I am not a believer in checklists- not for dating, anyway. Narrowing down ‘a type’ to date within the ambit of a few generic categories is not something that can ever be done accurately. However, I believe that the ‘best’ relationships are those that are built on a healthy, secure, and mature understanding of oneself. It is only after one has complete self-awareness and understanding of the self that one is ready to list out the ‘desirable’ qualities/traits in their potential partners.
However, one thing that needs to be spelled out right at the outset is this: Mr Right is not about muscles, libido, athletic ability or the wads of green. There is going to be no discussion about the ‘ill-defined’ parameters society uses to define manhood. Only the ‘really RIGHT’ things that define the measure of a potential ‘Mr. Right.’
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Of course, before you land the ‘Mr. Right’ who will take you to your ‘happily ever after,’ you may have to deal with a lot many ‘Mr. Right-Nows,’ and that is no reason to fret, it is just good practice. Dating helps you become more aware of yourself, what you put out there, your likes, dislikes, preferences, and of course, the absolute non-negotiables.
So, if you are single and on the lookout, here’s a list of 10 types of guys you should date along with answers to the ever-so-haunting ‘WHY you should’ :
1. The BFF guy
This guy has been around all your life. He is the one who makes you laugh until you pee your pants, shares your dreams, tastes your whims without complaint, and is always there for you. He is loyal, faithful, and true. He is who he is and does not hide behind any façade. Therefore, with him, what you see is what is. And the best relationships are almost always founded on epic friendships. If you have a guy around like this and you haven’t had the cudgels to ask him out or even notice, this is your cue. Go ahead and do it.
2. The nice romantic guy
Yes, there are guys out there who will raise those expectations and ohh-so-deliciously. They will leave you random love notes, surprise you with flowers, and kiss you in the moonlight. And of course, they are worth all your time coz someone who can quote Keats on a whim or even better, pen down lines at the drop of a hat, is priceless, right? 😉 A word of caution: You are less likely to fall for any other ‘Mr. Right-Nows’ after this one, coz let’s admit it, not everyone can be a Don Juan DeMarco!! <blush>
3. The responsible guy
This one is a non-negotiable. A guy who is responsible in life will be responsible with your ‘feelings’ as well. Reliable, trustworthy, and sound, he is the man who does not just talk it, but walks it too! He is the man who follows up his words with action. He can take care of himself, of things around, knows to prioritize his time, has a direction in life, and shall therefore, would do well in the direction of his ‘relationships.’
4. The ‘let’s talk’ guy
Ahh- the rare species. If you have found this one, hold on to him and don’t let go. ‘Let’s talk’ is like soulful melody to any woman’s parched ears. A woman who knows what it is to be on the ‘communication gap/dead communication’ side of the fence shall well know how priceless the phrase is, especially when it comes from a significant other. A man who knows how to communicate in a sensible and mature manner and puts forth his opinions respectfully (even in a disagreement) is a priceless treasure. Communication is the air which relationships inhale. A man who knows that a life-long conversation is the key to a healthy and happy relationship is a man I’d hold onto forever and you should too!! Find this rare guy who talks because I swear to God, we all need the ‘talk.’
Suggested read: What are the signs of a healthy relationship?
5. The ‘gentleman’
No- I don’t just mean opening doors, pulling chairs or carrying those shopping bags. I am talking of a greater chivalry here- I am talking of a man who is a true ‘gentleman.’ A man who doesn’t just carry that bag but is gentle, humble, and tender because he’s carrying your heart too. A man who knows what it means to be loyal, respectful, and offers his best with a smile- not just to you and the other ladies, but to everyone he meets along the journey of life. J
Suggested read: How to be chivalrous in the 21st century
6. The ‘let’s delve deep’ guy
Another rare breed- this type is fast disappearing from the dating dance floor. If you are the kind of woman who cannot make peace with ‘hollow talk’ about football, cricket and gadgets, you need to find this type of guy. I know that discussing literature, art and philosophy over a cup of coffee is not everyone’s cup of tea but you do need to find someone who is willing to delve deeper about things that interest you, in exchange for the same. A guy who can bare his heart about everything that he is interested in and offers more about what sparks a fire in you is someone worth the R-investment! Duh uh-relationship investment, girl!!
7. The ‘family-guy’
If casual dating isn’t your thing and you are in it for the long haul, this is a front that you may do well to never compromise on. Find a guy who loves, cares for and respects his family, friends, and other important people in his life like nobody’s business. This paints a picture of what a ‘future’ with this guy shall look like. And if he passes the ‘family-love test,’ I can bet that picture of the future is a breathtakingly beautiful one!
8. The emotionally healthy guy
I already pointed out the need to grow into one’s own being and have an acute sense of awareness about self. And that holds for the guy too. Everyone has some kind of baggage. What is important, though, is to have a man who is aware of the same, accepts it, is taking time to heal, grow and become the ‘better’ version of himself. Someone who knows how to do that and understands that this would be a lifelong process shall not only enrich the relationship but also make you embark on a meaningful journey of growth and prosperity.
9. The ‘I-can-make-you-smile’ guy
I am a sucker for smiles. If it were left unto me, the world would be one big, happy smiling ball of joy. In our microcosmic world- the world of relationships- we should strive to do just that. Whilst this is as much your onus as it is of the guy you’re dating, it is important that the guy should be able to make you smile, regardless of your mood, place, time or situation. After all, smiles are always welcome!
10. The ‘good’ guy
Now, now, this isn’t vague. We, women, are just too caught up with an idealistic notion of love to look out for this type. The good guy is a man of character. He is honest, compassionate, loyal, trustworthy, understanding, appreciative, and pure of heart. I’d value that over all the roses, chocolates, and diamonds in the world. Wouldn’t you?
Suggested read: What traits of a man does a modern woman desire most?
While it is hard to find someone who’d be all of these at once, I am sure an optimal mix is out there. You just have to keep your eyes open and the ‘Mr. Right-Now’ might soon become a ‘Mr. Right’ for you. Because, good exists! I have faith! J
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