Hi there! It’s me, Weird! I think you are reading this coz:
- You too are weird!
- Or, (it’s more likely that) you are dating a weird girl!
Cheers! Dating weird girls, that is, those with unusual ingredients, ensures one thing at least: your life will never be dull again! Though we are teeny-weeny nutcases, and one might take ages if not lives to get our tacky sense of humor, you will never ever want to let go of us! 😉
Suggested read: Why you should always date the quirky girl
So here are 20 things you need to know before signing up for the challenge of dating a weirdling!
1. “Normal” is not our cup of tea!
Image source: bullpenmom
Being weird, don’t expect us to like, let alone enjoy, typical date nights! We are not into them and definitely not into small talk! So if your intentions are to talk to us in a way that feels more like an inquisitive interview, we might just tune out. We will civilly nod and occasionally leer, but don’t mistake that for interest. That’s just a glimmer of false hope, my love! So don’t feel let down if we don’t reply to your texts or return your calls. See inward. Know that you did something wrong and deserve this for boring us to death that night. Okay?
2. Zany is the new black!
If you had no clue and were guessing if we were joking when we said something strange, it is perfectly safe to assume that we were just being ourselves. Like the default mode of our phones is ‘silent,’ similarly, the default mode for our mouths is zany (Dude, why so serious?!).
Also, we constantly do different accents, as if the way we talk isn’t already weird enough!! Anyway, Brit is particularly our favorite. So don’t get alarmed when we suddenly go “Bugger off you foolish cow,” in the market place!
3. We WON’T try regular things and people!
Image source: Tumblr
So you have “normal” pals and you want us to hang out with them? So cute, but that’s NOT HAPPENING! Puh-lease, don’t make us do that! Yes, you can accuse us of being the life of the party at other times, but if we can’t vibe with the crowd coz they are too “regular,” we are out of there! We cannot fake it! Also, being at the coolest club with the sexiest people on a Saturday night is not our thing! This kind of a situation makes no sense to us. Now that the “regulars” are out and the “hotties” are out, so who can we gel with? Do we actually need to answer that?
4. The mind palace!
When dating a weird girl like me, you need to know that our mind is a fantastic place. So it’s perfectly okay for us to zone out all the time! My dating advice to you is that when you catch us doing the same, do not disturb. It is in moments like this that all our genius ideas are born. Yeah, the ones that others call weird. P.S.: Even if they are not genius, you are expected to just go with it. Don’t argue!
5. Get your requirements straight!
Image source: popkey
There will be moments… every day, when we will make a scene in public. But we can guarantee that it will at least be funny. Deal? See, we are the weird girls, remember?? So if you are expecting ladylike, graceful, and dainty, you are barking up the wrong tree, dude!
6. Moves like Jagger!
There is no shame in performing some really quirky dance moves in front of you. And in front of everyone, once we are inebriated! Our dance style ranges from “fat dad at a barbecue party” to “a stripper who has to pay her rent tomorrow”! Some days when we are extremely happy for no rhyme or reason, we will break out into a random dance move in the streets. This isn’t socially acceptable? As if we care!
7. You cannot once forestall what we are about to say next!
Typical social get-togethers like Super Bowl Sunday, Throw Back Thursday or Prom Saturday, etc., – we can’t make any sense of such “rites of passage”! Why we hate going to these places? Well, people are intimidated by us, but that’s not the worst part. Once we open our mouths, they are horrified! We speak our minds. Coz:
- We can.
- We want to.
And C. Who the eff are you to ask me why?
8. Humor has it!
Image source: Tumblr
The thing about dating a weird girl is that she is going to embarrass you… a lot. She will make inappropriate jokes in grave situations! But know that she doesn’t mean it. She is not an insensitive psycho, for God’s sakes! If you don’t have a good sense of humor, know that weird girls are not your cup of tea!
9. Making folks awkward is our thing!
If your family is a very serious and pretentious kind, know that we will mess with them! Think cats and dogs, and cats and laser pointers! In the former, we are the cat, and in the latter, the laser pointer! We are really good at making people uncomfortable. Not intentionally though. There are times when we need to check if our boobs are still there and if yes, in their right places!
10. Everything shall be named!
Image source: Imgur
From a beetle to a hat, everything! We be more like, “I shall call him spongy and he will magically be mine.”
It will be expected of you to respect our pets. You too, are supposed to talk to them like they are humans. Because they are, okay? They have feelings!
Extend the same logic to non-living things that we have named. You will find us apologizing to inanimate objects throughout the day!
11. Date night ideas? Don’t bother asking!
Never ask us where we want to go for a date. If you do, brace yourself to be bombarded with all the odd and inappropriate places one can come up with. Our suggestions are way too original! We will keep you on your toes for certain!
12. We, the crooners!
Image source: uproxx
When we get real hyper, the talking goes into singing which further builds into bizarre noises! Expect all this to go into overdrive when we are drunk. Or have indulged in too much caffeine. Now that I have already referred to singing, let me delve into it a little further. Our singing is annoying to some (duh!) because we sing in non-singing situations, we make up the lyrics as we go along, and even our normal sentences transform into ballads! Now we can’t help it if you people can’t distinguish between crazy and genius!
13. We are drugs!
We will possibly, by accident, charm you! But you will be fatally mistaken if you thought we were endearing. We are just weird! No, we don’t do drugs. Don’t you get it? We are drugs!
P.S.: This is another issue with a weird woman. She will constantly remind you of the fact that she is the strangest thing you have ever come across or will ever cross paths with!
14. Our relationship with our phones is a different saga!
Don’t get confused when you see us all weird with our cell phones. We conceal our phone calls, even from our bestie (that is if we have one!). Listening to something while looking at something totally different is too much pressure for us. Don’t you think that is a lot of physical input heaped on top of what already feels like a Mt. Everest in our heads?!
15. We heart aliens!
Image source: Netflix
Our favorite topic of discussion, after we have told you how bizarre we are, is aliens!! We bring them up all the time! Like, a lot! Apart from this, we also like inventing things. Nah, not anything that would save the world from itself, but things that will make our lives more interesting. And if we are happy, you are happy, right?
16. Lady Gaga is inspiration!
Never comment on our choice of outfits, or any other choice for that matter! We chose you, remember? Yeah so, our pick when it comes to apparels will be stuff you have never seen before! So bloody different and unique! Also to go with those gears, we make foul faces on the regular! You have no clue what incredible things the human facial muscles are capable of doing. Leave it on us to demonstrate the same! Why don’t we try attractive faces? Because we wouldn’t need to try that, fella!
17. The rules of seduction!
Image source: Imgur
Our ways of seducing you are going to be… hmmm… not boring but not quite flawless either. A safe word would be unique. Trust us, in the depths of your heart, you are going to love it! At times, you may catch us staring at you for more than a good fifteen minutes. Don’t get scared. We mean well!
18. Never a dull moment!
When we get drunk, we tend to make noises that we think are sexy but sounds more like a cross between a croak and a grunt! See how the date night will always be an adventure with us tapping into our inner animal?!
19. Food wasn’t meant to be only eaten!
We will use food in ways that one definitely shouldn’t try at home! For example, using peanut butter as a face mask! We have bizarre traditions which must never be questioned. ‘Whatever you say will be used against you’! Weird is our lifestyle. It’s our religion!
Suggested read: 15 vital things to know when you’re dating a strong woman
20. Weird will become you too!
Image source: Giphy
We will always cheer you to let your nut flag fly high! To be with the weird, baby, you gotta be the weird too!
Now that you have been warned enough, your decision is entirely yours and we have nothing to do with it. Bye! 😉
Featured image source: borongaja