When it comes to an ex, there are many feelings one can have. The most common ones are:
While these emotions can be hard to conceal at all times, it’s tricky when you bump into an ex unexpectedly. Let’s be practical; if you live on the same planet as them, you are bound to run into them at some point or the other! You might wish you would never have to, but who can tell, no? You need to be prepared if this ever happens.
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If you’re (un)lucky, you could never see them again. At face value, running into an ex doesn’t seem like a big deal. However, it totally depends on how it ended between the two of you. So, if you’ve been mature about things, you have nothing to worry about. But, if you did stupid things or weren’t the one to break it off, you probably will feel the pinch when you see them again.
No matter how you feel about your ex, it will always be awkward to face them again considering your past and the feelings you had for them once upon a time. Apart from breaking their head, you could feel like patching up or simply get nostalgic. Irrespective of what feeling crops up, here are a few things to keep in mind when running into your ex might be a strong possibility.
1. Don’t hesitate to greet them
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You may want to be invisible or simply melt and be one with the earth you stand on. Whatever you feel, don’t shy away and pretend not to notice them or worse, ignore them. It will only make it worse for you. Be the first one to greet them. That will help break the ice and make it, uh, less awkward for you both.
2. Ascertain what exactly you feel
Running into your ex will bring out a lot of feelings, because at one point, you did share a relationship with each other. It’s normal to have some residual feelings left behind from your time together. While some may be good, some may remind you of the bitter past. Depending on what emotion you feel, you must act accordingly. If the past hasn’t been great, you can simply avoid them; but on the other hand, if you want to rekindle your relationship, then maybe you can hang around a little more and give it another try!
3. Don’t lose control
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Whatever you are feeling, consider it to be temporary. Whether you want to strangle them or simply woo them again, or hide in a corner. Don’t emote and create a scene. Hold yourself together and behave like an adult.
4. Be mature
Doesn’t matter what happened between you two. Don’t take digs at each other, don’t make the other person jealous, don’t act stupid, or say something ridiculous. Act like a mature person and deal with your ex gracefully. Maybe you found it hard to forgive them, but that doesn’t mean you now get your chance to avenge all those suppressed feelings.
5. Prepare yourself
Just like any other experience, running into your ex can be tricky. You will have to mentally prepare yourself for that day. Although you may never meet them again, or probably meet them often because you live in the same neighborhood, you need to mentally prepare yourself in advance. Think of things you must absolutely not say; think ahead of the things that are alright to be said. Make a mental list so you’re prepared.
6. Get the hints
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If they are avoiding you, making sarcastic remarks or simply flirting with you, get the hints! They either don’t want anything to do with you or are interested in you again. Sometimes meeting an ex can rekindle feelings of erstwhile love and passion. But it all depends on how the person is portraying their feelings. Perhaps they don’t feel anything at all. So act accordingly. Don’t get carried away.
7. Be confident
Whatever history you both share, be confident when it comes to meeting them again. You may be shaking like a leaf inside, or are disgusted at the sight of your ex. Don’t let these emotions overtake you; get your confident self out and play it smooth. After all, they are someone you knew once upon a time. They aren’t superior to you in anyway; so don’t get nervous, bring out your best self and deal with them.
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8. Apologize if you have to
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Well, if you didn’t get a chance to break it off gracefully in the past, now is your chance. Take this opportunity to apologize to your ex. Tell them you are over it and make them feel at ease. Sometimes, it’s easier to talk about things after they have happened, since you have had enough time to reflect. Use this opportunity to apologize to them if you didn’t get a chance to do it earlier.
9. Stay in touch
That’s how adults behave. Stay in touch with them if you like. It’s always nice to see what you don’t miss. 😉 But, you may want to be careful about how this should go. Staying in touch with an ex can be risky if you have already moved on with another person. Your current partner may or may not approve of it. So be mindful about all these things and then make a choice. You don’t have to necessarily stay in touch just for the heck of it.
10. Don’t reveal too much
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Your ex needn’t know every single detail of your life now that you ran into them. Save the details for later, or maybe never! When you give out too many details, you may be giving the wrong signals to them. Maybe they aren’t interested about your conquests after you ditched them, or who you dated after them. Keep your success story to yourself unless you’ve been specifically asked about it. Also, you don’t have to tell your ex about how you feel now, now that you both are no longer together. That could be an extremely boring conversation.
11. Don’t think about what could have been
There’s no point wondering and wishing for something that isn’t in your life. Be happy with what you have. Yes, life could have been different with your ex in the picture, but it’s fine even in their absence. So stop worrying and thinking about what could have been. Remember, everything happens for a reason.
12. Keep it warm and simple
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Don’t say unnecessary things and complicate it for everyone. Maybe your ex has moved on, or maybe not. Don’t over-evaluate things and make it complex for the both of you. Keep it simple, limit the conversations, know where to stop, and don’t say ridiculous things even if you’re tempted to! Neither give them the cold shoulder nor simply dismiss them completely. Respect them for the relationship you had once upon a time.
13. Don’t bring up the dirty details
Well, as tempted as you may be, do not dig up the past and humiliate your ex. Whether you have some crazy bedroom stories or hilarious experiences (that are now embarrassing), don’t bring them up now. It’s all over. You could reminisce about it, but if your ex has moved on already, you may not want their current partner to feel awkward listening to your stories together. That would amount to loose talk, so don’t do it.
14. Let it not linger
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Grow up; let this unexpected meeting not disrupt your life. Stop thinking about it even after it has happened. Don’t let your ex linger in your thoughts or physically around you. You must know when and where to draw the line. Unless you desperately want to get back with them, you must not try your crazy stunts on them. Stop lingering around them or let them linger around you if you don’t want to.
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15. Keep your partner aware
If you have moved on already, you may want to keep your partner updated about your rendezvous or your past history. This way, you are maintaining a clean sheet and it won’t be weird later on when your current partner finds out about your bumping into your ex. In a healthy relationship, you and your partner shouldn’t have to hide anything. Also, your partner will understand how you feel about your ex. So, let your partner know what you feel or think. It’s best to keep it this way.
Running into your ex is probably not that bad. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? You need to act like a grown up and not let it affect your life. Whatever you feel, will eventually die down, and there is a reason that your ex is now an ex. So, don’t let your past destroy your present or your future.
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