So you have a crush on someone lately, but you wimp out each time you want to converse with them? Well, it doesn’t sound new to me! The first thing you need to realize is that everyone goes through this. It is the fear of rejection and of saying something really stupid that scares us away from making the first move.
Well, worry no more! Let me tell you this; your chances aren’t as bleak as you think, my friend! Only if you don’t do anything, your chances of being friends with them will remain zero. We don’t want that, do we? Keeping this in mind, let’s skim through the following 12 points that will teach you how to talk to your crush without being crushed! 😉
Suggested read: The complete guide on how to talk to a girl you like
1. Prepare well!
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Before you go over and talk to them, put in some effort. Preparation is always a pre-requisite. The people who invest time and proper thought into winning over their crush generally have a better chance at it.
However, there is a fine line between being prepared and being creepily so! Everyone likes a little extra attention, but you don’t want to come across as a creepy stalker, do you? They might find it a little disturbing that you have been thinking and dreaming about them every waking second for the past one week! Though that is true, try to conceal the fact, if you know what I mean.
Before you go up to talk to them, spend an hour or two to relax yourself. Take a few deep breaths. Let your body go limp. This certainly is the first step in your quest of how to talk to your crush!
2. Reflect before you speak!
You cannot do away with your anxieties, altogether, I know, but consider taking a few moments to mull over your options. Practice in front of a mirror before you actually approach your crush. This helps you do away with the chances of an awkward silence. If making your first impression on them is important, you need to take some time out and try to get over your apprehensions.
Rehearsing in front of the mirror also helps you to make certain that you know what you will be talking to your crush about. However, make it look natural and effortless, not practiced. The secret to this, strangely, is to prepare harder!
Try to have fun with this whole ‘talking to your crush for the first time’ thingy. I don’t mean you cannot have a serious conversation with them, but also try to be humorous so that you make them laugh (in a good way)!
3. Background check!
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Knowing how to talk to your crush requires you to put in some effort to know a little bit about them. Take some time out to find out about the pictures they share on social media; the kind of food they like; the movies they love watching; the kind of music they are into, etc., Knowing these details will come in handy when you try to break the ice between the two of you. You could begin by saying something along the lines of: “Have you watched this movie (obviously they have!)?” Or, “My friends and I are going out bowling today. If you are up for it, join in.”
4. Boost your self-confidence
And devise innovative ways to do the same. The fear of rejection is what shames us away from speaking with our crush. Don’t allow that to happen. You cannot let your confidence get swayed by just one person, that too a stranger! C’mon, you know better!
You can only master these tips on how to talk to your crush if you build your confidence. A positive person is more likely to come across as attractive to the other. Remember one thing: Even if things don’t go as planned, this is not the end of the world. What is important is that you take the first step, because who knows it might also work out great!
Here’s a lesser known trick to enhance your self-assurance: Look at your Facebook wall for about 3 minutes. It is backed by research, guys!
5. Make it personal!
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When you approach your crush for the first time, try to be on your own. Interacting on a personal level must be done in a casual fashion and not with too many people, who will only distract you. Now, the middle of the dance floor isn’t one of the best places to initiate a conversation, is it?!
A cafeteria during lunch time sounds perfect to me. Ask your crush if you can take the seat next to them and then try to strike up a conversation. A party also seems like a good place to begin a tête-à-tête. Keep it honest. Keep it simple. Talking to your crush through your mutual friends might be a clichéd way of going about things; however, it is the easiest and one of the most effective.
Suggested read: 14 things to talk about with a guy to keep him interested
6. Ask questions
Get your crush to talk to you about themselves. Try and ask them thought-provoking questions; questions that begin with a “why” or a “how” are typically the best to ensure a lengthy conversation. You need to avoid questions that will be followed either by a “yes” or a “no”. These are conversation killers, as we like to call them. “Did you go to high school in a different city?” “How is it being away from home?” With these questions coming to your rescue, your crush is sure to open up a little more.
You can also ask them about their background. Ask them, “What do your parents do?” “Where did you grow up?” “What are your interests?” Trust us, people love talking about themselves!
Also, do interject occasionally. For instance, if your crush is indulging in a long story, ask a few questions in between to show that you are genuinely interested and also to help them continue with it. However, when you begin speaking about yourself, keep it simple and short, so that you send across a message to your crush that you are not full of yourself.
7. Body language
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Body language needs to be paid attention to. Sometimes it says way more than you will ever say loudly! Pay extra attention to whether or not you make eye contact. This is essential if you want to convey to your crush that you are interested in them and what they say. Also, face in their direction. Smile a lot. Everyone loves a happy person. Laugh at the jokes they make. Try your best in order to humor your crush.
8. Avoid pickup lines!
This is an absolute NO-NO! They are cheesy, and they most certainly, don’t work. Also, try not to take yourself way too seriously. Usually, when we talk to our crush for the first time, we get all flushed and tend to go insane. That’s normal, we understand. But this will only cause you to do stupid stuff. Don’t say something like, “I cannot find words to describe how beautiful you are,” when you talk to your crush for the first time. I know you want to say that to them badly. But don’t!
9. Ask them out*
*Only if you think the conversation is going really well.
This can be from something as small as a few minutes at lunch in the cafeteria to a real date, like a movie date or a dinner date. You should take the plunge depending solely on two things: How confident you feel and how comfortable they look.
10. Be conscious of the situation!
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When you try to initiate conversation for the first time, don’t expect a warm reception. There are high chances that your crush will look bored or disengaged or even annoyed at the interruption. It could also be that they are having a bad day or have something on their mind that is bugging them. If you notice that their annoyance it getting heightened, excuse yourself politely. You can make a quick escape too. There is always another day!
11. Be genuine, at all times!
Avoid looking too desperate. You are only trying to engage in a casual conversation with your crush. There is no need to dazzle them with your wit! Seeming too desperate is unappealing. More than what you say, try to hear your crush out, genuinely. This will strengthen the bond between the two of you. With the fear of sounding repetitive, we would love to reiterate that please avoid pickup lines. Don’t try to impress or boast since that will not help you build a strong connection.
Suggested read: 10 simple ways to make small talk work for your on a date
12. Handle rejection smartly
If your crush does not feel the same way as you feel about them, which can be a possibility, handle rejection calmly. If this is the case, the two of you can still be friends, and who knows what will happen in the future, right? So, if a romantic relationship isn’t likely, you should accept it smartly. Just take this in your stride, and move on!
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