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12 Mistakes To Avoid When Breaking Up

When you go through a breakup, the pain can be excruciating and it often feels like there is no way we can go back to being the same person again. These feelings can be a bit too much to bear and you may be seeking breakup advice that can help you heal the pain.

The sad thing about breaking up is that we sometimes end up making a string of mistakes from apologizing for things we never did to trying too hard to win the person back. If you too have been there and done that, now is the time to make the right changes so you can get back on track with your life.

Suggested read: 33 things you NEED to do to breakup-proof your relationship

While love is a beautiful feeling, many people often go through bad breakups. This is why we have studied the intricate details of human psychology and have compiled the best breakup advice that will help you know the mistakes you MUST avoid.

1. Friends with the ex

couple talking_New_Love_Times

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

You must have heard this from too many people on too many occasions. While we do understand that there is something called ‘amicable breakup,’ it is still advisable not to be friends with your ex, because frankly, the pain can be a bit too much to bear. Once you have fallen in love with someone, it is hard to be ‘just friends’ with them as there will always be a little hurt and old memories which can be overwhelming at times. So, for the sake of the two of you, we are against the idea of being friends with your ex, no matter how well it had ended.

2. Lacking closure

We all need closure, especially in cases where the heart is involved. If your breakup involved some rapid decisions and unsaid words and you never got the closure you’ve been seeking, now is your time to get it done. Closure ensures that you can end things on a good note. If you haven’t gotten closure yet, you can always try seeking it out within yourself. Tell your inner mind that a chapter has ended and there is no point in pursuing it any further. This little step can go a long way.

3. Casual stalking gets serious

woman working on her laptop_New_Love_Times

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

No, absolutely no. There is no reason to stalk. When you are stalking your ex post breakup, you are digging your own grave, emotionally speaking. Your heart will be full of remorse and what-ifs and maybes. You don’t need that. You deserve a lot better. Nothing good will ever come out of stalking, no matter how casual you may think it to be. So, stop the stalking spree right away. Block him on social sites, if that’s what it takes. The bottom line is that you will not stalk your ex or court old memories. A closed chapter should stay closed. Period.

4. Self-loathing is a strict NO

So many of us end up citing reasons as to why we were not good enough. You may end up staying up at night and thinking of a hundred different reasons as to why it didn’t work out and the reasons why things went haywire. Both people are usually at fault somehow for a failed relationship. Stop blaming yourself for everything. You gave it your best and that’s what matters. Just because a relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean anything about you as a person.

5. Dating bad jerks

It is a shame that so many broken hearts choose this option just because they want a comforting shoulder or the tag of being committed. What use is being in a committed relationship when you are not even picking the right person? Even if you have to wait an eternity for the right guy, do not be afraid to do so. Life is about making the right choices at the right time and not chasing the bad jerks just because you want to prove that you are date-able.

6. Lashing out at others

woman angry_New_Love_Times

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Just because someone broke your heart doesn’t mean that you should go around breaking others’ hearts too. You need to understand that being mean is not going to fetch you your old flame. You have to embrace your own love and spread it around. Saying rude remarks or looking down upon others will only make you regret your deeds when karma comes back to bite you in the rear for your actions.

Suggested read: 15 definite signs you’re not ready for a relationship after a breakup

7. Binge drinking

Alcohol can be very lethal when going through a breakup. The lure of alcohol can be very addicting, but what use is it to wake up the next day as a complete mess? You will only make a fool of yourself. So, don’t fall into the trap of binge drinking as this is one way you are going to carve your own ruins. Stay sober, the heart may hurt and you may feel broken inside, but things will change eventually. Good things happen to good people; it is all about battling the game of time.

8. Public pity party


Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

With the social media gaining gargantuan popularity, too many of us make the mistake of going for a full-on public pity party and causing online drama involving our ex. No good ever comes out of faking sympathy or calling each other names. You should keep the respect and dignity going and don’t allow yourself to become a show others will watch while munching a bowl of popcorn. Things that happened between the two of you should stay there, no public propaganda needed.

9. Self-harm

This is the most serious thing you can do post breakup. Just because someone left you after making all those wonderful promises of love doesn’t mean that you should hurt yourself. Self-harm isn’t a way of showing your love; you should not indulge in hurting your body just because one person left you. Think of all those people who still love you and how shattered they would be if you left them. Life is beautiful. A breakup is a temporary phase with a lot of pain involved. One morning you will wake up with a gorgeous smile and everything will be alright.

10. The curious case of the rebound relationship

Oh, this is such a huge trap. While we do not believe that all rebound relationships are headed for disaster, you know better, right? If you are looking to enter into a rebound relationship, you need to be doubly sure that you are doing so because of your affection for the partner rather than your inability to be on your own. Don’t be in a relationship simply because you are scared of being alone. There is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely, and when you can embrace your own company, it will help you become a lot happier. So, it is best advised to take a ‘break’ post a breakup and then go on a journey to reinvent and rediscover yourself. You will eventually reap the rewards.

11. Too quick, too soon

woman thinking_New_Love_Times

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Love is a matter that calls for time and patience. While there are people who fall in love at first sight, this isn’t the case for everyone. Just because you had a bad breakup doesn’t mean that you need to date the very next person you meet. Alternately, it doesn’t mean that you should give up on love and vow to live the life of a recluse. It doesn’t have to swing toward either of these extremes. The idea is to embrace normalcy for some time. Take your time to explore your options and wait for the right person to come along because they always do.

Suggested read: 20 simple steps to get your groove back after a breakup

12. Going into a hiding

You have to understand that a breakup doesn’t mean that the world has ceased to exist. There will be a time when you will wake up and feel no remorse, regret, or guilt whatsoever. Everything happens in life for a reason, and we would like you to believe that there is someone better for you out there. So, if you have locked yourself indoors or severed ties with your best friends, now is the time to once again start living your life. Enjoy all that you do because life is what you make of it.

So, any of you going through a bad relationship breakup and searching for the right breakup advice to help you through this tough time, you should definitely take a look at these pointers. Having dealt with too many hurt hearts and after witnessing an (almost) equal number of happy ever-afters, we know what clicks, what doesn’t, and what should be skipped. Here’s wishing you a new life sans the drama and filled with loads of love!

Put a happy smile on your pretty face!

Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Article Name
Breakup Advice: 12 Mistakes To Avoid When Breaking Up
Breaking up is never fun. However, when your relationship does come to an end, you need some breakup advice so you can avoid these mistakes when breaking up.
Shruti Fatehpuria

Shruti Fatehpuria

I am a misfit software engineer who left her work in the corporate world to pursue the insatiable quest to write. A freelance worker by the day, I choose to dream with eyes open wide. I have conversations with myself where I talk of the possibilities that life can hold. Too many wishes made on empty starless nights ensure that there are various dreams yet to be lived. I am working my way as I am on a quest to find myself. The greatest journeys are indeed the ones that lie within. I am yet to live my story because right now, the book is full of too many apostrophes and too many commas. The words are jumbled until the right one fits the puzzle. I don't believe in perfection because too many times, it is imperfection which paints the perfect story. I am verbose and I aim at living life in full swing until a speed breaker curbs the tantalizing pace with which I wish to conquer the dreams that would otherwise be too big for the not-so-tiny shoes I wear. Blessed with a lot of chubby fat, I love going the extra mile to conquer my extra dreams with an extra advice after all, we all love a little extra. A die-hard shopaholic, you can often find me laughing on serious stuff inappropriately at wrong times (unintentionally).