Yes, we fought again!
My boyfriend and I!
And I’m so mad at him – I have never been this mad ever before!
What was the fight about – umm, something about how his ‘k’ replies don’t make the cut for being a ‘REPLY,’ k?
And how his makeup responses for the same are also monosyllables, one-word bullshit responses, that fall in the same sh*tty category!
And how he takes years, nah… centuries to reply!
Yadda yadda yadda… I think it ended with how he liked that b**ch’s profile picture on Instagram but changed his own to one in which I am invisible!
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But wait – why am I telling you about it – you have been there, right?
The I’m so mad I could blast you right against the wall by emitting flames phase?
Then, you’d sure relate. Coz right now, my brain’s going:
1. I wonder what he does with all the time he saves by typing a ‘k’ or some other crappy response that is equally short and meaningless!
2. What else – must be ogling at more pictures of that Instagram bimbo!
3. Plus, she doesn’t even look that hot!
4. Maybe I should check out her pictures!
5. OMG, he has liked ten more – what sort of trickery is this!
6. He knows I am mad and here he is on a bimbo-picking cyberspree!
7. Fine! I am going to take him out of my profile picture too…
8. …and put one in which I look like the younger sister of Karlie Kloss!
9. That will teach him to either make it up to me or break up with me before sending me one of his infernal ‘k’s!
10. I hope he makes up though…
11. I mean, how hard is it to just pick up the phone and type sorry or simply call for a few?
12. He could use the pretext of picking up the sock he left here last night!
13. What if he doesn’t call or text…
14. I am not going to call him…
15. But maybe I should…
16. No, he did a double take of the girl with implants in the café the other day…
17. And when I called him out, told me he was checking out the traffic…
18. Yeah, right!
19. <to the phone> Why don’t you flash his number and name, damnit!
20. What are you savin’ up the battery for – a call from Ryan Gosling, huh? Doofus!
21. I’m mad at you too…<flings the phone at the wall>
22. Oh no, please don’t break… k… he might call…
23. Why isn’t the dumba*s calling?
24. What could keep him so busy, huh?
25. Has his ex gotten in touch with him?
26. Nah, they haven’t spoken for five years – and she’s in SF.
27. But that’s on Earth, right? Damn you, Internet!
28. And I thought this would be our LAST fight!
29. I should send screenshots to my bff – she will know if he’s ever going to call back…
30. And send…
31. <long wait of five seconds>
32. No, I am not going to that party to distract myself, you fool… tell me he will call me… that’s what I NEED to hear…
33. What am I supposed to do with all this time, huh?
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34. I can’t get ahead on the show we’re watching together on NetFlix!
35. I can’t take another selfie – coz storage – damn, screenshots!
36. I don’t want to eat solo – and ooh – I should stop scarfing down peanut butter…
37. I still remember how he said ‘okay’ last week when I said I should lose three pounds…
38. Which boyfriend says ‘okay’ to that!!!
39. And that too, when he didn’t even look up from his phone…
40. Must be his ‘girl friends’ on Snapchat…
41. Why does he even have to be friends with ‘girls’ on Snapchat. Because, why?
42. And then, when I got a li’l miffed, he used that.
43. And then blamed it on the blood-tap that leaks from me every month – yeah, coz that explains why I am angry at your a**hole ways!
44. And when his ‘unsolicited “practical” relationship advice’ didn’t quite make me smile, he took the ‘I’m fine’ to mean I was actually fine…
45. Really? What is this – kindergarten?
46. And then, when I actually am explaining why I am not fine… he’s staring at my b**bs…
47. I mean, thanks hon, it’s flattering, but could ya pick your moments, huh?
48. And right when I actually got him to look me in the eye, ting tong – pizza delivery… <sigh! shakes head>
49. I don’t even know why – why can’t he just…<beep>
50. <reads message> ‘I am sorry babe, love ya’ … Yeah, alright – he annoys me but I love him…
Has your boyfriend pushed you to the I’m so mad limit? Tell us all about it. There’s a comments section right below.
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