Girlfriends are nice to have until you go on to ask something you just shouldn’t! But God forbid you do, be prepared to be shot down thus…
1. Are you going to eat that whole thing?
No, I have ordered that food to stare at it while I drink water! <just pray she doesn’t throw some of that food while it’s on the plate and break your head>
2. Why do you have to pout for pictures?
What are you, a pout police or a duck’s advocate? If neither, then chill!
3. You know what my ex did once?
Well, do I look like I want to know? Or is it that you want me to become your ex?
4. Do you really have to buy that dress/shoe?
Do you really have to open your mouth? Do I ever question your indulgences- the time you bought 3 black t-shirts? Or another Xbox? Or a super-pack of condoms when you had some special plans?
5. Why do you need such a huge handbag?
Coz it serves as my very own Pandora box that can pop your brains when they go missing on times like these! <below the belt>
Suggested read: 21 adorably weird relationship goals you will WANT
6. Why did your brother/mom answer the call?
Coz the phone said ‘jackass-who-shall-crib-for-the-next-two-days-if-call-is-not-answered calling!’
7. Geez, why are your parents so protective?
Really? So, how many times did your mom call you today? 15 times? <Ouch>
8. Why is every girl so insecure about her looks?
Why are you so insecure about your ummmm… size? <victory lap>
9. Why do you always have to nag?
Well, why can’t you stop being such a douche bag and listen to it the first time?
10. Oh, it’s just a goodnight text from Ruby. Why do you have such a problem with her anyway?
Firstly, it’s 2:30 am and it’s no time for HER to be saying goodnight. Secondly, you cannot be saying that to your girlfriend who is sitting next to you and waiting for you to stop texting! And third, if that’s how you wanna play it, she will be happy to go around wishing goodnight to all the guys on her phone.
11. You would WANT to split the bill?
Okay, shut up! It’s one thing if you ask “Hey, want to split the bill?” or even “let’s split the bill?” “You would want to?” That’s just offensive in its presumption…go, learn the language!
12. Are you sure you want to drive?
Are you sure you want to live and be her boyfriend? <we can’t predict the damage this one might do- may cost you your life> 😛
This list is by no means a comprehensive one for the female mind but consider yourself sufficiently forewarned! 😉 😛
Never mess with your girlfriend!