“Men are not supposed to be mysterious. That’s what you say about women. But I think men can have a little of it, too.” – Hedi Slimane
When we men are all by ourselves we do pretty strange and embarrassing things. Now, before I start, I wish to make one thing very clear – that things listed below are some weird things that every male does; so you can either accept it or completely lie to yourself – your choice.
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1. Roam around half naked
We men like to roam around with as few clothes as possible. We love to expose ourselves, that’s our way to feel at one with nature.
2. Spend a heck of a lot of time in the toilet
When no one is around, we cannot figure out how to kill time, and the best possible way we come up with is to spend some quality time with ourselves in the bathroom!
3. Talking to ourselves
This might sound crazy, but yes, we do this; it releases stress and gives us mental peace.
4. Stalk our exes
Be it on Facebook or Twitter, we love to cyber-stalk our ex and even curse her for putting happy profile pictures or cutesy status updates – especially when it’s with their current boyfriends. Some sentimental dudes also cry reminiscing about the good memories they shared with their ex.
5. FOL – “Fart out loud”
Farting is a natural process that every human does, but when we are home alone, we have this urge to know how loud we can let it rip. It’s like a competition with our own body, and in order to achieve it we put tremendous pressure on our abdominal muscles to get one great fart, and the prize is a great sense of relief that we get after it.
6. Sniff different parts of our body
We consciously or unconsciously smell their armpits, feet, and various other parts of our body. I know it’s gross, but we just do it.
7. Pick our nose and ears
We love picking our nose and ears, be it with our fingers or with a pen cap. We do not even tell people to stop when they start chewing the same pen cap we used to dig our nose or ears. No regrets! 😉
8. Stare at a wall
We men are blessed with a unique ability to not think of anything for hours on end. So we cluelessly stare at a wall or any other object and kill time.
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9. Try out new hairstyles
Be it a Mohawk, a hipster look, or a spikes, we love to experiment with our hair when we’re all by ourselves.
10. Avoid showering
Yeah, we have the ability to avoid it for days/weeks and live without giving a single thought to personal hygiene.
11. Try to attempt a headstand
We men have a strange belief that stunts can make us look cool. Even though it can break our necks we can risk our lives with a hope that one day we will do a perfect headstand and woo a perfect lady with this skill.
12. Try out women’s cosmetics
We always wonder why women take so long to get ready, and this curiosity makes us try on putting makeup ourselves.
13. Fantasize and daydream
We fantasize about other women when we are alone. We also daydream about various things like a perfect response to someone who has recently argued with us or simply about the luxurious life we wish to have, probably in the near future.
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