We all wish to find a love that lasts. We draw out a story from every wound a heartbreak left behind, every scar from an old relationship and every ache beating in our chest- if only to convince ourselves of our own narratives of worthiness. We believe we deserve to find a love that lasts- not because we wish to experience the most powerful thing in the universe- but because we are afraid our own universe shall break, bleed and fall in its absence. Maybe that’s where we go wrong. Maybe we make more mistakes than just the one. Maybe we don’t really know what it takes.
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A love that lasts isn’t built overnight. It doesn’t break out at the wake of dawn to paint your days in its rosy hues. Nor does it arrive by the time dusk dresses the sky in darker, saturated shades. You don’t just deserve a love like that- you earn it. Someone, somewhere in the whole wide world is receiving it because they worked hard to BE it. You have to become love in order to find it- and when you do, love harder to keep it. So, don’t get disheartened because you did not chance upon your soulmate today- they are on their way- and shall reach you when you are ready.
Suggested read: How I am getting over you
Until then, take solace in some intense quotes that teach you a thing or two (or twenty-one) about how to find the love you want:
If you want to meet your true love, don’t focus on wanting someone to take away your loneliness or make you feel less unloved. Instead think about everything you have to offer the right person, and imagine the beautiful, productive relationship you will have, which is what you will project and attract.
— Jillian Michaels
If you think love is something that exists anywhere but within your own mind and heart, you will never have it.
— Brianna Wiest
People cannot transmute emotions, which is interesting to consider when you realize how utterly consumed the human race is with the concept of getting other people to love us.
— Brianna Wiest
Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.
— Robert Holden
Happiness isn’t something you get from a relationship (although a relationship can certainly add to your level of happiness), it’s something that spills into your relationship.
— Sabrina Alexis
People aren’t always what you want them to be. Sometimes they disappoint you or let you down, but you have to give them a chance first. You can’t just meet someone and expect them to be everything you’re looking for and then be angry when they’re not every hope and aspiration you projected onto them. It’s foolish to believe that someone will be what you imagine them to be. And sometimes, when you give them a chance, they turn out to be better than you imagined. Different, but better.
— Chloe Rattray
What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person.
— John Green
Finding the right person to spend forever with shouldn’t be easy. When things come easily, the relationship ends up being temporary.
— Catherine Bybee
The number one way to attract love is to make yourself into a vessel that can receive it.
— Sabrina Alexis
Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.
— Brené Brown
Love will make you into the best and worst version of yourself, often in the same night.
— Ryan O’Connell
You’ll always care about your first love. That doesn’t make you crazy, it just makes you human. When relationships end, it’s not so cut and dry. You carry everyone you’ve ever loved into every relationship thereafter.
— Ryan O’Connell
Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to rely on someone. For a lot of people, it’s their Achilles heel. Love is the reason why they made most of their mistakes.
— Ryan O’Connell
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.
— Erica Jong
When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself.
— Deepak Chopra
Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment.
— Deepak Chopra
You can be totally perfect for one another, you can love each other like crazy, you can be wildly attracted to one another, you can even be soul mates, and you will still have to work at it.
Suggested read: Why your love story may have reached the end, but your love is fated to BE
— Sabrina Alexis
We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: it’s got to be the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, ‘This is the problem I want to have.’
— Andrew Boyd
Any fool can love somebody who’s perfect, somebody who does everything right. But that doesn’t stretch your soul. Your soul only gets stretched when you can still love somebody after they’ve hurt you.
Suggested read: You are not meant to forget him
— Susan Elizabeth Phillips
The foundation of adult trust is not “You will never hurt me.” It is “I trust myself with whatever you do.
— David Richo
People will disappoint you and wrong you, but they will also defend you and fight for you and bowl you over with kindness. We are all such radiant fuckups — we have to remember this and love one another for it. And even when it seems impossible, we have to be good to one another, to extend an open hand, to try to bring the light back in to illuminate the darkness.
— Cody Gohl
Because forever is built a day, at a time. EARN yours’.
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