This is a crazier and more carefree version of the 30-day challenge for single women, so don’t expect too much of it. Although, it could be excruciatingly difficult to check all 30 in a month, it won’t harm you to give it a try. So get ready, all you single guys, we are going to have more than FUN!
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
1. Let’s kick off the first day with something relatively difficult. 25 push-ups; if you can’t do a proper push-up, keep trying just to perfect one, and then take it from there.
2. If you’re a lazy bum like 70% of the population, your bike might be just sitting gathering dust. Take it out, attach a mileage counter to it, and set aside a good 3 hours for it. Your target should be 25 miles, or 40.2 kilometers (sounds ridiculous at first, but don’t let that demotivate you).
3. Begin the C25K challenge (not constrained to a single day). C25K is an app that lets you follow a moderately strict training regimen and consists of an 8 week program to slowly build up your endurance and pain tolerance. Get proper shoes suitable for your foot-type so you don’t injure yourself (which is quite possible if you’ve been in a sedentary state for a while, but that’s part of the challenge), just stay the hell away from Achilles Tendonitis – an inflammation of your Achilles tendon. For this challenge, it is highly advisable to make it to Week 3. Beyond that, it’s up to you.
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4. Begin learning to swim, and if you haven’t already, just be ready for this challenge. When you’re up for it, do 1200 yards (ask your trainers, they’ll give you an approximate number of laps). If you’re able to do this, you’ll get out of the water with a sore body, and you’ll have the best sleep in a long while.
5. Rest the whole day, you know you deserve it. (and the couch potato in me can relate)
Work hard, play hard- probably one of the stupidest quotes to describe ‘masculinity,’ but it applies here.
6. Set aside some money, and get one of your closest friends drunk. When they refuse or hesitate, force another glass on them. Choose someone with preferably lower tolerance, when it comes to being intoxicated. The results are most amusing, especially when you can record it for other people to see :3
7. Let them do the same with you the next day, bearing in mind that they themselves don’t get drunk. Payback!
8. Make a dummy email-id. Begin a thread on 4chan, preferably /pol/ or /b/, explaining how and why you’re a hardcore feminist. You can exaggerate as much as you want, you’ll be under a veil of anonymity. So make up the most ridiculous stories and exaggerate about how not being a feminist is automatically being sexist. Don’t forget to add your email to the end of the post. Let the death threats start rolling in!
9. Go on Tumblr, and use the same dummy email-id. Make a post about how you’re not a feminist and how you think men are superior in every single way, and how ideas like the ‘wage gap’ and the ‘patriarchy’ are just myths. Again, you get to exaggerate. Let the death threats start rolling in!
10. Now that you probably have half a hundred people sending death threats, you deserve some good food. Can’t cook? Try a relatively simple spaghetti recipe for absolute beginners (don’t worry if you screw it up, well you actually have to, because you’ll need to finish the dish up on your own later). For men who’ve been cooking a fair bit, or feel they’re up to a harder challenge, try making a special Hyderabadi biryani recipe. Since you’re slightly more experienced, try and come up with an alternative for the prescribed ‘biryani masala’.
11. In case your dish was a disaster, spend some money and have something decent at a nearby fancy restaurant. In case it wasn’t a complete disaster, use the same money to buy anything of your choice.
12. Go on Tinder or any other relevant online dating app/website, and ask random people out on dates (it’s crucial you don’t go out on a ‘date’ with the same person again).
13. First date: Fascinate them with fabricated stories of how you once slit your cat’s throat…or, be as morbid as you can. That’s sure to leave an impression.
14. Second date: Tell them about how you have dead women in your basement, with nothing but extreme conviction in your eyes, and tell them about how you’ve finally met the right person. You’ll be lucky enough if they don’t call the police immediately, which makes this all the more crazy.
15. Third date: Ask them, if they’d like to be “the scabbard to your sword”, while holding something like a butter knife. Don’t miss out on the creepy wide smile. (my thoughts are too morbid, I’m guessing)
Done with stupid dates.
16. This requires some preparation, but is fun all the same. Delete every single message between you and your friend, from their cell phone. Change your contact name to whoever your friend is dating at the moment, and archive/hide and mute their date’s message box/chat. Send them a break up text from your phone. Watch them break, for 5 minutes, after which you explain everything and apologize like a madman before you lose a friend for following some stupid internet challenge on a random click-bait article.
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17. Yin and yang, payback again. You sit in front of your friend, and they get to read out aloud every single ‘corny’ text you’ve sent to the person you once crushed over. Trust me, it requires a lot of mental resolve just to sit through a minute of it.
18. Go get drunk on your own, and return home somehow. It’ll be a total riot if you find yourself on the footpath the next morning, in which case you get brownie points for being an absolute madman.
19. Record a video of yourself twerking to the song below (if you can call it a song), go shameless. Upload it on Facebook so people can slowly unfriend you for your insanity. Rule: Twerk for those ‘buns’ facing the camera for the whole 4 minutes and 29 seconds. Who knows, you might find new admirers.
20. Write a fake blog article on how you’re finally coming out of the closet(you pretend to be homosexual if you’re straight and vice versa), and send your newsfeed in a frenzy.
21. A pretty gender neutral challenge: Write down a list of qualities you want in a future partner. It’s quite possible you won’t make it beyond the first half of the page, but that’s okay. Just make sure you’re satisfied with what you wrote.
22. Carefully analyze what went wrong with your last relationship. It probably won’t be easy, especially if the break-up was relatively recent. You do not want to carry the same baggage into your next relationship, trust me. Unresolved problems are just snakes hiding in the grass waiting to sneak a bite when you’re finally happy and stable.
23. Following up to the previous challenge, it’s quite possible that you’re in a fwb or ‘friends with benefits’ phase at the moment. Stop, while it might seem like it’s helping now, it’s only delaying the real issues for later. One day you’ll need to face the ugly truths, and you’ll lose days of sleep over it. Might as well begin now, and learn to be self-sufficient.
24. Try to be happy. This day depends entirely upon you. Do whatever makes you happy. And trust me, it’s quite the challenge.
25. Read Catcher in the Rye and call everyone a ‘phony’ for the whole day.
26. Listen to Iggy Azalea for a whole day, you might end up doing your nails by the end of the day (which is ok, do send pictures).
27. Watch Locke (2013). It’ll affect you in more ways than you can imagine.
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28. Talk to the person you hate/dislike the most, and constantly try to keep up the conversation till they give up and leave. Yes, it’ll be super creepy, and that’s the challenge.
29. Consider stopping reading click-bait. Seriously, read the good stuff. (just kidding, mine are worth considering)
30. If you haven’t already hopped on the bandwagon, buy the Witcher 3. Get immersed in the lore, visit the beautifully detailed swamps of Velen to the chilling cold and lichen in the southernmost Islands Skellige. Don’t forget to invest time in Gwent! (I just let my geek side out)
If you’re done with day 30, you can go back to your dull lives (which are probably more colorful than mine). 😛 These challenges aim at developing a few interesting habits for all single guys, so make sure to at least give it a try.
Featured image source: Shutterstock