One major problem with modern relationships is that people have the bad tendency to advertise every single gory detail about their relationship to everyone who is willing to listen. It’s true that getting into a relationship is super exciting, and so are all of the physical perks that come along with it. However, for those of you who have a bad tendency to kiss and tell, I have news for you: that is not cool.
You may think I’m being harsh. Perhaps I am jealous of your romantic escapades. Regardless of my personal feelings toward your relationship, it is widely accepted that you should never kiss and tell. Don’t believe me? Here are 8 reasons that will convince you.
1. They don’t care
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One of the most compelling reasons why you must refrain from bragging about your love life to your friends is because they don’t care. They don’t care about whether you went down on your partner, or any other exciting detail that you may have lived through. At that point, it is borderline voyeurism. Sure, people are always excited to hear if you lose your virginity or if you have a new partner, but in the long run, you have to understand that everyone is the same when it comes to these things. At some point, they just stop caring about your stories. It is in the interest of humanity that I would ask you to stop giving out gory details of your sexcapades.
2. Your partner may not like it
The reason your sex life is so intimate and sacred is because you are ideally supposed to keep it private. Even if you don’t mind all the gossip, your partner might. After all, you can’t have sex with yourself, so you always have to think about what the other person might feel about you sharing your intimate stories with people they might not be familiar with. You have to learn to respect their opinion as well. If you kiss and tell, it might lead to a lot of fighting, misunderstandings, and even a potential breakup. Going around telling people about your bedroom adventures is just not worth it.
3. Society will judge the daylights out of you…
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…on so many levels. If you had sex for the first time, they will judge you for your age. If you had sex before marriage, they will judge you for your unchaste behavior. If you had sex with a stranger on a one night stand, the judgment will go through the roof. If you are at fault in no other possible way for having sex, they will judge you because you came and bragged about it. The world can be a cruel place, and it is best if you don’t give fuel to the fire.
4. If things don’t work out, everything will become awkward
Suppose you have sex with your partner, whom you love very much, and you think it is completely okay because you love each other. This is perfectly acceptable. What is not acceptable is you going around telling everyone that you had sex with your partner, and then things don’t go as planned and you breakup. Breaking up with people, and getting together with someone else is completely natural. However, if you are in the habit of kissing and telling, then you are in for some trouble. You can have sex with as many people as you want because that is your business. If you keep changing partners and keep telling everyone about your different sexual encounters, that is when you start regretting the decisions that you have taken.
Suggested read: 20 best love tips to keep your relationship healthy
5. You will lose your air of mystery
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One of the best feelings is when people are super curious to know what is going on with you. Everyone knows one of those super-enigmatic couples who are all hush hush about their private lives. However, if you are one to kiss and tell, everyone will know what you have been up to and there will be no mystery or curiosity surrounding you. People might start getting bored of everything that you have to say. When you come up to them to tell them your latest progress in terms of your relationships, you will not get the reaction that you expected because they already know everything there is to know. Where is the thrill and the charm in that?
6. Having sex is not a big deal anymore
People have come to terms with the fact that this is 2015, and they don’t think that having sex is a huge deal anymore. In fact, people are more progressive than ever, and when you tell people that you have had sex they will barely blink an eye. Having sex is a special experience for you and your partner, but shouldn’t matter to anyone else. It becomes diluted and perverse the minute you start advertising it. It is okay to keep the information between yourself and your partner, or at the max you can share it with your closest friends and family.
7. Word spreads like fire in a world of social networking
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I cannot stress the effects of digital communication enough. Everything has changed because of the easy accessibility of information allowed by the use of cell phones and computers. Because communication has become more impersonal, people are less hesitant to spread virtual rumors because they have no moral obligation to a specific person. You might tell your pals at the bar all about the details of how you slept with someone, but the story can spread like wildfire with the help of technology. This is the unpredictable part for people who kiss and tell, and let’s be honest, it never ends nicely.
8. It is a horrible way of building your self-esteem
If I were to speak very practically, the whole concept of kiss and tell is nothing more than bragging. You managed to get into someone’s pants or you finally lost your virginity after years of dreaming about it, and you simply have to tell the whole world about it. Bad idea. This is one of the worst ways in which you can boost your self-esteem. That is exactly what you are trying to do when you go around announcing to everyone that you had sex. If you think this is going to boost your self-esteem, then you are dead wrong because it is only going to lay the foundation for a rude shock or terrible rumors being spread about you. As I mentioned before, the world is not as good a place as you think it is.
Thus, the best option is to keep your private life, well, private. The benefits of keeping quiet, as enumerated above, are plenty. If you are bothered by your over-excited friends to divulge the details of your sex life, then a simple yes or no to their persistent questions should suffice. In fact, preserving that mysterious air about you is going to give you more satisfaction than giving them a blow by blow account of how you have been doing the dirty.
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