Welcome to my life!
Yes, I, being a straight woman, regressed to our primal urges and got attracted to a man with a beard! It was only later that I realized what kind of a struggle I had subscribed to!
Let me give you an expectation vs reality here to illustrate the same!
Expectation: Kissing is super fun coz his beard tickles you in a ‘free chin scratch’ kinda way!
Reality: You need to constantly tell your friends how you got those scars!
Get my point? Let’s see if the following struggles of dating a guy with a beard make any sense to you!
1. “So what do you think about that beard?!”
Image source: Giphy
If there is one question that pisses you off the most, it is this! You are expected to give your opinion about your partner’s stubble more times than tell people how you are, in general!
2. This one’s a little different from mine!
You are not only expected to give your opinion about any kind of body hair, at large, but also provide a detailed commentary on how his current style is fuzzier than the ones he’s donned before!!!
Basically, no one really cares about your winged eyeliner being on fleek anymore!
3. You had no clue about The Beard Pack before but that was a different life!
Image source: wifflegif
Yes, you were oblivious AF about the waxes, the beard soap, the conditioners, dry and wet razors, and brace yourself, the beard lube! Perfection doesn’t just happen, okay?
4. There are bits of food in it!
Every single time! Though you found it cute, initially, now you just go with it!
5. The beard anecdotes!
Whenever you introduce your significant other to anyone, they start narrating the lamest beard yarn. You, probably, remember a handful now, and can use it as bedtime stories for your kids!
6. The parents and the in-laws are one about getting that mane shorn!
Image source: Tumblr
While your parents have told you a million times about how good your S.O. would look without all that fluff (IKR?!), his parents try to conscript you as an associate in their mission to make him shave that thing off!
7. But you are in a dilemma here!
You like his beard. It’s sexy and macho and dapper and spruce. Except when he has just walked out of the shower, coz wet beard is a squelchy, soggy sponge!
Suggested read: 10 reasons why bearded men are the hottest
8. The ‘snuggle’ is real!
Who will tell these men that a stubble rubbed against our soft skins is in NO WAY SEXY!!!
9. You stroke it like a pet!
Image source: ohnotheydidnt
Though stroking something else would be more beneficial, if you know what I mean! 😉
10. You have stopped wearing the “Mountain Man” fur hat, when out with him!
Or the fleece coat for that matter!
11. You have had incalculable discussions about that jiff of face between his chin and his upper lip!
Image source: madewithloveskincare
That apparently is a ‘No man’s hair land!’
12. Expect to live in the pet house if you ignore his beard nips!
So what you got a pixie last week, colored it a space-inspired theme, and he didn’t notice? If you fail to comment on and admire his new shave, expect a “we need to talk” moment!
13. Having him shave is a massacre!
Image source: Tumblr
Those miniature, black whiskers on the sink remind you of an ant invasion! And he is not going to clean it right away coz he needs to display his brand new (read: exactly the same) shave to you, immediately!
14. At the end of the day, you love it because it is still better than a lip foliage!
AKA a strip of hair abandoned over the upper lip!
Enough of ranting now, girls! Admit it: A man with beard goes down a lot better than a man without it! 😉
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License