according to Jason Chen in New York Magazine.

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Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

2. Softboy

A man who poses as a complicated person with emotions, but is ultimately selfish, is a softboy. Alan Hanson coined this term in an article released on Medium. “He discusses his ex-girlfriend within the first thirty minutes of the date. He talks about her in a sad, wistful way rather than a snarky, resentful way… He is artistic. He is aware. He is still a d—,” writes Hanson.

3. Haunting

The ghost returning through social media interactions without being directly in touch with you, is haunting! Coined in a tweet by Alyson Shontell of Tech Insider, haunting happens when someone actively likes your posts on FB and Instagram, cares to view your stories on Snapchat, but gives you mixed signals all along.

4. Sliding

A form of social media flirting, sliding happens when someone you never knew existed starts sending personal messages to you on these platforms. They “slide into” your DMs. While seemingly inoffensive, sliding is a little abrupt. It happens before you throw any hints showing your interest, though the two of you may publicly be interacting on Twitter.

5. Tuning

Online flirting that skirts the chances of being rejected. It can lead to a text or a booty call. This person will drop hints in the form of likes on Instagram or Facebook. Once there has been a back and forth confirming interest, a DM is sure to follow suit in the late hours of the night!

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Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

6. Passive ghosting

Suppose you got matched with someone on Tinder or Bumble. But when you message them, they act passive. You cannot get through to them, although the two of you have indicated your interest in one another by matching. The conclusion you draw from this frustrating experience is: They have been swiping just for fun, and are passive ghosting!

7. Talking

A casual way of saying that you two have started “seeing each other.” This helps limit expectations as you are kind of saying, “Let’s see.” You are doing this so that neither of you end up wretched if the relationship does not work out.

8. Cuffing season

Fall and winter, the time of the year you don’t want to be single in! C’mon, the snowy, chilly walks, hand-in-hand, to the café that serves the best hot chocolate, returning home where you lie down by the fire and make love! The cuffing makes you want to say, “’til spring do us part!”

9. DTR

“Have you guys DTR-ed, yet?!” DTR, or Define the Relationship shows: We are effing terrified of commitment! We love ambiguity, and that is why, feel the need to label our romantic relationships. This concept reflects a more complex issue of how we try to forge a romantic bond while trying to evade the obligations of commitment.

10. Boo Thing/ Boo thang

A boo thing/ thang refers to your love interest. You guys may already be in a relationship, or are casually hooking up. It falls in the grey area between a one-night stand and a full-fledged commitment.

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Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

11. F*ck buddy

“A [person] with whom one has sex without any emotional attachment or commitment. Also known as ‘friends with benefits’ is a f*ck buddy,” according to the online slang dictionary. This is not only a label, but also a phenomenon, better known as the hook-up culture.

12. DTF

An acronym for Down To F*ck, or willing to put out. A pervasive desire to do away with commitment, plunging straight between someone’s legs!

13. Tinder Creep

People, especially men, who use dating sites as an opening to troll, objectify, harass, and/or berate targets. They lash out in an unsolicited and inappropriate manner. This term kind of proves that most people on these online dating sites are not in search of true love! These Tinder creeps make you want to delete your account!

Suggested read: 11 modern day dating commandments every man MUST know

14. Ghosting

Fading out or ending contact with a ‘boo thing’ 😉 without giving any explanation whatsoever! People who ghost are the ones who feel authorized to cut off contact with someone they were dating at any point they so wish without giving a reason (because there isn’t any!).

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Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

15. Zombieing

So you thought ghosting was cruel, huh? Brace yourself for zombieing then! A zombie is one who has ghosted you before, but re-emerges using a social media channel, thus opening a can of worms.

16. Swerve

Swerve means to dodge someone you are not interested in. Kanye West popularized this term in his song, “Mercy.” Saying so much by saying just a little, swerve allows you to show your disinterest in a person by giving you the authority to get away from him or her. I love this one!

17. Bae

Baby and boo had a kid, and they named it bae! Bae means Before Anyone Else, and has annoyed plenty of us who don’t use it. Funnily, it is now used to piss friends off!

18.  Beer goggles

The infatuated inebriated state in which a drunk person thinks that his or her crush at the bar is more good looking than he or she is in reality!

19. Catch and Release

So you thought it was just another fishing phrase? Catch and Release is a common tactic that daters use while chasing someone. If that someone is reeled in, this commitment-phobe suddenly gets bored and is all, “See you later!” Without any hesitation, he will throw that ‘love object’ back into the wild, and hunt down someone new!

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Image source: Shutterstock

20. Cute-a-gory

A category based solely on looks! This system lets you rate from 0 to 10, and then helps you decide whether they are out of your league or not! Suppose, you consider yourself a 7, you are not going to be interested in someone who is a 4!

21. DFMO

DFMO or Dance Floor Make-Out is the kind of thing you see people do in rom-coms! It is sloppy and has a lot of saliva involved. Yes, makes me want to gag!

22.  Feminist boyfriend

Not constrained by gender stereotypes, a feminist boyfriend is attracted to assertive women, rather than getting intimidated by them. He does not hold on to the stupid notion that his partner must earn less than him, and he should be more popular than her. Cue: George Clooney!

23.  Geographically undesirable

If you think he or she is the one, but they live in the wrong place, they are geographically undesirable to you. It can be a different country, or right next to your place, but since you have to cross a burrow to get there… nah!

24. Lumbersexual

A lumbersexual is “more concerned with existing in the outdoors, or the pseudo-outdoors, than meticulous grooming habits,” according to Tom Puzak of Gear Junkie. They are makind’s answer to metrosexuality! These men have rugged beards, are nature’s pets (at least stalking them on their Instagram page gives that idea!), and wear flannels and daddy jeans. If you are a hipster, this is your meat!

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Image source: Shutterstock

25. Non-date date

No, it is not a tongue twister! It includes plenty of alcohol, intense eye contact, a subtle flirty vibe, and lots & lots of confusion! Is this person being friendly? Or just cordial? Or flirty? You need to spend on a few more rounds during Happy Hour to find out!

26. On a thing  

“Seeing someone” was 2014, now we just say, “on a thing”! Keep It Simple, Silly! When you are ‘on a thing,’ you mean you are in a relationship, and are quite serious about it. However, no one else is aware of it, since you have not made it official yet!

Suggested read: 8 amazing benefits of dating your friend’s ex that you never thought of

27. Slaying

Daters who are not there to fall in love. They are not even looking at you with a feeling of lust in those eyes. They just have one goal: Scoring. They are sexual hunters, or at least that is what they think. They want to roll in the hay, but not with strings attached! Think, Barney Stinson personified!

If you think you are ballsy enough to swim in the unstable waters of modern dating, these concepts will come in handy. Thank us later!

Looking for naughty ideas to rev up your love life? Don’t go anywhere then! A comprehensive list of ideas is on its way, and will be at your disposal soon(est). Stay tuned.

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Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Article Name
A Guide To Modern Dating Terms You Didn't Know You Needed
Modern dating comes with a list of terms that reflect both our dependence on technology and also our fear of commitment. Here's a lexicon to help you out!
Riya Roy

Riya Roy

“If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster.” This Isaac Asimov line, embraces my love for writing in the finest and most desperate way that it is and should be! I was tormented by the earnestness of the written word not very early in my journey. But once smitten, it has helped me devour life twice over; savoring the moment and indulging in its memories. As a flâneuse, I wander to understand the intricacies of human relationships. Realizing that, they are just different manifestations of the same feeling of love, has been my greatest learning. I seek to share its opulence through the words I type.