Sex is supposed to be one of the best feelings ever but everything that is ‘supposed’ to be doesn’t happen, right? The beautiful act of the union of two souls…blah blah…
After that epic cheesy definition of something as awesome as sex, you should know that it is not always rose petals and sexy music. Most of the time, couples who are almost used to doing the dirty together engage in the most random (sometimes gross) activities because they actually do it.
Here are some of the most weird-ass things that people tend to do before they actually have sex with each other.
1. Smell checks
Image source: Reddit
Now, I haven’t specified where the smell checks take place. Actually, the smell checks apply everywhere. Couples, whether they are new at the sex game, or they are seasoned pros, tend to become super conscious about the way their surrounding smells. That might include checking whether their armpits smells like socks, or whether their bed sheet smells like old cheese. Ugh!
2. Spotting pimples
Image source: Tumblr
I mean, I know you are naked as the day you were born (at least that is the case most of the time) but the period before sex is supposed to be reserved for some hot foreplay, not pimple-spotting. However, you probably can’t help it if your partner has a pimple on their buttock and pointing it out very matter-of-factly. As long as it doesn’t not interrupt the proceedings, I am guessing! 😛
3. Talking to yourself
Image source: Fox
No, I am not implying that people generate imaginary friends right before they are about to have sex, but they do tend to give themselves the pep-talk in front of the bathroom mirror. It ranges right from, “Yes, you can do it” to practicing dirty talk. That is kind of creepy, but hey, whatever works, okay?
4. Trying to get all the clothes off
Image source: Pinterest
You might be wondering, “How is this weird?” Trust me, when you are trying to get her bra off, and it gets stuck somewhere near her collarbone and it hurts like crazy and it becomes borderline BDSM but she can’t do anything because both of you are “in the mood”? Yeah, that is some weirdness baked in the heat right there..
I mean, you have been doing it for a really long time now, what is the point of taking permission anymore?! And this is not the non-consensual kind of permission that I am talking about here. For example: “Hey, are you in the mood?” or “Is it okay if we mess around a little tonight?” This is no way to adult. Really. Really really really!
6. Checking the b*tt crack for rogue hair
Image source: Reddit
Okay, number one, EW. Number two, Ewwww. Number three, Ewwwwww. It’s just sex. It’s going to happen. Nobody’s really noticing. Okay.
7. Talk about umm…Batman
Image source: Giphy
It’s weird how the most random conversations make you horny, and you start making out pronto. It’s weird, but it’s true. Who thought talking about the National Debt would lead to something so exciting?
8. Dirty talk is AWKWARD
I know that dirty talk is supposed to be one of the most crucial parts of foreplay, but usually, it goes like this: “So baby, what do you want me to do to you?”..”Anything.” Yup. Super hot. :/
Suggested read: 7 sex moves you can use for a sexcellent week!
Despite the fact that these are some of the weirdest things that people seem to find sexy, the sex that follows seems to be as good as ever, so basically, who are we to judge?
Featured image source: Reddit