“Then one foggy Christmas eve, Santa came to say…”
Christmas shopping can be a nightmare for the 7.4 billion of us who don’t start making lists until the last week of Christmas or even after that! We may know somebody inside out, love them, care for them, but as soon as we have to think of a present, we could be Jon Snow and they could be our text books, ‘cause you know nothing. It’s that time of the year when we start believing that love does not need to be expressed in material gifts, and togetherness is the real essence of Christmas. But the truth is, you’ve spent all your money on the Christmas tree decorations and you forgot about the Christmas gifts! We’ve prepared an A-Z Christmas gift guide because we don’t want you to end up being uninvited from all the parties in your life.
A: A Heart Full Of Love
This is the cheapest of all the presents on this list. It screams affection, and is definitely a very unique present. However, here’s a fair warning, this might lead you slightly into the #foreveralone zone (‘slightly’ being the key word here), and into your future texts to BFFs being seenzone-ed for life, unless of course you’re thinking of gifting an actual heart in an icebox. If your friend is Dexter, you’d probably stand some chance.
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"…jazz music and Dostoevsky and Kafka and Raymond Chandler. That was my own world, my fantasyland. I could go to St. Petersburg or West Hollywood if I wanted. That’s the power of the novel—you can go anywhere. Now it’s easy to go to the States—everyone can go anywhere in the world—but in the 1960s it was almost impossible. So I just read and listened to the music and I could go there. It was a kind of state of mind, like a dream." – #harukimurakami
They’re the best go-to presents for absolutely any occasion. All festivals signify, without fail, high discounts on online shopping sites. Amazon.com has discount sections for books (upto 50% off), and if you’re a Prime member, they have it at your doorstep by the very next day, in which case you can pretend you were responsible enough to buy all your presents on time. Facebook has a page for Broke Bibliophiles too. It’s a closed group where they post regular updates on unbelievable discounts on specific bestsellers.
C: Cards Against Humanity
Their tag line is “…is a party game for horrible people”. Sometimes, you need to accept that we’re not saints (at all), and that’s absolutely fine. Satan was always the more interesting character, and there’s never been any interesting conjecture on God. This card game brings you peace because it says things hidden in the recesses of your minds. Since you’ve been “good” all year, indulge in “naughty”. Don’t worry, Santa isn’t watching, coz it’s past Christmas!
D: Dunkin’ Donuts
There is no greater gift than food. They could ask me if I needed oxygen or food, and I’d use my last breath to finish the burger.
Get an assortment of donuts, and watch your friend as their 2017 resolution of a “rigorous diet” fades away. After all, what is friendship about if you don’t pull them over to the dark side with you? 😉
It’s something everybody has, and it’s something they lose most frequently. I’ve gifted several people earphones only to be greeted by, “HOW DID YOU KNOW I LOST MINE? YOU HAVEN’T TOLD MY MOTHER, RIGHT?” The best part about earphones today, though, is the innovation. Amazon.com has a wide assortment of earphones that come with a zipper. You can zip them up like your jacket, once you’re done, and unzip them to use again. Also, with two-in-one editions of earphones, you no longer have to fight with your friend to listen to music.
F: Fox Stationary
For those of you who define their existence with a pun, these will scream ‘homecoming’. Especially for a horrific year like 2016, these “Go Fox Yourself”, and “I Don’t Give A Fox” designer products will capture the very essence of your soul.
G: Glow In The Dark Products
There are a ridiculous number of products that have been upgraded with glow-in-the-dark editions. Seriously, who looks at their nails and wonders, “I wish there was a way I could wake up at 3am, in pitch darkness, and still see my nails.” It’s also ridiculous how fast they sell and how beautiful they are. There are GITD nail polishes, clothing, accessories, wall stickers (landscapes, galaxies, cartoons, what have you), and they’re all a must-have!
H: Horcrux Lockets
Here comes the cheesy bit. You could buy one for your significant other, and write a note on the parcel that reads: “I’m giving my life to you”. If they’re a Harry Potter maniac, you’ll get the #partnergoals award, but if they’re not they’ll probably slap your head with a book. It’s just a chance you’ve got to take. Also, if you have a sibling, you could give it to them saying, “This has your life in it. I have a similar one with myself. If you ever dare disobey me, I’ll crush it.” (I am a horrible older sister. I agree.)
I: Icicles Glass Massager
This is the fanciest thing I’ve seen in the market. It looks like a tendril that has jelly beans on it, and has walked straight out of a fantasy. But if market value is anything to go by, I’ve heard its comfort is fantastical too! This is the best gift for whoever does the chores in your house, or any house for that matter. If you buy this for your mother, chances are she’ll say, “You can just get off your lazy behind, and help me, instead.” But since we all know how that’s going to end, the massager is your best bet.
J: Jazz Music
What says you care better than a mixtape? (Several things.) Choose the best jazz numbers, and always rely on popular vote. That’s what the internet is for. I’ve received horrible mixtapes for the best bands, which my friends had evidently not listened to, and had compiled the first songs that showed up on their feed. Trust me, the person you’re giving this to WILL think about it, so you might as well use iTunes the way it was meant- to read music ratings.
K: Koala-Print Pajamas
If cuteness had a visual definition, this would be it. These pajamas promise the kind of happiness you’d need in the face of an apocalypse- enormous. They’re also very comfortable, and ensure that you can use Snapchat filter-free since you are the filter yourself.
L: Lego Sets
They never go out of style. I visit bookstores that still make Lego figurines of favorite characters. The best part about Lego as an adult, is, it serves as molding clay that is already hardened and needs no mess. You can make anything out of it: A toy, a key holder, a pen stand, a table, anything you could possibly think of.
Suggested read: 12 distinct gifts you can get your mom, just because!
M: M.A.D DIY
M.A.D (Music, Art, Dance) was an art-show that aired on Pogo years ago. Years later, the host, Rob, has a YouTube channel named “Mad Stuff With Rob”, where he makes tutorial videos on the world’s best DIY art. Batman lamps, Darth Vader posters with a glowing light saber, prints on shoes, customizing wrapping papers, and more, Rob’s brain leads you through it all. This is a unique and cheap gift idea that only requires your own labor.
N: Nap Pack
This is my favorite part of the Christmas gift guide. A Nap Pack is a bundle of things that you think would help one to sleep. A comfy pillow, marshmallows, eye patches, rubber hair ties, cartoon sheets, calming music compiled into a CD, absolutely anything. You throw them into a sack, tie the mouth, and you have the world’s greatest gift ready.
O: Ouija Board
“A Ouija board has letter, numbers, and other signs around its edge, to which a planchette, movable pointer, or upturned glass moves”, using symbols to communicate with the spirits around you. Before you tell me you’re aghast at the suggestion, let me remind you that Christmas is about sharing and inclusivity. It’s their Christmas too. It’s your time to greet them and say, “I know you haven’t had cake in 50 years, so, here. Have some. Oh wait… right! You don’t have hands. My bad.”
P.S: Look behind you.
Pendants too, can be customized in today’s market (yes, capitalism IS winning). There are rice-pendants, where you can carve a name/message on a grain of rice and have it inserted into the object. The material of the pendant has a magnifying effect, so the name/message appears much larger. Cool, no?
Q: Quilling Jewelry-Kit Material
What if we could fashion jewelry according to our garments, and never have to wear a mismatched pair again? Quilled jewelry looks beautiful, and you can design it yourself, just the way you want it to be.
Warning: It takes a fair amount of time to make, so start early.
R: Rings of Secret Wood
www.mysecretwood.com has introduced a line of rings that hold the world in them. You could have rainforests, the aurora borealis, sand dunes, deserts, blooming flowers, anything you want, safely designed inside a ring. The scenes are extremely realistic and the best part is that no two rings are alike. One can also order months in prior for a specially customized ring to be made for them. You’ll ditch the usual diamond and gold once you see the galaxy resting firmly on your finger.
S: Superhero Merchandise
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Do I hear screaming? I’ve seen people chancing upon an item remotely resembling anything that has to do with superheroes, and pouncing on them, forgetting that it takes money. Good news is, the Christmas season hosts a million sales all across town, and I don’t know of a person who would see a Batman t-shirt and wouldn’t swear their firstborn to you.
This is a sensitive one. I’m writing this for the ones whose heart, like mine, ache for the antique. I’ve heard stories about how difficult it is to type on them, and how your fingers need to dig hard, et all. But ever since I’ve found old typewriters on olx.com, I’ve been saving the last penny to be able to afford them. So if you have a ‘writer friend’, look for cheap deals on old typewriters, and watch the sun shine out of their face when he/she sees it.
U: Unicorn Cards
I was first introduced to this concept in Lilly Singh aka Superwoman’s vlogs. One of her fans sent her a box of Unicorn cards, with a unique unicorn on every page and a life lesson scribbled at the bottom. As I watched her read one out, each day, I realized that it’s a huge source of motivation and a brilliant moral-booster to begin the day with. You can find them here.
This is for the indecisive. If you still cannot decide what to buy them, get them a gift card or voucher from a select store. Come to think of it, I wish several ones of my relatives just gave me vouchers instead of those Playboy Bunny sweaters, and transparent t-shirts.
W: Wallet Art
If there’s something besides money that you can’t have enough of, it’s wallets. I could swear to every God there is, that when I pass by the wallet section and see Led Zeppelin, Calvin Hobbes, and Iron Man, calling out to me from wallet covers, it makes me want to cry. Rob’s YouTube Channel also has DIY projects on wallet-making, wherein you can customize their money-holder to match their personality. (Mine would just say ‘broke’.)
X: XOXO Cookie Cutters
So that every time they make cookies, they remember you (they won’t leave any for you, though, if that’s what you’re hoping). They’re also very easily available in convenience stores.
Suggested read: 20 amazing gifts you can give your boyfriend on his birthday
I was a huge fan of the manga series called ‘Super Yo-Yo’, as a child. It fascinated me that you could do so much, and fight literal battles, with something as trivial as a yo-yo. However, some refined versions of the yo-yo, can get even adults hooked (I speak from experience). So, if you’re looking to make your niece/nephew the next Yo-Yo Master, you know what to get them.
Z: Zippo Lighters
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There are things you want and wish you had, but things you’ll never buy yourself. This is why you always expect them to be gifted to you. Zippo Lighters are beautiful things, and they’re as close to the pirate/cowboy setting as you hope to get.
We hope this Christmas gift guide has saved you from severed friendships. Merry Christmas, and always remember,
“’Tis the season to be jolly!”