“Arrgghh- I don’t have a date, I’m not coming!” “Why don’t you try online dating?”
Do you cringe at the mere mention of online dating because you have had far too many dates from hell! Well, we feel you, hon. We know how the attempts to find love while making the fingers swell to thrice their size and eyes appear shot from sleepless nights like a worsened case of double-digit hangover from lukewarm tequila shots gone wrong FEELS! Yes, we know the *feels* So, in solidarity, let’s look back at the all-too-REAL struggles of every online dater. Because only an online dater can vouch for the prickly pain in the a*s the hunt for love can be!
1. Finding the perfect profile
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Ever kept count of the number of hours we spend on the different dating portals just for the sake of finding that one perfect profile who isn’t too creepy, too good to be true, too flashy or too fake? If you found your Mr. Right a bit too quickly, you have every reason to worry because online dating and quick success generally don’t go hand in hand.
Suggested read: 7 REAL reasons why online dating will never fetch you lasting love
2. Too many apps, too little use
The list perhaps never ends. With Tinder and its kin flooding the world of online dating, you will be tempted to steal a look into all of these apps. But, if only one of them’d have brought in the right swipe that made you happy, you’d not curse’em all and wish a plague be cast upon the appscape!
3. The stalkers, the haters!
Once you start online dating, you will come across a special parade of perverts (some of the kind you didn’t know existed) who will stalk you down or send you anonymous hate texts and mails all over the place, after you have blocked their unsolicited d*ck pictures or unwarranted invitations for crazy orgies. And just when you find someone you believe steers clear of the grime, bam- you can hear the evil Tinder-esque laughter of the universe along with ‘Gotcha!’ FML
4. Drastic moments of depression
After endless months and even years (which felt like centuries) of trying your hand at online dating and not finding even even one decent online dater who could be a near-about match, the depression you may feel can be tantalizingly high. We know the *feels*
5. The fake pretension game
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No matter how much you despise it, you must play it! As an online dater who has got no option but to keep looking, you will still need to nod and pretend like it is a whole new wonderful world out there. “Oh you won’t believe the guys I meet. It is amazing, you should try it too,” is what you say when you are actually internally screaming curses and wishing to bang the head of the person who popped the censored question against the wall! Oh, and if you didn’t know it already, there’s a fair degree of the pretend-game to be played out on dates too. Coz some seasoned veteran at online dating told me it’s just rude if you zone out when the other person is telling you about the number of times he needs to check if his door’s locked at night!
6. *Those* tales
I am not sure if this is a good thing or bad. Bad dates make for the best stories- so you’ll have plenty in your kitty! No matter where you go, you will always find a couple of people who would be more interested in your dating life than you yourself are! “Oh tell Jim too, Jim, you gotta hear about Kate’s date, we still can’t stop laughing!” So, see- your life is amusing to others- and if you are a writer, well, you’ve struck gold!
7. Butterflies before the date
Image source: Shutterstock
The fact that you never know what to expect from a date you do manage to fix up online gives you the weird butterflies’ parade in your tummy! You literally pull off the strength to dress up for what could easily be the worst of your lot, as these crazy creatures multiply in your tummy at the rate rabbits f*ck!
Suggested read: 10 sneaky online dating red flags on men’s profiles
8. And WTF right after!
In the end, your date turns out just as terrible as the old one and God forbid, sometimes even worse (unless you have a fairy Godmother)!
However, that said, once in awhile, you may find the love of your life sitting like a total ba**ss hunk on one of those social profiles and you end up being grateful for putting up with the s**t for so long!
But sorry, that’s matter for a fictional tale I’m working on!
Sorry folks!
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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