Birthdays are anyway dreadful because, “Dude! You are getting older!” But having a Valentine’s Day birthday, without a shred of a doubt, ups the wicked level to an all-time high! Basking in a Valentine’s Day birthday party was way cooler as a kid because all you wanted was candy, right? Also, friends actually turned up for your sad birthday party because they didn’t have a choice of snubbing you for a date! But as you grew older, your Valentine’s Day birthday just got sh*ttier for a number of reasons. Let’s mull over some!
A Valentine’s Day birthday is a drag as bad as a birthday on or around Christmas, if not worse! Halloween could have been a better option, but alas, our parents sucked at event time management! Arggghh! Imagine trick or treating people on your birthday with everyone dressed in wacky costumes??? You see what I mean?! But no. Our parents had to cherry-pick the most puffed, trumpeted, showy Hallmark holiday known to man! The presence of hearts, red and white combinations, boxes of candy everywhere and for everyone (It’s my big day, remember?!) is kind of nauseating!
Image source: dianacgriffith
Also, imagine the stress level of a boy having his birthday on Valentine’s Day?! Whether you will have a rad or a bad birthday depends completely on a blind, winged imbecile named Cupid! Imagine the heartbreak when he sees his girlfriend with someone else on V-Day which is also his birthday! And proposing on V-Day? Forget about that! If the girl says “no” that’s the Valentine birthday, which will haunt you for the rest of your days! On some occasions, you just cannot stop yourself from wondering what your crush is actually doing on that day, (or maybe you just don’t wanna know!!), but it’s only because of Archies and its buddies that your libido starts to have a psychosomatic trauma!
Another awful thing about having your birthday on Valentine’s Day is being called a “Valentine’s Day baby!” If there is something to feel good about the whole hullabaloo around a V-Day birthday, it is the birthday horoscope that we, February 14-ers, share! According to it, we are famous for our dry humor and wit (after the joke that God played on us!). Two, we are extroverts; social butterflies! I believe we are intelligent smart*sses with killer communication skills! High five, Valentine’s Day babies!
But that’s it on Lalaland news. The rest isn’t hunky dory! Cry us a river for the following 10 reasons!!
1. Any day but this!
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Our birthday comes on that day on the calendar when “chicks before d*cks” or worse, “bros over h**s” does not apply! If we look at probability, there are 366 possible days of having a birthday. Yet, by the mercy of some divine superpower (called reproduction!) we ended up with the only day our friends can blow us off, and we are the ones who are supposed to understand! You know what the worst part is about this whole deal? Our friends don’t even have to bother making up an excuse! We just have to come to terms with the fact that we are less important than their special someone!
2. Maximum people we bump into on our special day are annoying AF!
If they are single, they are constantly ranting about it! If they are taken, they are on their mushy, pathetic dates!
The latter is particularly frustrating because they break your heart when not only your birthday is on Valentine’s Day but you are also flying solo! It is just 2xloneliness and that’s not how someone’s supposed to feel on the day of their birth! There are days when we want to completely delete V-Day from our memory pretending it’s a superstition (!), and concentrate on our birthday.
And what happens to those who are dating and have their birthdays on Valentine’s Day? Do they get two sets of gifts? Hmmm, no! The significant other too manipulates the whole chaos to their advantage and gets away with a single gift for two occasions!
3. If we have just broken up, it is a double whammy!
Image source: Crushable
Only a few can handle the trauma of a breakup with a rebound! But us, with a Valentine birthday, we are like a bird killed with two stones! And not a lovebird, most certainly! The days that follow a breakup are a real pull down but it only gets 10 times worse on V-Day and 100 times worse if you have a Valentine’s Day birthday!
4. And how could I forget telling you about buying a gift for someone else on your birthday?!
Yes, this happens when you are not a third wheel or a c*ck blocker! You have to buy your significant other a present on your birthday!!! WTF! How is that even fair?!
5. The “What are we?” circumstance is awkwardly stepped up!
What I am talking about is when you are “kind of” taken! Yeah, this situation leaves you and your almost-partner panicking as the holiday approaches because the last thing that you are certain of is how to handle this uncertainty!
The other party is also busy fretting over whether or not to buy you a birthday gift!
Even asking someone out for dinner is a close call! You don’t want them to freak out like Ryan from “The Office” who lost it when it dawned upon him that he had hooked up with Kelly on the 13th of Feb!
If they are not-so-into you, be certain of the fling expiring just the week before V-Day or your B-day!
Suggested read: 10 things NOT to do on Valentine’s Day
6. Our newsfeed is flooded with photos of people happy for themselves and not us!
Image source: Tumblr
Listen, cheapo, from my junior high class, I do not wish to see a picture of the bouquet of roses that your BF just sent to your workplace until I have been buzzed with a notification that you’ve posted “Happy Birthday” on my wall! First things first, you see!
But that never happens!
7. We fear being proposed to just for the heck of it on our birthday!
We don’t give a damn if you are Prince Charming yourself! If you try and turn another special occasion into a holiday hybrid, we will end you!
8. People think we genetically love every stuff that has hearts on it
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If we hold that thought, does it mean that everyone who shares their birthday with Labor Day works their a** off? And worse, if they were born on Arbor Day, they only buy things with leaves?!!
So spare us the horror, we beg! We cannot look thrilled when opening a jewelry box and finding a cubic zirconia heart-shaped necklace in it!
9. If we are hungover on the 15th, people take for granted it is because we are emotional messes, and certainly not birthday party animals
These shades that we are rocking inside the house on the 15th are not because we spent last night crying over a d*ckhead with a bottle of wine in our hands! Not a single person will give you the benefit of the doubt and understand that you were busy painting the town red and tearing it up on your birthday!
10. We pass the entire birthday month which is also the month of love (so?), leading up to the 14th, all grouchy, and this really irritates our friends and family
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Fault in our stars, folks!
As I told you before, Valentine’s Day babies unsurprisingly have a dry sense of humor, and so most of the whining we do is badly received jokes!
And two, our friends and families love to take us down memory lane when we usually had a pretty good birthday, and that we should perhaps stop being so cranky!
However, we, in all probability, never will! 😉
So basically, having a Valentine’s Day birthday is rubbish! Even getting a dinner reservation at your favorite place becomes worse than a CandyCrush challenge! You may hate red and pink, but suddenly every gift you receive will be either of the two or a combination of both! Also getting chocolates for your birthday is not something one would otherwise look forward to. Or even flowers from a gas station! And birthday parties on Valentine’s Day? That’s just unheard of!
Okay, all that said and done, but I don’t want to sign off on a sad note! How about quickly looking at the break in the cloud? The best thing about having a Valentine’s Day birthday is that everyone you know or everyone who knows you tends to remember it! You will have random people, friends of friends, come up to you and wish you, and that’s a wonderful feeling. Unless they are creepy, of course! But you know, that’s what one wants on their birthday. Being remembered! Also, single or taken, you always have a reason to celebrate on Valentine’s Day! Nobody can take that away from you! So this February 14th, which is also a Sunday, have a blast because it’s your birthday… and also Valentine’s Day! Oops! 😉
Featured image source: dianacgriffith