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This Is Where You Learn How To Get Over An Ex FOR REAL

Sorry if I struck your weakest chord once again, but this is important. Relationships are as fragile as mirror cracks. You give your whole self, your heart to someone,and it breaks into a thousand invisible shattering pieces within a span of an hour. You have called it off. You are no longer able to continue your relationship,and decide to take a break mutually. Once broken, it’s very hard to mend.  Thus begins, all the emotional turmoil which hits you like a colossal wave, and takes you on a never-ending journey of pain and disappointment. Your tears don’t dry up and you feel upset. Dusky grey clouds loom over your life, and nothing feels alright; that is when it hits you: it’s finally over.

Suggested read: 7 Real Reasons Why Rebound Sex Won’t Help You Get Over Your Ex

Relationships are such make-and-break deals; they come with expiry dates shorter than packaged goods.A head strong, reasonable person will be okay with it – the world is moving fast and so are we. Our experiences don’t last long, but teach us more than ever. However, sometimes,serious breakups are capable of crushing even the iron-willed. So the question that comes now is – How do we hold ourselves?What do we do next? Is there anything productive to learn from it?

Search for the answers within yourself. You’ll see how nothing is worse and more important than your own happiness.

Let me help you through the ways on how to get over an ex in this guide.

  1. Let it go

woman sitting alone_New_Love_Times

Image source:  Google, copyright-free image, under Creative Commons License 

Break ups suck. You don’t need me to tell you that. But the harshest truth is always better than the kindest lie. I understand that it takes time, I’ve been there myself. But trust me, acceptance is the biggest key to your survival,and it will come gradually. Look around. You are not the only one to have undergone a breakup. So it’s okay. Take deep breaths and let it settle in. I know it’s hard, I know it’s bad, but still it’s okay. Your life doesn’t end here. Don’t break over the one disaster in your life. This is just one of the many blows that life offers every now and then, in settlements. So take it as a challenge and learn to leave parts of you, you don’t need, behind.

  1. Remove all the distractions

You should take all the time you need to grieve. It is important to let yourself feel sad. Don’t bottle up your emotions. Obviously, lean over to your friends and closest ones for support. We all know time is the biggest healer. If you are curious on how to get over an ex, then know that the solution won’t pop up immediately, just after a day or two of your breakup. So give it some time as well as space.

Cry, scream and let your brain deal with the emotional upheaval and let loseyou’re your pent up feelings. Pretending to be okay when you are not will have the same results as a pressure cooker.

  1. Reflect on where you went wrong

woman thinking_New_Love_Times

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License 

No. I am not asking you to think about him all day and night. But take an honest look at your past relationship,and try to find out how you could have done it better. This is where the healing happens. With the failure of every relationship, it’s important to reflect on your own part in the making and breaking of it. This is where you have to frankly open up to your own self and confess how you contributed to its downfall. You are always the better judge of your own decisions.You can either talk to your parents or friends. Go to a therapist if you think you cannot get over him how much you try.  Give yourself the chance to learn the ideals of any relationship from your present pain. It is tough, but not impossible.

  1. When music speaks to our soul

You are doing fine and then boom, “Your” song plays loud through your headphones and you’re weeping on the crowded train in rush hour. Save yourself from such embarrassment and unwelcome memories. Create a break up hit-list of songs for your wrecked soul. Music will calm your anxious heart. Music doesn’t let you feel lonely. Music speaks the language of the heart. Music is the best healer of a breakup. This doesn’t mean cutting yourself from the rest of the world. Rather dip in the lyrics of a soulful number and let the bad memories of your previous relationship fade away.

Suggested read: 8 Tips On How To Get Your Ex-boyfriend Back

  1. Bitch it out with your girlfriend

friends with benefits_new_love_times

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License 

Yes. Your very first phone call after your breakup with your partner should be to your girlfriend. I remember having called my closest pal sometime around 2 at night after my breakup, and it was the best conversation we had that day. If you’re distanced from one person, then you immediately build a passionate, heartfelt relationshipanother. The breakup scene is where your best friend steps in. Go and stay over at her place. Talk to her over ice-cream and a good movie. Flush all his pictures down the toilet or burn them. Make it a night to remember.

So what are you waiting for? Go call her up at once.

  1. Gofor a long trip

Go to the beachside or the mountains, whichever you prefer. Stepping outside your home will freshen up your mind. You may start feeling claustrophobic in the city. Your room may be that dense scare-house that always reminds you of him.Decide on a plan and finalise your plane tickets. Solo trips are the most beneficial. Once on a trip, you start learning to reflect on yourself and identifying the variety and grace of this world. Solo trips make you realise how all your problems are petty in front of the incomparable beauty and the enormity of Mother Nature.Or else take a family trip and spend quality time with them.

Explore the corners, ride through the town, get sun-kissed and let your hair down in the water. Such trips help you rediscover a new and a better moulded “you”.

  1. Start focusing on bettering yourself

yoga pose_New_Love_Times

Image source: Shutterstock 

How to get over an ex? If you ask me, then I’ll advice you to improve on your own life. A breakup is a break thing of something that had once made us whole and complete. Focusing on your life goals will help you get over him fast and also get a better perspective of life. Consider that your relationship was a beautiful learning experience. Take it positively and put it to practice. Think about doing well in life without him. Love will come and go but the real love will stay. With all your friends and family beside you, think of recreating a better person living the most winsome life. Look after your career and grow high. We all know you can do it.

  1. Stop stalking him

BLOCK HIM on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat and from the entire social media platform. Wipe the slate clean. Control all your temptations of going back and looking at his pictures, how happy he is with life or what he is up to. Remove your entireurge to go snooping through his pages. It will do you no good. You will keep on obsessing over him and die to see how well he looks in a Valencia filter. Take the pledge to yourself that you won’t attempt to follow him anywhere. Take it slowly and you’ll see how you’ve won over yourself. Make a list of all the happy things you do every day and post them on social media (suppose you are one crazy instragrammer). Don’t get busy writing sad poems. Live everyday as if it is your last. And stay happy.

  1. Forgive yourself and the other

woman thinking_New_Love_Times

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License 

It is inevitable that on bad days you will run back to your past. Nothing’s wrong in that if you ask me. But never hold yourself solely responsible for the worse that has slid down out of your relationship. It’s true, when you invest your heart and soul into something, coming out of it is a lengthy, long, time consuming process. All the memories cannot simply vanish overnight. It is okay only if you promise to walk out of it soon enough. You are not the only one accountable for your breakup. Sometimes circumstances can also lead to one. Hold your ground and insist upon knowing the reason for your breakup. You both are compelled to give your own causes behind it. Otherwise you’ll never find your closure.

Suggested read: What To Do When Your Ex Texts You Out Of The Blue

  1. Remove him from your mind

Harboring on a rotten infection is dangerous for the entire body. Know when to peel the band-aid off. Don’t devote your labour, energy and effort into things that dissatisfy you. Distancing yourself from the source of the trauma will enable you to get over your ex faster. Your memories will haunt and chase you to the end road, like anything toxic does. But if you set your mind on letting it go, it can never ever latch itself to your soul. Love doesn’t come in limited supplies. There is an entire reservoir from which love will come to you in ample amounts throughout your life and it won’t run out eventually. Never let the noxious elements of a breakup hamper your self, your body, your mind and your life.

I just hope that by this time, the guide on how to get over your ex has helped you understand why it is dangerous to consistently mull over your ex and the breakup.  I hope that you aren’t in the unhappy, sorrowful zone any more. No matter how much the past haunts you, you will have to learn to let it go steadily. Also don’t rush into anything new. Rebound sex or a fling will hamper both your mind and body. Being single is a welcoming pleasure and the perks that come with it are the best. So, let us live this phase successfully and crop out all the rest.

Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License 

Article Name
The Simplest Guide On How To Get Over An Ex
Breakups are tough. But not impossible to survive. Check out this realistic guide on how to get over an ex, and also become the best version of yourself in the process.
Palomi Dey Sarkar

Palomi Dey Sarkar

A writer. A feminist. A tea connoisseur. I love watching dog videos most of the time while pretending to be useful. Words give me the space to breathe, and writing heals my soul. Words untie my feeling of displeasure towards this complicated world and writing provides catharsis. Yet I keep on looking for a tinge of magic everywhere. I crack silly jokes while my friends laugh at my madness. That is my labor of love.