10 Common Mistakes All Men Make In A Relationship

by Fabida Abdulla · June 28, 2015

“I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.” – Oscar Wilde

It’s common knowledge now that men and women see and commit to relationships in entirely different ways. It could do with the difference in our brain structures, genetics or societal influences, but the bottom line is this: we’re different. And this difference is the most profound in the way we behave in relationships. Men are single-minded beings, with their brains focusing on just one thing at a time. But a woman’s brain is like that proverbial ‘browser with a hundred tabs open’ – she’s thinking about a million things at once. As a result, men and women don’t always see eye to eye. Unfortunately, many men give up after a half-hearted effort of trying to understand their women, and this is one of the most common relationship mistakes men make!

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Yes, women are complex creatures and all; but they’re humans too! While no one expects a man to fully know which page each of a woman’s ‘browser tab’ is on, a basic understanding of what women expect from their men is essential. At the very least, a man needs to know what not to do in a relationship. Some men just take the easy route saying that ‘there’s no knowing what’s going on in that head of hers.’ Now, that is just pure laziness! And it reeks of insensitivity too, since these men often expect their women to magically know their needs and cater to them accordingly. Men need to learn to read a woman’s moods and know the right time to offer a hug, a solution or to just leave her alone. There is no excuse for not even trying to understand a woman’s thoughts, especially when we’re here to offer help!

While we agree that knowing what women want is something that has baffled men since eons, knowing what to avoid isn’t that hard!! And so we come to the 10 most common mistakes in relationships made by men – stay away from these and you’ll be okay!

10 common mistakes men make in a relationship

1. Being too possessive

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In the initial days of a relationship, a woman might find it sweet that her man wants her all to himself, but that’s about how much possessiveness she can tolerate. Even though you might classify your woman as a ‘homebody’ or a ‘tame spirit,’ don’t forget that everyone values their freedom above everything else. She is not your personal robot whose remote control is in your hands. You’re stifling your woman when you attempt to control what she wears, where she goes, who her friends should be, and so on. When you play a twenty questions game with her about where she was and who she was meeting, you’ll soon find that you’re playing that game by yourself!

2. Not prioritizing her

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When you’re in a relationship with a woman, she deserves your top most priority. Like women, men also have other things to deal with, like work, family, friends, and hobbies, but when these take more time and space than she does, trouble starts to brew. Doing this sends out the signal that she is less important than all these distractions and no woman likes feeling like that – trust us! This also means that men need to stand up for their woman, and be on her side in any conflict, and that includes fights with your Mom!

3. Breaking her trust

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This is among the most serious mistakes men make in relationships that often decides the making or breaking of a relationship. Few things matter more to women than trust, and considering that most women give their all when they enter a relationship, they expect the same from their partners. Trust here doesn’t just refer to cheating, although that is an absolute deal breaker and about the worst thing you could do to your woman. It also refers to keeping her secrets safe, and fulfilling your promises to her.

4. Not appreciating her

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This is probably the number one among common relationship mistakes by men – not appreciating their women enough! According to a survey by the American Bureau of Labor Statistics, 83% of women spend time managing their homes every day, compared to just 65% of men. On an average day, a woman spends an hour caring for young children, while a man spends about 26 minutes. At the workplace, women working full time earn only 77% of what men earn. All these point to the drastic under-appreciation of women in our culture, and the last person she needs to take her for granted is her life partner!

5. Being self-absorbed

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It’s unbelievable how many men in relationships are so absorbed in themselves, that they don’t even realize it! Many men have been brought up to think that they’re the center of the universe, and they expect their wives or girlfriends to treat them the same way. They fail to realize that an adult relationship is between equals, and is not a parent child relationship where one party is always catering to the needs of the other. Self absorbed men rarely consider the feelings of their women and often end up trivializing their problems, however real they may be.

6. Having no integrity

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A man’s looks, wealth, and general sex appeal may have women all swooning over him, but none of it compares to a man of good character. ‘Sow a character, reap a destiny,’ said Stephen Covey, and this is what most women look for in a lifelong companion. They know that a man with integrity will not resort to any form of dishonesty to get his way, and that he will ensure an open, honest relationship with his partner. Playing crooked games of lies can get very exhausting, and no woman wants a lifetime of that.

7. Not respecting her

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All relationship experts stress on the importance of respect in a relationship; but unfortunately, most men consider it the sole privilege of the males of the species. They think that as long as they’re providing for their woman, their job is done. They forget that their women deserve just as much, if not more respect. Disregarding your woman’s dreams and aspirations will breed resentment, which eventually sounds the death knell for any relationship. Then there are men who think that in spite of having a stable partner, it’s okay to ‘look around’ a little. All we can say is that it’s the height of disrespect to a woman when her man does that.

8. Not listening

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If you’re a man, you’re probably thinking, ‘Not again!’ Sorry guys, but it’s true – men don’t know how to listen! While this is among those relationship mistakes that are more a result of ignorance rather than meanness, the fact is that some men don’t even try. Some men listen, and try to fix the situation right away with what they consider helpful solutions. Unfortunately, this is generally not what a woman is looking for, and she feels unheard even though her partner thinks he’s done his bit. Men, if this confuses you, you should read up on Stephen Covey’s ideas on ‘empathic listening.’

9. Not cherishing her

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Women want to be loved and cared for, but they also want to be cherished. Your woman wants to feel like a queen, and she wants no one but you to make her feel that way. Women thrive on compliments and when you notice her new haircut or outfit, it shows that you’re being attentive to her and that she still has the ability to make your heart stop. And this has nothing to do with how old she is; this is something women of all ages feel.

Suggested read: 10 simple yet vital romantic needs of a woman

10. Being complacent

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Women spend a lot of time thinking about the future, and they want to know that it will be a secure, happy one, especially for their offspring. And men who are complacent about their goals and dreams don’t seem likely to build such a future with them. Being stagnant is never good, whether it’s about moving ahead in your career, or improving yourself. Most women don’t care much if a man doesn’t have a lot of wealth in hand right now, but they do care if he isn’t planning on working towards a better life.

Like we said, understanding a woman may take a lifetime, as will figuring out what she needs. But if you can avoid these relationship mistakes, you’re well on your way. And you can be guaranteed that your efforts will not go in vain, because you’ll have with you a woman who’ll love you with such passion and dedication as only a woman can. It’s something that Travis Tritt talks about in his song, ‘Love of a Woman’:

“Where would we be without the love of a woman

Standing behind her man even when he’s wrong

The true pure undying love of a woman

Makes a man a fool to think he can make it alone”

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