Being in a relationship is great, but if it’s for the right reasons. However, there may come a point in your relationship where you realize that you’re staying not because of love, but for other, totally unrelated reasons. You may try to delude yourself that it’s actually love that’s making you stay in it, but when you take a long, hard look at it, you’ll realize that you left love far behind, and that you’re stuck in the relationship. When this realization occurs, you may want to leave, but it’s not love for your partner that’s holding you back, but other reasons.
Being in love with the wrong person for the wrong reasons can put you in this situation. You might think it’s too late to do anything about, but it’s not. It’s never too late to move on and start afresh with someone who can give you exactly what you need. If you do this, you won’t feel trapped in a situation that is essentially unfair to both of you. Do not think you’re doing the other person a favor by staying when you feel this way, because it only builds dissatisfaction and resentment, which have the potential to decimate your relationship.
Suggested read: 10 simple secrets of staying in love with your partner forever
Even though this is a less than ideal situation to be in, sometimes you can’t help but realize that you’re in love with the wrong person, for all the wrong reasons. However, once you make this realization, hopefully, you’ll be able to move on and find what you truly desire.
You could be in love with the wrong person for any of the following reasons:
1. They are very attractive.
Image source: Shutterstock
As we all know, physical attractiveness is one of the main things that you notice about a person. It is but a small portion of what makes up a person’s characteristics. But if you’re still hung up on their physical attractiveness and are blinded to their other possible negative traits, then you’re in love with the wrong person for the wrong reason. Their outward appearance could be masking their emotional unavailability or their immaturity, or even their abusive nature. The longer you stay with such a person, the more you’ll get used to their attractive looks, which will then help you see them in an objective manner.
2. They make you laugh.
A sense of humor is a very attractive quality in a potential partner. But if you’re staying with a person just because they make you laugh, even if they’re totally wrong for you in every other way, then that’s just wrong. True, that a sense of humor and taking life in a lighter vein, but if that’s the only thing why you’re staying with this person, then it’s not really fair to either of you.
3. They share a lot of history with you.
The simple fact that you and your partner share a lot of history with each other (think Ross and Rachel of FRIENDS), isn’t a valid reason to stay with them, when you know you can’t make each other happy. What’s the use of all that history when it can’t make either of you happy? How is that love?
Suggested read: 13 compelling reasons you might be bored in your relationship
4. They live with you.
Image source: Shutterstock
Living with someone isn’t to be taken lightly. It creates a unique bond that can make quite an impact on you. When you live with someone, you get really close to them, get comfortable with each other, and share a unique ambiance where you live. However, just because you’re comfortable living with someone, isn’t a valid reason for you to stay in love with the wrong person, is it?
5. They are your emotional crutch.
You may have mommy or daddy issues, and you’re using this person as an emotional crutch, a way to fill the void in you. You may be attracted to this person because they treat you the same way as your parent(s) did, and you think you deserve to be treated the same way by your partner too. This happens because you might unconsciously be looking for a way to resolve your emotional issues, in an indirect manner, while the real issues are left untouched.
6. They were there when you went through a major life event.
It could be an illness, or a major personal loss, or even something like buying an apartment together. Going through such a life event with a person creates a unique bonding experience, that can keep you in love with them for longer, even if they’re totally wrong for you. Just because you experienced a major life event, doesn’t mean you have to stick together when you know you don’t work as a couple.
7. They are wealthy.
Image source: Shutterstock
Money, despite not being able to buy happiness or love, is a strong motivator for someone to stay in a relationship, a wrong one too. Money, in all its glory, stands for success, power – in some capacity, the ability to experience nice things, a higher societal status, and a high degree of comfort. These comforts that money brings with it can be blinding you to the fact that you’re not in a healthy, mature relationship. The best way to know if you’re staying with your partner is for love or money, is to try to imagine if you’d stay with them if all the money is gone.
8. They are extremely nice.
Your partner is the epitome of nice, kindhearted, and good, to the point that you just can’t bear to break their heart by leaving them. Yes, they might the nicest person you know, but they don’t deserve to be stuck in a bad relationship with the wrong person for the rest of their life, when you know you don’t make each other happy. No matter how kind they are, they deserve your honesty and love, not your kindness, which alone can NEVER sustain a healthy relationship.
9. They share many interests and passions with you.
You may think that because you both have a lot in common with each other, that it’ll be worth it to stick around. You might like the same movies, laugh at the same gags on the various TV shows you watch, or groove to the same kind of music, but this isn’t enough to keep you together, and it shouldn’t be either. A healthy, stable, mature relationship has many more things other than just sharing common interests.
If you find yourself identifying with any or all of these reasons listed above, then I’m afraid you’re in love with the wrong person, for all the wrong reasons. It’s not too late to acknowledge this to yourself and move on. In fact, it’s NEVER too late to find happiness. So look deep inside for the truth, listen carefully to what your heart is telling you, and you’ll know what to do.
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License