Everyone has different sex drives, and if yours doesn’t match with your spouse’s, then that’s a problem. Of course, there are ways in which this can be resolved and a compromise to be arrived at. But creating a spreadsheet that documents all the times your spouse spurned your intimate advances, along with the reasons they gave you for doing so, is NOT the way to do it.
However, one unnamed man thought that was the way to go about addressing the lack of physical intimacy in their marriage, and sent this said spreadsheet to his wife!
Image source: Reddit
It seems like he had a lot of time on his hands, for obvious reasons! The spreadsheet has three columns, which is spread over a period of six weeks, from June 3rd to July 16th. Column A lists all the dates where he initiated sex with his wife, column B lists his wife’s responses, and column C lists the wife’s supposed verbatim excuses for spurning his sexual advances. Over the course of this six weeks, apparently the wife has consented to have sex with him just thrice.
The spreadsheet was put up on Reddit by someone claiming to be the wife, and possessing the username throwwwwaway29, sharing it with the /r/relationships community. She wrote: “My husband [M26] sent me [F26] an immature, inflammatory email as I was driving to the airport for a 10-day work trip. Now he has cut contact.”
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She went on to explain it, saying, “Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He’s never done this; we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it’s a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won’t miss me for the 10 days I’m gone.”
Obviously, the Reddit being Reddit, the post saw hundreds of comments from other users. While some sided with the wife, others sided with the husband.
One Reddit commenter, Banelingz, wrote, “The email is that of a man who is equally desperate and angry. A man who encountered so much unaknowledged rejections that he needs to count them. Let’s put it this way, he started documenting sex attempts 7 weeks ago. When do you think the sex actually ‘tapered off’? I’m guessing several months before that. I really don’t believe [this] was as out of the blue as OP would like us [to] believe. (sic)”
Another user wrote, “[I]f someone refused to have sex with me over & over & over again despite my repeated attempts, culminating in them only agreeing to it 3 times in 7 weeks, and they used the same excuses each time, excuses which could be easily remedied, it would make me feel like they didn’t want me anywhere near them. (sic)”
Some others pointed to the obvious communication issues within the relationship, which the couple needs to work through. But creating a spreadsheet and keeping score isn’t the answer.
What do you think of this dude’s approach to his wife spurning his sexual advances? What would you have done had you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Featured image source: Shutterstock