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10 Ways To Handle A Breakup When You And Your Ex Have The Same Friends

Now you know what Rachel must have felt when she broke up with Ross. After all, you two were the ‘perfect couple’ in the group, people looked up at you guys for drawing some romancipiration and you were always the go-to couple for relationship advice. But the breakup bomb has been dropped and things aren’t the same. But you still have a whole set of common friends and you wouldn’t know what you’d do without them. It’s hard on you and you need them- but you also know the same is true of your partner.


Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

Here are ten ways on how to handle a breakup in such a situation with dignity –

1. Don’t make them your messenger 

friends texting_New_Love_Times

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Your mutual friends are not your messengers in disguise. It is true, they are best suited to act as a messenger when your ex does not respond to any other communication. You also believe they will be able to convey your “feelings” but don’t put them through this. Soon enough they will get tired of going back and forth!

Suggested read: 12 all-important qualities of a good girlfriend

2. Don’t demand loyalties 

Your friends love you both the same and the breakup was a personal hiatus between you and your partner. It is thus not fair to bring them into the split and ask them to pick sides or show their loyalty.

3. Don’t be possessive 


Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

Your friends may want to spend time with your ex, it is possible that even your ex needs to heal and move on with life and need support from friends. Try not to get judgmental and vent your frustration if your friends end up having fun with your ex.

4. Don’t keep complaining 

woman angry_New_Love_Times

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Obviously your life has gone off track but your friends are not responsible for the situation you are in, unless they actually are! You can expect sympathy from friends for a while but if you constantly complain about your ex or whine about your new found singledom, they may retreat into their own zone- without you!

5. Don’t badmouth their current partners 

It is possible that your ex has moved on much quicker than you have or maybe they were already seeing someone and hence the breakup. In such a case it does not help to criticize or bi*ch about them; after all the current partner may be hanging out with them or not a bad person at all!

6. Don’t hound them for information 

If you haven’t reached a phase where you and your ex can be in the same place together, it is best you avoid each other’s presence. However it does not give you a free pass to bug them about wanting to know what your ex is up to or how their life is. We’d say try to steer clear of cyberstalking too!

7. Don’t take any sh*t 

Sometimes friends do take sides and you could just be on the other end of the spectrum. Your friends may try to admonish you or ask you to ‘mend your ways’ but remember they never were a part of your relationship, all they feel are their own opinions, they have a right to them and you have a right to feel however you wish to.

8. Don’t blame them 

woman angry

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Hindsight can be terrible in relationships, you begin to dissect each and every occasion in the past and wonder what went wrong and when. Make sure you don’t blame your friends for anything. The decisions both of you made were yours alone and even if you may have been influenced, this is not the time to go back and create a rift.

Suggested read: 15 common dating mistakes women make that make or break a relationship

9. Don’t be rude when they have fun 

Social Media can be a pain, check ins, photographs, snapchat stories, it seems brutal that everyone else is having more fun. You may be feeling left out or lonely but don’t hate your friends for having fun. Life doesn’t really stop, nor does the world!

10. Move on and embrace 


Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

The sooner you come to accepting the breakup and embracing a new phase, the sooner you can get over the awkwardness of having a set of mutual friends. At best you all hang out together, at worst, you get lesser time with friends but have more time to make new ones!

Remember friendships are way stronger! :)

Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

Article Name
10 Ways To Handle A Breakup When You And Your Ex Have The Same Friends
What do you do when your now-ex and you turn to the same friends for breakup-support? How do you handle a breakup such as this?
Shilpa Kulkarni

Shilpa Kulkarni

I am a trekker, I love to trek through jungles and life alike! I love the journey more than the destination and the adventure that comes along with it. Counselor, Chef, Foodie, Writer, Traveler, I am all those and more. If you want to get into my good books, just give me a hot cup of Filter Kaapi :)