Bragging has become as commonplace as breathing. It involves speaking highly of the self, and since we have inflated egos and dare not part with our sense of self-importance, it is only natural that we brag. It is a part of our nature – people often do it without realizing they are doing it. But the most malicious kind of braggart is the person who is so motivated to assert his/her own dominance that they forget logic, and very often even common sense!
If you have such fools around you, here’s a list that will help you decode what they are really saying when they brag:
1. What they are bragging about: I do NOT follow the herd. I want to be different.
Image source: Giphy
What they are actually saying: I’ve heard everyone pick this up as the IT-thing to say and so, I am repeating it as an apt pretext to hide my lack.
Suggested read: What girls mean when they say they just want a nice guy…
2. What they are bragging about: I can drink more than all of you!
Image source: Giphy
What they are actually saying: I am just trying to get everyone drunk faster. I have a low self esteem and I can’t handle parties.
3. What they are bragging about: I don’t even remember the last girl I slept with.
What they are actually saying: I don’t remember her because she doesn’t exist.
4. What they are bragging about: I can go on for hours in bed.
Image source: imgur
What they are actually saying: I didn’t specify what. I meant sleep. The maximum I can last for sex is the a few ticks of the minute hand.
5. What they are bragging about: I just topped my class!
Image source: teen
What they are actually saying: I have no social life and the only relationship I have is with the library assistant who lets me borrow 5 books instead of 4.
6. What they are bragging about: I am so glad I broke up with my ex. I have so much freedom now!
What they are actually saying: I cry myself to sleep because my pillows smell of her shampoo.
7. What they are bragging about: I have a cousin who got into Princeton!
Image source: Giphy
What they are actually saying: I really wish I was as smart as him. No one in my family loves me as much.
8. What they are bragging about: I got so wasted last night!
Image source: Tumblr
What they are actually saying: I have a low alcohol tolerance and I only have funny stories when I am drunk. Actually, what I am about to say isn’t even true. I made it up.
9. What they are bragging about: I don’t really care about what my parents say,
Image source: Giphy
What they are actually saying: I am an over entitled child who has no respect for the people who love me the most. I try to act cool by saying all this but I am actually acting out of being a mommy’s boy throughout my childhood.
10. What they are bragging about: I have a PS4, an Xbox and a gaming PC.
Image source: gifbin
What they are actually saying: I have never seen the light of day. I might be obese. I don’t know what air smells like. Also the only woman I know is the maid who fries my chicken nuggets.
11. What they are bragging about: I hate reading! I haven’t read a book in years!
What they are actually saying: I have the attention span of a teaspoon. I hate concentrating on things. Oh look! A squirrel.
12. What they are bragging about: I haven’t slept in the last 2 days!
Image source: gifday
What they are actually saying: I like procrastinating on the internet a lot.
13. What they are bragging about: I heard that band first – now, everyone is a fan!
Image source: Giphy
What they are actually saying: I am actually a pretentious loser who uses condescension as a weapon.
14. What they are bragging about: I don’t even watch TV!
What they are actually saying: I am too lazy to actually get myself to watch TV. So I illegally download all the programs on TV.
15. What they are bragging about: I have a huge tolerance for alcohol!
Image source: Giphy
What they are actually saying: I spend inordinate amounts of money trying to get drunk.
16. What they are bragging about: I have had so many hookups that I don’t even remember the last one.
Image source: gurl
What they are actually saying: I may/may not have herpes.
Suggested read: Top 50 things men say when they are caught cheating
17. What they are bragging about: I can have the spiciest food without blinking twice.
What they are actually saying: I look really ugly when I am sweating.
18. What they are bragging about: I haven’t ever been on public transport!
Image source: bp
What they are actually saying: I am a spoilt brat.
You can catch all the braggarts red handed now, because you are armed! 😉
Featured image source: ivyexec
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