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9 surprisingly less known things about doing ‘it’ the first time

The first time is equal parts exciting and scary. But this occasion isn’t going to be all glam-sham and ‘gentle-smooth’ as the movies show. And yet, it does not mean that the  snafus should work you up and stop you from ‘doing’ it. If you believe you are ready for first time intimacy and so is your partner, do not worry about the bonking – just go ahead and ‘do’ it.

And if you aren’t convinced still, here are a few ‘facts’ about the first time that may get you ‘going’ (or ‘coming,’ umm maybe, maybe not) 😉 :

1. The first time is always the worst time

sexual dissatisfaction

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Yes, it’s true. You are nervous/eager/excited/scared/anxious/apprehensive or worse, all of these. There is no way it shall be as ‘GOOD’ as it gets later. Plus, if you are dry, you know (okay, don’t know) how painful it would be to send the ship to dock in the port! So, do not keep your expectations sky high. Instead, relax, loosen up, try to dial down the ‘worrying’ and do what comes naturally. You never know you might be surprised that this ‘surprising’ fact might not be all that accurate!

2. It will NOT go the way you planned it

When you are doing it for the first time, any plans that you’d made about it can be thrown out the window, except for birth control, of course! There shall be no specific positions that you’ve read about or even the romantic scenes you thought would come alive straight from the scenes of a Hollywood movie. If you’re a first timer, missionary is your position. And lubes – your friend. Also, there will be much in it that you’d have to figure too, which brings us to….

3. If you are both inexperienced, there’ll be a lot of ‘what now’ to figure out

couple in bed (1)

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Don’t be alarmed if he cannot figure out where to park his thing in the dark. Mis-pokes around the thighs, a little man-handling, a little guiding with hands are all too common for the first time (maybe even afterward!). It will also hurt, but the key is to ‘go slow.’ So, don’t switch to panic mode. Biology will chart its own course!

4. It’s not anything like in the movies

There just aren’t enough ways I can hammer this one home. You see Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie doing it and then cuddling to talk until the break of dawn. Aww, you say, and add that you want the same. Reality check – you shall do it, it shall not be anything like the way Brangelina did it, and you will almost immediately get off for ‘cleanup.’ And that is that! Maybe, you can cuddle after that, if at all.

5. A ‘messy’ affair

couple dissatisfied with sex

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Yes, apart from the pain that shall shoot up after the act, there will be the ‘mess’ to deal with. So guys, please do not mess this one up. If you’ve done the deed, congratulations. Now grab the condom, hold on, and pull out slowly. Spillage is the worst thing you can do now, and well, you put on the latex cap for a reason. So watch out! Also, girls, you may see spotting and that should go away. Although the pain might linger on for a few days!

6. Rhythm and cycles are not for first-timers

Rhythm comes with practice and it is something you should not get riled up about for the first time. The first time shall be an awkward sequence of motions because you are getting to know those of your partner. If you find it hard to get the motions going, slap on some songs and move to the beats. Of course, not high-powered rap, unless you want it to swirl by at supersonic speed!

7. The big O will not happen for you, girls

couple dissatisfied with sex (2)

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For that first test run, the big O is pretty much a guy thing. Yeah yeah, not fair, but life isn’t fair! So, if you experience waves of strong sensations but don’t quite get there, don’t be surprised. It will not happen. As for the guys, it may last anywhere between one and three minutes. Of course, it is a quickie for guys too, but girls, you aren’t going to get there – not the first time! So, don’t count on it!

8. Your body’s opinion may differ from your brain/heart’s

While you may have come mentally prepared for the final dive, your body may respond differently during the build-up and the actual act. You may begin to question the ‘necessity’ of it all and it is okay to feel that. Your body is ‘unaccustomed’ to sex and it shall take quite a few rounds until your body gets used to it. So, it is okay to have that mind/body clash. Also, remember that you have the right to say ‘NO’ if it becomes too much for you to take. Just because you agreed to have sex does not mean that you are obligated to go through with it.

9. Everyone is different and maybe none of the above shall apply

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Yep, don’t go back to read it twice. You read exactly what you read! So, whatever happens, if you think it is ‘normal,’ well, it most probably is! So, just forge ahead and take the plunge.

So, that is the first time sex almanac for beginners. And reading through shall surely hold you in good stead. But remember, there is absolutely no one ‘way’ for it and there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ either. So do what works for the two of you and pave your path to better, much much better sex! :-)

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Article Name
9 surprising things about first time intimacy
First time sex can be nerve-racking. But there is no one 'right' or 'wrong' way of going about it. Here are 9 surprising things about first time intimacy
Sejal Parikh

Sejal Parikh

"I'm a hurricane of words but YOU can choose the damage I do to you..."