True to God, I am tired of hearing insane questions and comments about my job as a content writer. I have been asked by some very ‘experienced aunties’ if what I do is a fancy word for being unemployed. Oh yes, it is and once I am done with my unemployment gig, how’d you like I come over and tell your IIT & IIM pass-out son just how much better my gig is than the job he gets paid fat (but lesser) wads of green for! Okay, not always- content writing is tough but nonetheless.
Image source: Giphy
Doing what I do isn’t easy and God knows I have paid my dues. Check out all the inane stuff I’ve heard:
1. Aw, man! Need some bucks?
Seriously guys, I have a job and even though writers are a struggling bunch of people, some of us earn better than those corporate honchos who don’t even get to sleep.
2. Really! You are paid for using the Internet
Well, well, you judgmental pricks, I am not paid for surfing the internet but for writing stuff you read and rap about. So, yes and no.
3. What!? You get paid?@#
I really contemplate telling some people that I am such a huge charitable person that I work for free! Duh uh, content writing is a job and every job is paid. Where did you get that empty brain, huh?
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4. Just spin it
This one goes out to my bosses! What the heck do you mean just spin it! Do I look like some twisted form of human-toy to you? Spin it- what the hell is ‘spin it’- enlighten me puhlease!!!!
Image source: Tumblr
Yes, for a job that equals unemployment for most, I don’t remember the last Sunday I took an off for myself. So much for ‘is that a real job?’
6. Birthday memos
Don’t even get me started on this one! Do you know what was my part time job at college? Filling in those cutesy birthday memos for my friend’s girlfriend’s sister’s 18th birthday bash! Worst thing is you ain’t paid for that sh*t!
7. I feel for you, bro
No, you don’t need to feel for me and definitely I don’t feel like bro-ing you too. Cut that sympathy because honey, I have a job I adore! And yes, I get paid for it too!
8. Just another odd job
Image source: corineswriting
I have begun to pop pills for hypertension because every time I attend a family function- the drill begins. She is just doing another odd job, nothing much, just some time typing keys on the computer. CONTENT WRITER is a freaking full time job! What is so hard to understand for goddamn sake!
9. Did you write Harry Potter?
Really! This is the lamest sh*t flung at us lesser mortals! Just because I ghostwrite books doesn’t mean JK Rowling needs to rope me in. Plus, really- where were you when god was handing out brains?
10. Serial killing is my business
Wait! Don’t judge me. However, if you get on my nerves a bit too much, I am going to mercilessly kill you and hack your bones and chop them and feed it to hungry vultures. Of course, all of this will be on papre- with the pen. Never heard of the pen being mightier than the sword, eh?
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11. Let’s play a quiz
Just because I am a content writer, I don’t catch the breaking news every moment! We are given tasks and we do that. My job is not to know where Narendra Modi is off to at the moment. Heck, even his PA must have a hard time remembering that!
12. Impromptu plans. She will always be in
I hate to break it to you, but no I am not always free. I can’t join your impromptu plans because ta-da I have a job even if you don’t believe so.
13. Anybody can write
Of course you can. The question is how many will read the cr*p you write?
14. Are you famous?
Yes darling I am famous in my friend circle for being so sarcastic that somebody died today simply by consuming lethal doses of my humor. Would you like to see a teaser? 😛
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