You’ve met him and you can’t help but blush about it. You’re in love with someone and things are actually going pretty great! You’ve probably even been together for a while now and everything seems to be going the way you both want to. But when you really like someone (or should I say love?) this much, there comes a time when you have to go up to your parents and tell them you are seeing someone. In fact, one of the biggest problems in every girl’s life is to figure out how to tell your parents you have a boyfriend.
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It’s not the easiest thing to do, especially if your parents are the strict and picky kinds. They’ll have too many expectations – even if they’re the most chilled out people on the planet. There are different kinds of parents really – the kind who always disapprove, the kind who make a big deal out of it, the kind who will lock you in your room because you said ‘boyfriend,’ and the rare kind who’ll invite your boy to have a few drinks. But whatever the case maybe, you owe it to your parents to tell them if you’re seeing someone. Even if you don’t, they’ll probably find out anyway, so might as well just get it over with.
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Here is how to tell your parents you have a boyfriend. (Remember, this is a general guide, which you need to customize based on your intimate knowledge about your parents.)
1. Who to tell?
There is always that one parent that you can be open with more than the other one. So, break the news to the one who is easier to talk to. You can talk to both of them at once, but that might not be such a good idea. Once you talk to the easier parent, you’ll know what kind of reactions you can expect from the other one. But if you talk to them together, they’ll probably team up and gang up on you, as childish as that sounds. Take advice from other family members if you can’t decide on which parent to pick.
2. Timing is important
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This is the key to everything. Picking the right time is of utmost importance because you don’t want your parents to explode. Don’t bother them with this when they’re busy because then they won’t have enough time to talk about it. You would also want to avoid this when they’re in a bad mood. But don’t wait for too long to tell them this. Just make sure everyone is calm and your parents are in a decent mood before you dump this important piece of news on them.
3. Pick a private place
This is another important thing that you need to keep in mind when you’re looking at how to tell your parents you have a boyfriend. You don’t want to tell your parents about your boyfriend while picking up groceries, while they’re driving, or when you are at a relative’s place (unless it works in your favor). Stay away from public spaces – at all costs. Instead, talk to them about this at home, or when you go for a morning run. Just make sure it’s a private scene because you don’t want the whole world to know if this ends up being a fiasco.
It is a very tricky thing to tell your folks that you’re seeing someone. So don’t be brash about it, and take some time to rehearse what you have to say, if you seem to think this helps. Think about what you will say and the tone in which you’ll say it. You need to be confident, so prepare yourself for all the questions that you think they might ask. Write down all your reasons and make sure that they make sense. You can even ask one of your family members to listen to you and give you pointers. It will pay off if you can be prepared, especially if you have the kind of parents that ask too many questions and are over-protective to boot.
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5. Writing helps
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If you’re shy, or rather petrified about talking to your parents, you can always write to them. Sometimes articulating how we feel becomes a little overwhelming, and you might be unable to communicate what you have to say effectively. If this is how you feel, then pen down your thoughts and let your parents read it. Of course, you’ll have to answer their questions later and introduce your boyfriend, but it won’t be all that bad.
6. Give your reasons
When you tell your parents about the boyfriend, they will not want to listen to just how much you love each other. That is never enough for any parent. You need to let them know why they should accept the fact that you’re dating this guy. Tell them that you’re ready to date and be responsible for your own decisions. Handle this in a mature way, and the chances for their approval will soar.
7. Be honest
You need to make sure that everything that you tell them is actually the truth. Of course, there will be a lot of questions that they’ll have after you’ve told them about your boyfriend. ‘What does he do?’ ‘Where is he from?’ ‘What are his plans for the future?’ and many other questions (some of them you probably wouldn’t have even thought of before). If you know a few of the answers are going to disappoint them, don’t resort to lying. Just let them know the truth, because there is a better chance of their approval when there’s honesty, and it will definitely help them trust you and your judgment more.
8. Listen to them
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There is no way that you’ll get away without listening to what your parents think once you’ve told them about the boy. Apart from the various questions, chances are that they’ll want to give you advice as well. They’ll have a thing or two to say about how it might not work out or how you should be careful. They are parents after all; it’s their job to lookout for you and worry about your well-being. So, just listen to them and maybe it’ll help the situation.
When you’re brainstorming on how to tell your parents you have a boyfriend, keep in mind that they will have a few rules and guidelines that they will want you to follow. Most of these include absurd curfews and dating rules that might not make sense to you. Maybe you’re allowed to see him only on the weekends and maybe they are not okay with you dating at all at this point in time; whatever their terms and conditions are, just negotiate it with in a calm and mature manner. Do not, I repeat, do not resort to tantrums or shouting matches, as much as you’d like to indulge in them.
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10. Let’s meet?
Instead of springing your boy at your unsuspecting parents unannounced, talk to them about setting up a meeting. Just invite him over for dinner or maybe you can tell him to meet them for a bit when he’s picking you up for a date. Just make sure that your parents are expecting him. Surprises are not always the best idea when you’re trying to get their approval. So, the best thing you can do is to arrange a peaceful meeting between them, and maybe even add some ground rules for both sides. This way, you’re prepared for every eventuality, and all that’s left is the meeting itself.
It’s obviously not going to be all easy-peasy, but you’ve got to try. It’s easier said than done because some parents can really be difficult to talk with. But you have to try. Just imagine if your boyfriend and parents get along. It might be all awkward at first, but it will definitely get better. Talk to your boyfriend and see what he thinks about it, talk to a friend or a relative who has ‘been there, done that’ or just about anyone who you think can support you in this matter. At the end of the day, your parents will want to see you happy, so they will give their blessing. It’s all about the timing.
So, good luck!
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