He may not be a real person but he is surely winning the internet, one-forty characters at a time- most times with even less! Meet Pakalu Papito, a guy whose twitter handle has amassed over 850K followers and whose tweets earn over 5K retweets on a minimum!
Pakalu Papito
Image source: Facebook
Wondering what is so special about the guy whose twitter name, according to the urban dictionary, means “the act of crashing a camel into a bridge, and not caring about the consequences derived from the act in any way besides feeling a strong satisfaction from doing so?” Well, well….
Equipped with a brutally honest armory, this man fires hilarious tweets on, well, all topics under the sun – or maybe not – he is, by self-admission, a lazy bum! But he sure knows to string his laziness into words that shall not just leave you in splits, but also split you apart from all the laughter. His camel-loving, self-loathing, self-deprecating, and lone humor may not be a breakthrough in the e-avalanche of the meme-scape but as silly and shallow as it may be, it sure is a refreshing change from the Rajnikanth Vs CID jokes that keep popping in our news feeds ever-so-often.
Suggested read: Katti-Batti’s trailer promises a fun ride of love!
And if you haven’t heard of the man yet, do not worry, we have brought you a yum platter of his most delightful tweets ever.
Disclaimer: We aren’t responsible if these give you an upset stomach. Dig in at your own risk!
1. He gives a lesson in hope 😛
be nice to me i may be hot one day
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 16, 2015
2. I feel you, bro…
how do i put people on mute
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 11, 2015
3. Coz the 3G spot doesn’t get one to the Big-O…
you know what really turns me on? unprotected wifi
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 11, 2015
4. He has his deep moments, though…
*picks up crying baby* it’s fine buddy when u grow up you will learn how to do this on the inside — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 11, 2015
5. And he is helpful..
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 10, 2015
6. High Five!
why fall in love when u can fall back asleep?? — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 9, 2015
7. He has got his Math right…
my face is a 4 my personality is a 6 so basically i’m a 10
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 9, 2015
8. And the PoA too..
*plays hard to get by staying at home and having no contact with anyone* — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 8, 2015
9. We could be BFFs, bro…
last name hungry, first name always
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 8, 2015
10. He offers solutions for global problems too…
stop being rude and start being nude — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 7, 2015
11. Coz he knows to rev up the interest rates…
hey are u a bank because u need to leave me a loan
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 7, 2015
12. And there, he is telepathic too…
dream date: take me to the mall give me $2000 leave — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 7, 2015
13. Papito or Marilyn Monroe?
If u cant handle me moody then u dont get the booty
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 6, 2015
14. Up for decoding, anyone?
i have 3 moods: 1. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2. ??????????????????? 3.?!?!?!!?!!?!?!?!? — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 6, 2015
15. Literally…
sö î hèãrd ÿôū łįkê gùÿś wìth áçćėñtš
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 4, 2015
16. And there’s the fun in the pun again…
the trash goes out more than me — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 4, 2015
17. A cheesy-much dish?
Know what’s on the menu? Me-n-u
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 3, 2015
18. And that’s how the gag lord shows some swag…
just because i hate me doesnt mean u can — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 3, 2015
19. ‘Mirror, mirror on the wall’ brings him back to the humble hall…
me: why am i single me: *sees face* me: oh thats why
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 2, 2015
20. Through the hall, he, then, takes a long stroll…
im a hot mess minus the hot — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 2, 2015
21. And his fitness regime is just like mine…
i was on a diet for a month and all i lost was 30 days
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) June 1, 2015
22. Radical, but possible… 😛
How to set flat stomach: Remove all ur organs — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 31, 2015
23. Kim Kardashian, comments?
I can’t even go to the shop because people think I am Kanye west and want photos with me pic.twitter.com/wCX68iJNsO
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 30, 2015
24. Agree he can read minds, huh?
my favorite outdoor activity is going back inside — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 30, 2015
25. The painkiller – spit the sarcasm out!
sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 30, 2015
26. He teaches us REAL generosity…
today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward local swimming pool. i gave him a glass of water — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 29, 2015
27. Just like I eat one lettuce leaf and get on the weighing scale…
*does 1 sit up* *checks for abs*
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 29, 2015
28. Next time your boss asks for consistence performance… 😛
2014: single 2015: single Consistency is key guys — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 28, 2015
29. Find the deeper ‘time is an illusory concept’ laid bare in Papito-style…
im having one of those unattractive days i mean years
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 27, 2015
30. And my boyfriend, perhaps? 😉 😛
can bob the builder fix my grades — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 27, 2015
31. Death-by-pun??
am i from tennessee? cause i’m the only ten i see
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 27, 2015
32. And now death-by-cute-pun…
does it look like I’ve goat time for your nonsense? pic.twitter.com/zR2SQaMhpr — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 26, 2015
33. Replacing TGIF with TGIT! What, these Tuesdays are yummilicious…
transformation tuesday pic.twitter.com/6ciy9hAWLd
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 26, 2015
34. Okay, let’s call it a tie…
itunes has got it all wrong the hottest single of the year is me — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 26, 2015
35. And that’s the lipstick I’d like to gift some basic b*tches…
this lipstick would look great on you pic.twitter.com/uAyBAVlODU
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 25, 2015
36. The universal struggle…
the problem with rich people is that i am not one — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 24, 2015
37. True that…
people who dont like pizza are people u dont need in ur life
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 23, 2015
38. Coz one needs to go step-by-step…
me: better check my phone for texts from friends me: *checks phone* me: better get some friends — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 21, 2015
39. Realistic fitness goals…
the only 6 pack i need pic.twitter.com/gwvaN8GsJ7
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 16, 2015
40. And that’s how you spark some chemistry…or not…
you must be a combination of copper and tellurium cause you are CuTe — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 16, 2015
41. Facebook, you should list that too…
relationship status: maybe one day
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 15, 2015
42. And here Papito corrects the thesaurus…
yea im skinny my body is covered in skin — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 10, 2015
43. And the best mutual breakup ever…
…
i broke up with my gym we were just not working out
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 6, 2015
44. Every dark cloud has a silver lining, eh?
at least i know nobodys using me for my looks — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) May 3, 2015
45. He gets that beauty is only skin deep…
dont send nudes… send xrays its whats inside that counts
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) April 30, 2015
46. Haha, coz the way to Pakalu’s heart is certainly through his stomach…
aint no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) April 28, 2015
47. The human condition…
wifi : connected me : then fucking act like it
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) April 21, 2015
48. And he has finally unraveled the mystery…
my mom say that everyone has a beautiful side. so i guess im a circle. — pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) April 7, 2015
49. In that case, I guess my parents shoplifted me…
u can only bring sexy back if u have the receipt
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) March 22, 2015
50. And oh, I couldn’t help picking this one from Facebook…
If you found the man funny, punny, gunny or whatever… sorry I ain’t as good as Papito… don’t forget to check out his Twitter handle for more! 😀
Featured image source: Facebook
Facebook
Disqus
Google + 
