Listen friends, I am not one to place too much premium on Facebook ‘relationship status’ updates or the tags of ‘girlfriend’ or ‘boyfriend’ to confirm one’s exclusivity status. Just because someone told you they are committed to you does not mean they are! Labels do not hold much clout nor do emphatic and eloquent assertions about louuvveee…!! What does, indeed, evince that one is committed to you in all earnestness are some signs of a committed relationship that need to inevitably be present for you to stamp COMMITTED on your relationship contract and sign on the dotted line!
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
What – I am not kidding! Don’t you see ‘relationship status’ updates changing every second day on Facebook? Perhaps, if they had a provision for ‘I have already used this feature three times and am no longer eligible to try,’ you’d believe me faster! After all, going by the way the FB feed evinces (or makes one lose faith in) louuvveee these days, an article I spent some precious hours on is ‘meh..’ huh? :/
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In any case, I know you are here coz you do want to know if there exists any notable signs of a committed relationship. And I am here to confirm just that. Yes, there’s a bird we know by the name and it shall flutter about on this page soon – so you can see the exquisite colors on its wings.
But before that flight – know this – committed relationship isn’t about how many times ‘I love you’ is said or heard; it isn’t about the number of presents that change hands; it isn’t about the number of romps either. It is about making a conscious decision to ‘CHOOSE’ your partner every second of the journey in life, no matter how difficult the terrain gets, how rough the weather is, and how improbable the odds are! It is about choosing to be by each other’s side through thick and thin, coz ‘adversity’ isn’t just the acid test of true friendship, it is the test of true love too!
To know if you are in one such committed relationship, pop out that notepad and scribble away, so you can later tick these signs of a committed relationship off your checklist. Or not:
1. There is a perfect balance of Me-time and We-time in your lives
No longer do you feel the need to explain why the ‘I-am-staying-home-for-a-bubble-bath-and-finishing-my-book’ night is as important as the ‘We-should-so-go-for-the-Yoko Ono-art-exhibit-this-week’ date! Coz you are pals who understand and appreciate the ME-time as much as you keep the promise of WE-time!
2. You have sunk into the comfy comfort zone around them
Remember the times when you’d sneak-peek into the mirror to check if you were looking great, would excuse yourself to the washroom to see if you had something stuck in your teeth or just check with friends to know if you were looking spectacular enough to give him the *feels*? Well, now you flat-out ask your man – and he leans in to kiss away that ohh-so-adorable chocolate shake line on your upper lip! <gee> There is no longer the need to doll up, coz, hey waking up in your pajamas to find him home and kissing him a welcome hello – with that mask you forgot was on – is funny and adorable. Plus your face would look amazing the next day – mask or the sex – hard to say! Either way, win-win!
3. You include each other in on the ‘regular and mundane’
Now this one is a surefire way to know. I knew I was in a *committed* relationship the day I was at a grocery store, with more items in my cart for my partner, than for myself! And heck, we weren’t even living together at the time! If the ‘mundane-to-magical’ wand is working its charms in your relationship, you can be assured that you are already in commitment-land!
4. Your friends and family have begun to make the obvious comments
Your friends think that by telling one of you something, they are actually telling both of you, whilst your families love the idea of the two of you together coz they can clearly see how happy you make each other. And did I mention, your mom has begun to pick out wedding décor? Just saying! 😉
5. Your BIG picture for the future always has your partner in it
There is nothing about your future that your partner isn’t a part of. It is as if you have picked your partner from the present as the best-EST ‘present’ you could gift to ‘the rest of your life.’ Coz after all, you want to spend the ‘rest of your life’ happily and two-ly together! <blush blush>
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6. Time shared becomes time remembered
No time that you spent together – whether it was just lying between the sheets (no-‘tis not what you are thinking) and binge-watching Netflix whilst hogging on pizza or that spent river-rafting – no together time, I repeat, ever fades away from your memories. You have built beautiful memories together and continue to do so. The fact that your time apart makes you come back for WE-time which you thoroughly enjoy, is proof enough that you are sure you can live 20,000 mundane Mondays together, coz no following Friday will ever be forgettable – and hey, you have the mundane-to-magical magic wand too, no? 😉
7. Every decision in your life has a consideration of how your partner would fit in
This one is a BIG one. From li’l things like giving up their favorite candy bar coz of your allergy or trading in that meat-lover’s pizza for your vegan one to the big decisions about switching jobs or shifting base – are all potent indicators that they are making changes to their life – their behavior, habits, decisions, and so much more – to accommodate that you have no hassles in seamlessly blending in. Moreover, most of the big decisions are MUTUAL and hence, optimal solutions. Now when someone gives you an equal say in their life, that does say a LOT about how committed they are, right? Thought so!
8. You enrich each other’s lives
Both of you make each other want to be a better person. Coz love is all about owning the imperfections, accepting and loving one’s partner just as he/she is, and yet, still never having qualms about letting your guard down, letting go of your ego and making room for continual learning – coz you know they’ll never teach you anything that’s bad for you!
9. Yes, the vacations
Vacations are the best way to find out if you would like journeying together in LIFE. After all, travel unravels new sides of a person and well, if you have been spending too many of the weeks away vacationing – and in perfect harmony – bam! You two are ‘committed’ to making it last!
10. You are completely transparent with one another
No secrets, no lies. You know all there is to know about his life and he knows about yours. You are no longer limiting daily talk to favorites, but can as easily talk bodily functions, are open to farts between the sheets (hey, it happens!), and yes, you are even taking his calls, especially those of his MOM! Now, that’s the HIGHEST level of TRANSPARENT you can get. And the HIGHEST level of COMMITTED too. Believe you me! <big grin>
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11. You go out of your way for one another
This one isn’t even going out of your way anymore. It is ‘just-how-we-are’ syndrome! Doing more for your partner than you can comes naturally to you when you feel truly committed to them and your relationship in your heart! Easy, peasy, and wonderful, isn’t it? 😀
12. And hey, didn’t you just give him the key?
Ohh – the ultimate sign! If you have exchanged keys, you have performed the rites of passage into a committed relationship. Welcome home, honey, is what you will hear when you get back from work while goodbyes will be smothered with kisses! After all, home is where the heart is and a key to your home is a key to your heart – and he’s in!! After all, you have eyes only for him … and Bradley Cooper – hey, who can blame a girl? 😉
Now, now, if these hues adorn the li’l birdie that chirps and sings in the ambit of your love-scape, allow it to spread its wings further and fly, my friend! Coz you have ticked off all the signs of a committed relationship and are TRULY committed!
All the best!