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10 essential tips on how to be a nice guy and still win the girl’s love

So you think all girls want bad boys? Well, that might be true for some. But as a guy, you should know that all most women want is just to date and settle down with a nice guy. Someone with warmth, compassion, love, and respect for others around him, including women. It shows when you’re a nice guy, and it pays off too. Here’s what you genuinely nice gentlemen should do to win the girl’s heart.

1. You need to listen, but no one wants a doormat

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Yes, women like good listeners, and the woman you want to date will definitely appreciate you if you lend an ear when she needs to rant and/or vent. That does not mean that you have to make her feel as if her every wish will be your command. Girls want partners who can listen to her AND give their opinion. You can’t be nodding yes to everything she says.

2. Girls love confidence but hate arrogance


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There is a fine line between arrogance and confidence. A man who is confident about who he is and what he does is a turn on, but arrogance is never ever attractive.

3. Be there for her, but make sure you’re not being used

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Yes, you’re a nice guy and you will be there for her no matter what. That does not mean that you’re an object to be used only when needed and cast off when inconvenient. You may be her 2 AM companion but has she ever given you her shoulder to lean on? Is she intentionally using you, with no intentions of ever reciprocating your feelings? In essence, is she limiting you to the dreaded ‘friendzone.’ Make sure you’re winning her love, not just her attention.

Suggested read: How to get out of the dreaded friendzone

4. Don’t whine when your viewpoints don’t match, discuss

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The girl of your dreams, the one whose heart you want to win, may not agree with you on certain things. And that should not be a problem. Put your point across without being whiny or aggressive about it. Girls like guys who can stand by what they say, without being overly forceful or acting like a child who lost his candy. Remember, you can be firm and say what you have to without being a jerk.

5. She loves compliments, but baseless flattery won’t get you anywhere

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She will love it if you make mental notes on what she is genuinely good at, and compliment her at the right moment. General statements like, “You’re beautiful, and your hair is gorgeous,” might get her to smile the first few times, but she will catch on soon and all the flattery will fall flat. Genuine compliments work, meaningless flattery doesn’t.

6. You win if you’re sensitive, but howling at the drop of a hat is so not needed

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If you’re both bawling your eyes out when you see a sad movie, how will you give her a shoulder to cry on? Most women are tuned to react emotionally to situations, but men are not. Women do ask their guys to show their concern by being caring and sensitive, but unless you want her to run away – in the opposite direction, don’t get upset over every little thing.

7. Be in control, but not pushy

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No one likes control freak-esque, pushy people who go to great lengths to get what they want, exactly the way they like it. Yes, control over how things go is good, because sloppiness never helps. But do suppress the control freak in you when you plan to hang out with her.

Suggested read: What are the things that men do that annoy women no end

8. Don’t be the douche that assumes he knows what she likes/wants

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What do girls want? A nice guy who takes interest in what she likes and dislikes. Not a douche who likes to assume what she likes and dislikes. Yes, you might guess what she would want when you go out for dinner, but that doesn’t mean you need to order for her before she attempts to open her mouth. That certainly won’t impress her. Instead, ask or suggest. Or even playfully tell her that you can guess what she might want. This shows her that you care enough to be aware of her meal choices AND you will not speak for her when not needed.

Suggested read: Why are women turned off by nice guys?

9. Don’t overdo the niceness

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If you’re genuinely a nice guy, you will not need to pretend. Don’t intentionally play the “nice guy” role in front of her, and start being not-so nice once her back is turned. If something about her irritates you, tell her instead of complaining about it to someone else. No girl likes Mr. Perfecto. That’s why it’s okay to be angry or upset with her at times – it only shows her that you’re human.

10. Know when it’s not worth it

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You should know when your relationship is a one-way street. If you care for a girl, even love her, you will want to win her heart and give it all you can. However, it’s time to move on if your love is unrequited. Loving her with nothing to show for in return, is in no way good for your mental strength in the long run.

Yes, people do fall in love, but being loved back is not a prerequisite. It’s completely okay to woo someone who seems disinterested, and it’s equally okay to move on if you feel the relationship is not moving. Neither of you were wrong; you are just perhaps wrong for each other. Love happens, hearts break, and love happens again. That does not mean you stop being a nice guy, does it?

Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Article Name
How to be a nice guy and still get the girl in the end
'Nice guys finish last' - isn't always true. Here are 10 essential tips on how to be a nice guy and still get the girl in the end.
Anjee Bhatia

Anjee Bhatia

I am a freelance writer and content developer. I started writing when I was in school, and have not turned back since. When not writing, I like to call myself a baker and chocolate maker. I also tend to drown myself in hot cups of coffee, and can never own too many books. 'The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.' by Muriel Rukeyser is one of my favorite quotes.