An aspect of my relationship coaching involves working with women to help them better understand their man’s actions and behaviors in order to build stronger and meaningful communication. This is certainly a rewarding part of my work as I love to see women have more fulfilling relationships.
Yes, amazing communication and understanding one another are very important in a relationship, but a healthy sex life is critical too. The fact is, absolutely no relationship will withstand the test of time or temptation without a spicy sex life. Regular sex, along with sexual communication and sexual exploration are necessary for a long-term relationship to go the distance.
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My go-to recommendation for spicing up your sex life? Role playing in the bedroom, of course!! Role play is the act of exploring and sharing sexual fantasies with your partner and then acting them out together. Not only does it enhance your sex life, but it keeps things interesting in the bedroom, which also builds trust and communication outside of the bedroom.
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A break from the routine, planned or rushed sex, role playing in the bedroom is playtime for couples and gives both of you something to look forward to. What is more arousing than the anticipation of the weekly role play session? I bet he will wrap up his workweek much more quickly, when he knows he is going to go home to play with you!
The misconception is that couples have to get into character and take elaborate measures for role playing to fulfill their fantasies. While this is fun and great if you have the free time and energy, things don’t have to be this complicated or time consuming. You can act out your innermost desires together easily, with little effort and with just a touch of creativity and imagination. Of course, a few ideas to get your creative juices flowing are always helpful.
Before we begin, keep in mind that the more you both let yourselves go, the more uninhibited you are and the more you trust one another, the more erotic your experiences will be. So throw self-consciousness, limitations, and judgment out the window, and tell him what turns you on. Oh, but be sure you come up with a safe word or phrase just in case you are in pain or need to ‘break character.’
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Here are my top role play ideas that will keep things interesting in the bedroom.
1. Captor and captive
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Let’s start off with one of my favorite role play scenarios, the captor and captive. Of course, you can substitute any authority and subordinate arrangement. Try teacher and student, cop and criminal, or doctor and patient. Your experience will be more erotic if it is a real life fantasy of one, or even both of you.
Let me tell you my most erotic fantasies. In my early 20s, I lived across the hall from a handsome and mysterious military man in his early 30s. I am sure he was well aware that I, along with every other woman in the complex, was checking him out every chance we got. I loved to fantasize that he was holding me captive and interrogating me in a firm but erotic way. Eventually, the sexual tension gets to be too much and we would end up on the table having wild sex all night. You could try a similar scenario or add a twist and have the woman be the dominant one. I promise that either scenario will not leave you disappointed.
2. The forbidden man or woman
Certain people are just off limits, and even considering a sexual encounter with this forbidden man or woman is not open for discussion. Back in my corporate job days, I had a hardcore crush on my boss and caught myself fantasizing about getting him alone after hours to ‘ask him about a client account.’ This would be a perfect opportunity to seduce him. No way in hell was I going to act on that fantasy, but the mere thought of hooking up with the one I couldn’t have was enticing and erotic, and it made for one hell of a steamy role play scenario.
For you, it may be sex with your best friend’s boyfriend, the next door neighbor, your boss’s husband, or even the boss. Yes, they are off-limits, but there is no harm in a little naughty role play and fantasy once in a while. Oh, and for the record, after the lay-off, my former boss contacted me to confess that he had a major crush on me too! Damn! If I had only known!!
3. Escapade with a stranger
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I had always fantasized about a chance encounter with a handsome stranger at a bar and then breaking away to have wild, passionate sex. Although I thought about it and I had several opportunities to pull it off, I was always too shy and too inhibited to even think of acting on this fantasy.
That is until I started escorting. I found that many of the men that hired me wanted to meet in a public place, have a few drinks, and then let one thing lead to another. Granted that these weren’t exactly chance encounters, but as a brand new escort with limited sex partners, they may as well have been. Several of my client encounters I find myself fantasizing about even today. You and your man may want to try the escort and client role play. After all, an escort and client meeting for the first time are total strangers.
Just imagine how erotic it will be; you arrive separately to an unknown wine bar, on the other side of town. You don’t acknowledge one another, but just observe. You see women approach him. It is a huge turn on to see him flirt with other women and to know that he is watching you as you are approached by and flirt with other men. After sometime, you get a table together and let the sexual energy build over more wine, and then find a room at the closest hotel and have sex like you will never see each other again. This role play scenario is great fun but just be sure that neither of you are not the jealous type! The intent is fun, fantasy, and sexual exploration. No drama or accusations allowed!
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The above scenarios are only suggestions to get you started down the road to role play and sexual exploration, liberation and pleasure. There are endless possibilities and they are all up for grabs if you as a couple are open to new experiences and experimenting. If role playing in the bedroom is new to you, it may take a bit of practice, but remember that nothing is wrong or bad as long as both of you are having fun and connecting sexually.
Remember, practice makes perfect, so the more you step into this world of fantasy, the more erotic and fulfilling your fantasies will become. So sit down together, talk about your fantasies, create an erotic scenario, and set a role play date tomorrow. Good luck and don’t try anything I wouldn’t try, and in case you didn’t know, I will try anything at least once! 😉
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