Having a crush on a friend is probably one of the most complicated situations to be in. Since you can’t be honest with them about your feelings, it can certainly affect your relationship with them. If you are not able to handle this situation thoughtfully, then it might end up costing you their friendship as well.
Getting over someone is hard enough on its own, but when it comes to overcoming a crush like that, it can certainly be pretty demanding. Unlike a usual crush, you can’t isolate yourself from your friend, which makes it so hard. Though, if you take a step-wise approach, then you can certainly overcome it. Read on and get to know about some practical ways to make sure that your relationship remains platonic.
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Why do we develop a crush on a friend?
Too often, I hear from people around me how they have started developing feelings for their friends. Surprisingly, it is quite common to feel a strong sense of emotions for our friends. If you have known someone for a long time, have created numerous memories together, and can easily trust him/her, then it is obvious to see them in a romantic way.
After all, there is a sense of familiarity about them that invites you to take that risk. We know that no matter what, they will never break our heart. We feel protected around them and can trust them in every possible scenario. Since the idea of spending the rest of your life with your best friend seems really convincing, you often let your emotions control you.
How can it affect your friendship?
Ideally, it would entirely depend on your present situation. If your friend is already seeing someone else or are not able to reciprocate the emotions, then the relationship might fall apart. You might end up losing your friend altogether as there would be a sense of awkwardness around them.
I have seen it happening to the people around me all the time. Since they are willing to take the risk, they confess their feelings to their crush. If their friend doesn’t feel the same way, then it costs them the person and even some other mutual friends. Therefore, before you take a leap of faith, make sure that your friend also feels for you the same way. Otherwise, it is better to overcome your crush and focus on your friendship, which would be more important to you.
How to overcome a crush on your friend?
When we have a crush on someone we don’t know, we tend to overcome it quite easily by maintaining some distance from them. Since we have to see or talk to our friend constantly, it makes it really hard for us to overcome our feelings. Nevertheless, the following suggestions will certainly make things better for you.
- Face the reality
First things first – you need to face the truth in order to rationalize your mind. Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment at this time. Take a step back and try to analyze the situation from a different perspective. Too often, we romanticize the entire situation, which changes our mind.
Ask yourself if your friend really feels for you the same way and will they be able to reciprocate your emotions. Will it be worth it? What if you would end up losing your friend? Will it even work out? These are the things you need to ask yourself to have a reality check.
- Talk about it to someone else
Chances are that you won’t be able to reach a conclusion all by yourself. There is nothing wrong with taking some help from a trusted person. Try to reach out to someone who would know you inside out and can give an honest opinion without any judgment.
I would recommend talking to a sibling, a cousin, a friend, or any other trusted individual who won’t be too close to your crush. In this way, you would have a different perspective about it without involving someone else in the middle of the situation.
- Give it some time
Your crush won’t automatically go off on its own. You need to give it some time. Firstly, process it through and acknowledge your emotions. You can’t just hide your feelings your whole life. After accepting your feelings and weighing its consequences, you can decide either to proceed or move past it.
If you have decided to overcome your feelings, then give yourself enough time. Don’t put a deadline to it and give yourself as much time as you want. You won’t feel a significant change in a single day. Though, after a few months, when you will look back, you will realize how far you have come.
- Focus on your friendship
This is the most important thing that you need to consider while overcoming your crush. If things go wrong, then chances are that you might end up losing your friend. This is a risk that you should not be willing to take. To avoid this, focus on the good part of your relationship – that is the strong sense of comradeship that the two of you share.
Act naturally when you are with them and remember about all those embarrassing things that you two have done. You know them inside out and I’m sure there must be some flaws in them (just like all of us). Focus on the flaws rather than the good things and don’t let go of their friendship in the process.
- Date someone else only when you are ready
A lot of people think that one of the best ways to get over a crush is by dating someone else. This is something that should always be avoided. Date someone else only when you are ready. Not only will it be bad for you, it won’t be right for the other person as well. It will only complicate things and you might end up regretting it altogether.
Though, if you think you have moved past your crush and are ready to explore things, then there is no harm in taking things ahead with someone else.
- Distract yourself
You need to remind yourself that there are so many things to do and places to explore that are bigger than your crush (or even your heartbreak). Plan a vacation or start working on your passion. Go out to meet your other friends and talk to your family. Spend more time with the people you love and care about so that you can distract yourself from this feeling.
One of the best ways to do this is by working on your passion. In this way, you would be able to work on something constructive while distracting your mind as well. Just be sure that in the process, you won’t suppress your emotions. Stay true to what you are feeling, but at the same time, accept the fact that there is so much more in this world than a single person.
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- Avoid social media stalking
We all have been guilty of falling into this trap. Too often, we try to let social media validation fill a void in our life. You might already be all over your friend’s social media profiles. If you would keep stalking them on social media, then chances are that you won’t be able to get over them. If you can’t stop yourself, then simply ditch social media for a few days and you would certainly be able to invest your energy elsewhere.
- Spend some time on your own
A lot of times, we fall for our friends because we are accustomed to having them by our side. Since the thought of being on our own scares us, we tend to find comfort in our friends. In order to move past this feeling, you need to be comfortable with solitude. Spend some time on your own or even go on a solo trip. This will help you know yourself and you would be able to distance yourself from your crush.
- Don’t be jealous of their partner
If your friend is already dating someone, then you might get jealous of them. This would certainly impact your friendship as well. If they would take things ahead in the future, then it will be harder for you to hang out with them together. Needless to say, it won’t be justified to have bitter feelings for someone just because they are dating your friend. Get to know them and calm yourself whenever you think you are getting jealous.
- Distance yourself for a while
Consider this as your last resort. If nothing else is working out, then simply distance yourself from them for a while. Instead of disappearing out of the blue, have an honest conversation with them. Let them know about your feelings and why it is important for you to distance yourself from them for a few days. Once you have overcome your emotions, you can get in touch with them again. Though, when you are doing this, make sure that you value their opinion and that they won’t be hurt in the process.
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I’m sure that after following these suggestions, you would be able to overcome your crush on a friend. It might not be the easiest thing to do and you would be tempted to take this risk as well. Sooner or later, you need to ask yourself how valuable their friendship is for you. Give it some time and don’t lose the precious bond you have with them. You can do it – one day at a time.
Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License