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11 Compelling Reasons Why You Should Not Have A Type When Dating

What’s your type? Do you like tall and dark men or prefer short and nerdy ones? Do you prefer blonde girls over brunettes? If you have already answered one of these questions, then I’m definitely judging you. Dating is not like picking a cereal. It’s not pizza or Thai. You are not supposed to pick people like that and judge them on the basis of how they look or behave.

Judging people on the basis of different characteristics, their priorities, behavior, or almost anything at all is demeaning. It doesn’t show who they are, as no one can be confined in a checklist. It simply shows how judgmental you have become while dating all the wrong kind of people. Love is the most natural thing in this world and it should happen in an effortless way. You can’t simply handpick a certain group of people and date them according to your convenience. By having a type, you might miss out on “the one”. Nothing great happens by living in your comfort zone. If you already have a “type”, then it is high-time you ditch it right away.

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If you are still having a second thought, then read on. These compelling reasons will make you believe how having a type can sabotage your dating game.

1. Your “type” might not be what you are looking for

reading romance novels #1_New_Love_Times

Image source: Pinterest

You might think you have a type, but in reality, you don’t. You have just been blinded by this common dating norm. Maybe you had quite a few failed relationships in the past that made you come up with a certain checklist. There are lots of people out there who think dating is time-consuming. To save the trouble, they either match their profiles on various dating apps or simply don’t meet those who don’t meet their type.

You should always remember that just because a person looks good on paper, it doesn’t mean that they would be good for you in reality. The moment you liberate yourself, you will realize that you only had an idea of having a type, when in reality you want so much more than that.

2. Without having a type, you will surprise yourself

If you are still looking for that blue-eyed girl who would be a Star Wars fan and will be smart, tall, and funny – chances are that you are going to wait your whole life. You are not a box. You are so much more than that! You have more than four sides, right?

The same way you can’t define everyone else into a certain type. Don’t think you are bound to be with a certain kind of person. You might end up surprising yourself by settling with someone in the most unimaginable way. Why do you want to settle for something less than you deserve?

3. It will define your dating pool


Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

If you keep asking people What’s your type? you are never going to get a second date. The more points you include in your checklist, the smaller your dating pool would get. You can’t have a list of so many things while dating. It’s not like you are programming a robot. You are not going to the grocery store to pick vegetables.

Having a type will make it harder for you to settle. You won’t be able to meet more people. If you want to date a poet, then how many poets (the good ones, of course!) are you going to meet in your city? Just think about it. It can’t be more than a hundred (if you are extremely lucky).

4. You would always be obsessed with your checklist

Instead of being with someone and living in the moment, you would always try to read between the lines. You won’t focus on spending a memorable time with someone. Instead, there would be a checklist at the back of your mind that you would be determined to fill.

Asking someone a question like “So, do you like The Beatles?” while having a drink is pretty mild. But imagine those crucial points you have in your checking.

“Where do you see yourself ten years down the lane?”

“Are you comfortable moving out of the city?”

“Did you ever think of an alternate career path?”

Asking questions like these on the first date will scare people off. Move past your obsession and start living in the moment.

5. You might be judged for having a type

woman thinking_New_Love_Times

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

The moment you’ll tell others you have a type, you would be judged. Immediately. It will let others believe that you don’t really know how to value people. Imagine someone else judging you the same way – how would that make you feel? Don’t ask anyone What’s your type?

Don’t let them know you have a type. Ideally, you should not have a type at all!

Suggested read: Why sex before marriage is not good, but a GREAT idea!

6. It will take away all the fun

Dating is all about exploring the unknown and making the most of that mess. Yes, it might scare a lot of people, but that’s the good part. It is supposed to be fun. You will miss out on the excitement and thrill we experience when we are dating someone new. What’s the fun in dating someone you already know?

7. Your type might be based on wrong ideas

woman thinking_New_Love_Times

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

It has been observed by researchers that we usually create a type in our mind by getting influenced by external agencies. You could be trying to recreate your ideal relationship or it could be something that you saw in the movies. Your idea of love can be entirely different than what you really want. Chances are that you could be into tall and dark boys because you had a thing for a celebrity or it could be your way of replacing someone else in your life.

8. It will never get you outside your comfort zone

Needless to say, you would never be able to explore the unknown and reach your limits without moving out of the comfort zone. You should date someone who would challenge you on every step of the way. They should make you accept an upcoming change in your life. You are supposed to evolve yourself and grow into a better and stronger individual. You can’t do that while sticking with a certain type. You might be happy for the rest of your life, but that is not why you should fall in love. You should be exceptional. You should be great. You should be limitless.

9. Because opposites attract


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There is a reason why this age-old term has never lost its charm. I can say from a personal experience how true this phrase is! We don’t really fall in love with our clones. We can’t. Deep within, we want to cross the line. We are always fascinated by things we don’t have. We want to know how it feels like to be on the other side. There is nothing wrong with it. In fact, this is how it is supposed to be. You should date your opposite, so that you could be each other’s strength. It will make you feel whole. You would be complete.

10. Having a type is overrated

Gone are the days when people are supposed to have a type in order to date. You are not filling your bio on a 90’s dating website anymore. Instead of looking for a type, look for personalities. Get turned on by fierce and independent women who are unafraid to fight for their rights. Acknowledge those men who are ready to show their softer side. The moment you would come up with a dating type, you will define yourself in one as well. You are more than that. You are more than just a type.

Suggested read: All the reasons why having sex on the first date is not that big a deal

11. You might miss out on a perfect person


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If you would keep looking for a perfect type, chances are that you are going to miss out on your one and only. They say all of us get a miracle in life. Though, too often we are so busy looking for the ordinary that we don’t see the miracle standing right in front of us. Instead of coming up with a checklist, why don’t you let go of your guard? Love will come into your life in the most unexpected way. It will happen when it is supposed to happen.

Instead of handpicking people from a group, just let go of it. You are not shopping for your next pair of jeans from an online store. You can’t apply all those filters here and pick the pair you like the most on the basis of its color, size, or brand. Your life is more than an online shopping store. Thankfully, you can’t choose your partner like that! And that’s the beauty of it. You are supposed to meet a few wrong people and get hurt before meeting the right one. Otherwise, how will you know they are the one for you?

If you have a type, you might settle for something you want. But that doesn’t mean it would keep you happy. What if they are not the right fit for you? Instead of settling for something ordinary, why don’t you surprise yourself? Settle for something remarkable instead!

Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Article Name
What's Your Type: 11 Reasons You Should Not Have A Type When Dating
The next time someone asks you 'what's your type,' get ready to blast off. We are giving you enough ammo.
Bhavya Kaushik

Bhavya Kaushik

A national bestselling author, Bhavya believes that too often the stories we write paint the reality we try to escape from. Bhavya believes in breaking the stereotypes and trying new things because life is too short to let it stay boring. With his love for verse, he can be found avidly blogging about life, love and everything that covers in between. He lives his life by the motto, 'I'm the story of my own journey.' "I don't write stories. I write characters."