“Caring, sharing, holding on and letting go; needing, being needed and the patient ways of a listening heart. Loving you has taught me how precious love is, and many things I might have never known and cannot list.” –Anonymous.
Don’t we all look for that person, the one with whom we could traverse life’s journey together? A friend of mine shared this thought about love on my 10th standard memo book. And since then I had always wanted to be able to tell this to someone special in my life. Most of us girls want a fairytale love story and, no matter how impractical it may seem, secretly we all yearn for a Prince Charming in our lives who would promise to (if not in practice) bring us the moon and the stars. So, you meet someone and it clicks. You meet and meet a little more often and start imagining being together forever. It all seems rosy in the beginning when you look at him and think- he’s the one! But does he also feel the same for you? Is your commitment mutual or just a fragment of your imagination? What if you suddenly start feeling he’s not that much into you? What if you realize you guys have lost the connection? Your insecurities get the best of you and you wonder day and night whether he loves you or not.
Suggested read: 10 brutal truths about loving a commitment phobe
Are you in such a dilemma? You don’t know how you should approach the chaos in your head? Are you struggling between deciding if you should hold on any longer or just move away? You are probably not fully sure if this is the right time to ask these questions because you fear it might ruin your relationship. You might feel that such a confrontation may drown your dream of a happy ending. So, what do you do now? Instead of taking a huge leap forward, find the answers in these 12 sure signs. The presence of any of these, are signs he doesn’t like you and it’s probably time you deal with your doubts face to face.
1. Doesn’t return your texts or calls
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So, it’s been three hours and you are still waiting for his reply to your text. He hasn’t even bothered to return your call from last evening. You have cancelled numerous plans because of his behavior and, not to mention, a lot of other potential plans that you had on your mind. If this has become routine, then this is one of the signs he doesn’t like you.
2. He is always in a hurry
Whether it’s a dinner date or a catch up in the day time, he always seems to be in a hurry. He doesn’t even wait for the end credits to finish while you are in a movie. And you have no clue where he is going! Maybe work, family or friends but I would say he is just trying to limit spending time with you.
3. Never compliments you
You wore a new dress, he did not even notice. You took two hours to work that fashionable hairstyle, he hardly passed his gaze. You took extra care to draw your eyeliner, even today, he doesn’t even care! If he hardly ever compliments you, for the way you look or the effort you put to dress up for him, he doesn’t look like he is interested in you, lady.
4. Talks about his past and other women in his life
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He pretty much dwells on his past and takes pleasure in narrating romantic encounters with his exes. He talks about their qualities, why he loved them and even goes into a trance while he does that. He talks about the women in his current life with a lot of affection which keeps you wondering about his relationship with them. If you are still listening to these, you are only wasting your time with this particular gentleman.
5. Never gets your flirty cues
You keep dropping cues about what gets you high and what turns you on. He never catches them. Despite how often you do them, he still doesn’t have a clue. Maybe he doesn’t want to get them because in reality he is not at all interested. If you continue doing this, you will only end up making a fool out of yourself.
6. Fake smiles a lot and agrees with everything you say
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He smiles so much now that you wonder if that is how much he smiled when you had first met him. This is because most of all those smiles are fake. He never argues with you or questions you, nor even reasons with you. If you do not want to see any more of this drama, I suggest you do not see him anymore.
Suggested read: 10 surefire signs you have an irrational fear of commitment
7. Doesn’t mind you going out with anyone else
You just told him that a cute guy from your office has asked you out. Of course, you made it up to make him jealous but instead he was cool about it. If that trick didn’t work, things between you also aren’t going to work.
8. Meddles with his gadgets while talking to you
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Yes, most men are in love with their gadgets, but when they’re in conversation with someone they are genuinely interested in, they won’t do it at all. This shows that they are not paying attention to all the wonderful things that you have been talking. Other than in emergencies, I believe any other message and email or social media updates can wait while you are spending time with your special someone.
9. Talks about himself a lot
He relentlessly talks about himself. His job, his friends, his hobbies, his family – it’s about him every single time! You probably know the name of his colleague’s sister’s son by now but he probably doesn’t even remember the name of the company you work for. Other than being very selfish, this is also one of the signs a guy doesn’t like you.
10. Plans for group hangouts instead of alone time with you
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All your dreams of getting cozy over the weekend were lost in a minute when he asked you to join him on a hiking trip with his friends! Last weekend you also spent having dinner with him and his school buddies, and he’ll probably come up with something similar the following weekend. If this has been happening for a while, then my friend, you are friend-zoned and you can stop thinking about taking this further.
11. Doesn’t remember things you like and dislike
Yes, he brought you to the lousy restaurant where they serve horrible fish. Again. And then he got you orchids, happily forgetting that you are allergic to them. Either he is extremely forgetful, plain dumb or more obviously, not ready to put an effort into this relationship. He doesn’t like you enough to care to remember your likes and dislikes and this is an ultimatum. You should end this now because this is one of the major signs he doesn’t like you.
12. Avoids topics about love, commitment, or marriage with you
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He could be one of those people who are scared by words like love, commitment, or marriage. But, if it looks like he was comfortably committed with someone in the past but avoids such topics with you, then he doesn’t think of you as a partner. If this is how it’s been then, what are you thinking dating this guy? This is one of the sure signs he doesn’t like you. So, wake up and move on!
Suggested read: Top 8 reasons why men have historically spurned commitment
Life does not always turn out as we plan. More often than not, we don’t get the things that we want and, in doing so, we sometimes forget to appreciate the things that we do have. We lose some and we gain some and things don’t always go right. But, don’t hold yourself back from expressing yourself when that happens. If by now you are sure of the fact that he doesn’t like you, go ask him the questions lurking in your head. I was once with such a person who was a paradox himself. I drained my mind in trying to find out if he really wants to be with me. In the beginning, I felt a connection with him and started falling for him – hook, line, and sinker. I really wanted it to work. I cried myself to sleep thinking about him, and on the other nights, I kept awake thinking if I should still hope or sever all ties. It took time to find the signs that he doesn’t like me, before I finally ended it. I realized, some things are just not meant to be and the sooner one figures it out, the better.
Love is not easy but it is not that difficult to find it either! Look around and you will find that there are many reasons in your life to be happy. Love is a beautiful thing, but it’s not the only thing in life. It is one thing among many others that completes the picture. If something with someone didn’t work out, let it go. There is no point brooding over the past or trying to put too much effort into something that has no future. Life, obviously, has better plans (read: better guys!) for you and it’s time you employ your energy into something more productive. Things will eventually fall into place and when you look back, you will only laugh at your silly choices in life. Surround yourself with positive people and life will be so much better!
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