What is love- remains the one question that shall continue to baffle one and all until eternity…

Is LOVE what the movies show it to be?

Is LOVE what the likes of Taylor Swift and Adele pour into songs?

Is LOVE the pain that Grey’s Anatomy has made millions resonate with?

Or is LOVE the happiness of growing old together, like Carl and Ellie (from the movie Up)…?

In a way, LOVE is all these things and yet, not quite any of it…

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They say you get to know much more about something when you know about everything it isn’t…

Just like you know a whole lot more about light when you walk into the dark… and a whole lot more about smiles when you’ve known tears…

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Suggested read: 10 women reveal how their partners said I love you for the first time

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And perhaps, that is why everything that true love isn’t brings us a li’l closer to everything true love IS…

So, let’s see…

1. True love isn’t binding, it’s free

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If a relationship makes you feel ‘bound’ by an overt or covert dictate to be a certain way, act a certain way, say or do things that you may not feel like- it shall suffocate you sooner or later. Love, in its truest sense, is liberating- the kind that lets you breathe free, BE free to be who you are – so you can be loved as you are!

2. True love isn’t selfish, it’s giving

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True love isn’t a balance sheet where each side should match the other. There is no score-keeping in love, no give-and-take competition. True love is all about giving your love freely without expecting a corresponding return. Of course, there may be uneven matches for time and effort- but if love and respect are ever-present, the other creases can be ironed out.

3. True love isn’t owning, it’s sharing

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Love does not give one an entitlement to another’s life. It is a privilege the other awards freely, because of the love he/she feels toward you. When a person lets you in on one’s deepest secrets, darkest desires, burning passions and fiercest dreams- they aren’t giving you their soul to own, only trusting you with the key. Treasure it. And keep it safe.

4. True love isn’t secretive, it’s open

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If you cannot be naked with the one person you claim to be in love with (and I mean- really naked- so they KNOW you like a favorite book- from cover to cover), there’s little of love you’d be willing to share anyway. Imagine having to pretend for fifty years of your life- that’s like living a lie of a life! And I don’t think anybody wants that!

5. True love isn’t perfect, it’s real

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We are so stuck up in our ideas of who our ‘dream guy/girl’ would be and what a relationship with them would be like that we completely rule out any chances of anything going amiss. Ouch. Reality check: there’s as much of trouble in paradise as there is elsewhere. That doesn’t make paradise not-paradise, does it? It isn’t about finding someone perfect- but loving him/her perfectly, in all their imperfection.

Did this help you get a li’l closer to true love? Tell me about it in the comments.

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