Being a woman in a man’s world is far from easy not because we are any less capable but because men often like to believe that they are the masters of the universe. Sounds sexist doesn’t it? This is exactly the thing I want to avoid. Here, I am going to talk about some of the everyday sexism which women are subjected to and why it is such a shame.
I dream of living in a world where women and men can be at par. No, I don’t dream of a world ruled by women because if it so happens, we will make the same mistakes which men do. But unfortunately, not all dreams are meant to be lived, and all too often, we face troubles as women, constantly being shamed for the mistakes we never did.
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The pitiable part is that, sometimes, these casually sexist remarks which hurt our hearts come from the ones we love. They say it out loud, blithely unaware of how crudely these little words prick our hearts. It takes every bit of strength to put up that fake smile and restrain from lashing out at the sexist remarks.
Suggested read: Why the world needs to accept women with beauty AND brains
Let us see 10 of the most common everyday sexism remarks which most women tend to face every day, which have become so commonplace, that women have taken it in their stride. But it shouldn’t be so.
1. ‘Are you sure you can do it?’
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How many times have you thought of trying to do something different only to hear your boss doubt if you can do it? Dear bosses, we want you to know that our gender has nothing to do with what we are capable of. Do you even know the kind of strength a woman needs when she pushes a baby out? You still wonder if we ‘can’ do it? Trust me, we can do a lot more stuff in the blink of an eye, only if you would choose to sit quiet and watch us break your preconceived notions!
2. ‘What a nice a$$!’
Commenting on the curve of a girl’s behind doesn’t make you a cool bad*ss; it simply makes you a jerk. Girls have to listen to all kinds of remarks, from how deep their cleavage is to how luscious their lips are; the perfect b*tt and what not. Yes, we love the occasional odd compliments, but no, we are not objects meant to be tagged. We do not appreciate when we find perverts gaping at our necklines just as we don’t go and check how terribly low your pants sag on your hip. Grow up boys. Thank God for those few good gentlemen who still know how to compliment a woman!
3. ‘You’re not married yet? 30s won’t last long either.’
Seriously? @#! This baffles me the most. How does it even matter whether I am in my 30s or 40s or even on the other side of 50s? If I want to be married, I am well equipped to find a guy for myself. Maybe, marriage isn’t a priority for me. Why don’t you comment on your colleague’s infidelity that makes you wonder if marriages work at all? Girls are tired of being questioned for their inability to find a guy or indifference to settle down. If you have been around for a while, you would know that, there aren’t many good boys around. Finding ‘the one’ takes a while or happens when you’re not looking for it, either way, it takes its due course (But ladies, I assure you, your significant other is out there somewhere, you just need to keep a look out for love, honey! That is, if that’s what you want out of life.)
4. ‘Gross! That was so unladylike!’
Really? How do ladies behave? Do they need to be dolled up all the time, or wait, should they be tightlipped and nod in approval to every freaking thing you share? Sorry to break this to you, but this isn’t called being unladylike. In fact, there is no such thing as unladylike, but calling a lady something like this is surely unmanly of you. A girl can behave the way she wants to. Stop tying her up in stereotypes on the ways she must behave and the ways she shouldn’t. This isn’t going to help your case and you will end up losing the respect she has for you. This is one of the most common everyday casual sexism remarks women are tired of hearing.
5. ‘You should take it easy; don’t be so uptight.’
Beware of such men who make these nasty remarks. Ask them what makes them think that you should be easygoing? What is wrong with being strong and holding your ground for what you think is right? Agreed that everyone needs to have fun now and then. But just because a woman holds on to her principles and argues passionately, she’s asked whether she has PMS. How sexist is that? It is men like these who tarnish the image of the entire male species. Not all men are alike, but it becomes tiresome when guys just assume that a girl is going to be submissive and agree to everything. You need to know that being easygoing – all the time – is not a part of my job description. I will stand up for what I think is right, and I will hold on to my ideals.
Suggested read: Chinese IT firms hire cheerleaders to motivate male employees – sexist much?
6. ‘She flirts with everyone, she has no morals.’
It is perfectly alright for a guy to be a Casanova, but the moment a girl flirts casually with more than one guy, she will have all kinds of labels imposed on her from being called a sl*t to a wh*re, – to the point of being stripped of her character. While cheating on your partner is never acceptable,, this kind of bias is really baffling. Why the double standards? You should call someone names based upon what they do and not the gender they fall into. If a girl is flirting with someone, maybe she is friends with the guy. Don’t be so judgmental; cut women some slack and learn to respect her.
7. ‘You will ultimately need a guy.’
Let’s try to reason as to why women would need a guy in their life. Will he pay all the shopping bills? Will he pamper and coddle her when she makes unreasonable demands? Will he give birth to a baby? Sadly, most of these rhetorical questions will end in a ‘no,’ which makes us wonder why we really need a guy. As a rule of nature, humans crave companionship, but it doesn’t mean that we should encourage casual misogyny. You have no right to tell a woman that she will eventually need a guy. We have learnt how to care for ourselves.
8. ‘What are you wearing?’
It’s baffling to see women being judged for the clothes they wear. This isn’t the 15th century where women stayed indoors because the world was still to catch up on the glorious power of the women fraternity. We are no longer uneducated, we are building our own path in both professional and personal lives, and there’s no stopping us. So it is high time that girls are not questioned for something as trivial their clothes. You have a problem with what we wear, don’t look at us!
9. ‘Oh, it must be the hormones speaking!!’
Although men and women both have hormones to keep their bodies functioning normally, many men are very quick to blame our reactions on hormones. It makes me wonder if these men have ever done even some basic reading into how their bodies function. If they had, they wouldn’t be blaming everything a woman does on hormones alone. Any woman would be happy to give you some lessons in elementary biology which will clear all these doubts. Yes, we can get emotional, and pregnant women have a burst of hormones and not to mention our once in a month cycle. True, we are a lot more expressive with our feelings, but none of it gives you the power to hold that against us in everything that we do or say.
10. ‘It is a man’s world.’
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Thanks so much for the reminder; but wipe away women and let us see where men come from! At the risk of sounding a complete sexist, I want every guy who comes up with such horribly blatant sexist remarks to understand human biology and reproduction. If it is a man’s world, you still need a woman to give birth to every man. Men and women have always co-existed together and we need each other to have a balanced yin and yang. So, isn’t it just easy for both genders to just end the casual sexism and adopt a live and let live policy?
Suggested read: Why I’m not a feminist, and why that doesn’t make me a sexist or a misogynist
Is everyday sexism something that you battle with on a daily basis? How often do you face such remarks? What are your views on feminism and sexism? Hit me up in the comments below!
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