So after spending several years with my boyfriend, I have discovered that he is an out and out mama’s boy after which I provided you with 11 telltale signs your boyfriend is a mama’s boy. If you have found yourself nodding vigorously to most of the points that I have put on their based on firsthand experience, then you must be wondering what exactly to do about it.
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Here is everything you need to know about dealing with a mama’s boy after you start dating one.
1. Make sure you know how you feel about the situation
It is completely understandable if you are annoyed and slightly overwhelmed with your boyfriend’s mother and her constant presence in your life. It can be quite intimidating and claustrophobic (again, no one is judging). However, someone eventually has to break the bubble for your boyfriend, and from the position of the “other” woman in his life, there is very little chance that this revelation will go down well with him or his mother. However, it is necessary that you tell him how you feel, so that no resentment builds in your relationship.
2. Do not try to compete with his mother
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Because the more you try to become numero uno in his eyes, the more threatened his mother is likely to feel, and the more distant he is likely to grow from you. This poisons the relationship between all three of you, so it is best if you let things pan out by themselves instead of trying to overdo yourself to win the affection race.
3. Make sure you know what you two want from the relationship
Sometimes, it so happens that your boyfriend loves you because he thinks you are exactly like his mother. Talk it out with him and make sure that there is no such misconception in his mind, and that he does expect you to behave like her in her absence.
Suggested read: 8 compelling reasons to marry a mama’s boy
4. Set boundaries for your boyfriend
As his girlfriend, you get this much authority which you can exercise judiciously over him. This is one of the most effective ways to speed up the process of growing out of his pre-pubescent love for his mother. Set realistic boundaries like what information you would and would not like revealed to his mum, the number of times she can visit, etc.
5. The last thing you want to do is threaten him
The moment you threaten him, you become the evil witch that is trying to create a wedge between mother and son, which is something you definitely don’t want to be. In order to keep things simple, work towards a stage where you can persuade him to make decisions by himself and be independent of her, rather than force him to stay away from her.
6. Spend time with his mother
Whether you want to treat this like a trick or not is up to you. Spending time with your boyfriend’s mother will establish good relations between the two of you, and she will also cease to feel threatened by your presence, and neither will your boyfriend crave for her company all the time.
7. Do not get too attached to your boyfriend right from the start
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It does well to know that dating a mama’s boy is no easy task. It almost always inevitably starts off as a competition between the two most important women in his life, and we all know who is going to lose out should the battle get bitter. During the stage when you are trying to figure out the extent of his attachment to his mummy, it is best if you prevent your heart from fluttering too much, because heartbreak is never an impossible future in such a situation.
Albeit dating a mama’s boy is hard, as long you hold you own, and do not try to viciously eliminate his mother from his life, things are likely to work out. Plus, there are always the perks of having a man who knows how to treat his women right, because after all, he has learnt from the best.
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