If you thought Beyonce and the single girls who answer to her call of ‘single and awesome’ were the only breed of awesome singletons out there, oopsie! There are so many species of single girls out there that you’d be surprised why that ‘single and ready to mingle’ board you wear all the time hasn’t been kicked off yet! Or will you?
Suggested read: The types of Ms. Rights you should date
Check out the common-er species of single girls on the NLT list, and if you have met or known all, and still don that ‘single and ready to mingle’ board with pride, well… you win! 😉 😛
1. The If You Can’t Handle Me At My Worst, You Don’t Deserve Me At My Best girl
This girl deals with every situation in life with a staple ‘whatever’ reaction. And she also claims that she will do ‘whatever’ it is that she wants to do, and does this ‘whatever’ by partying for two hours, downing twelve shots of Tequila, and then, getting home to post a number of duck-faced selfies with non-related hi-fi funda captions! Guys, I think you may have bumped into her at a bar, unfollowed her on Facebook after giving a ‘whatever’ reaction to ‘whatever-the-f*ck’ she seemed to be doing! My reaction: #whatever 😛
2. The I Am Not Always Right But Am Never Wrong girl
This one is the head bi*ch in charge. She is smart, opinionated, can wear a bold lip, and rock every word that comes out of her made up mouth while making you wonder why the hell is she still single! After all, you don’t meet a girl who can make your stomach hurt with her jokes and your denims from the throbbing inside every day, do ya? Well, coz with her, you not only never get to wear the pants, you probably do not own any! #IamAlwaysRight lassie – quite a handful…<pun pun> 😉
3. The I Don’t Give A F*ck girl
This girl is circumstantially single and has gradually made that her life. Happy to be a coffee-chugging couch potato with the remote control and a mobile phone by her side to catch re-runs of The Wire and order in pizza, she is in a relationship with her sweats and gives zero f*cks about all else! #IDontCare girl!
4. The I Give One-too-many f*cks girl
At the risk of wearing her reputation as low as that dress from which her behind peeks out to say Hi, this breed of single girls will f*ck you and then, chuck you, without any qualms whatsoever. So, if you meet a girl from this club, you sure are getting lucky, albeit not for long. She’s got another number to dial the morning after! 😉
5. The What’s Wrong With Me girl
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This is the perennial lonely soul. She has been single for quite a bit but does not understand why. After all, all she’d done after 1.5 dates was to expect the guy to show up at her apartment with a life-size bouquet of her favorite flowers and shown him her bookmarked collection of pear-shaped diamond rings on the fourth date! What’s wrong with that, huh? 😛
6. The I Thought He Was The One girl
This girl has recently become single and seems distraught coz loss of boyfriend = loss of direction in life! If you are around this one, you might have to wear earplugs coz let’s admit it folks, how long can you hear ‘I don’t know what went wrong. We were perfect. Why is this happening to me? What I am going to do now?’ It gets a tad bit ‘shut the eff up’ after five hours, right? Even if she finds the #BestBoyfriendEver two days later and floods Facebook with obnoxiously cheesy posts about their forever love!!
7. The Is That Too Much To Ask girl
This girl loves Manolo Blahniks and Marquez. She shops for NARS lipsticks as well as loads her cart with Raphaelite paintings. She can show up to a bar blackout but can blow your brains away with a conversation about Plato! She has a job she loves and a life she lives on her own terms. So I guess it isn’t surprising when she asks for a caring, loving, mature, independent, smart, and sensitive guy who can give her her space but also let her know she features right at the top of his priority list. Someone who will fix her dinner, and maybe her car too! Someone who will never stop her from pursuing her dreams while relentlessly chasing his own. Someone who is compassionate and can double up as a friend, confidante, companion, guide, and teacher. Is that too much to ask for? Not if one needs to match her degree of awesome! The only REAL question is, whether such breed of guys exist? 😛
Suggested read: Thoughts every girl has when her boyfriend makes her angry
8. The I Like You… But… girl
This girl is the most dreaded of ’em all. She is the one who will keep you on the hook – always throwing hints that she will soon get you out of the friendzone and into the *feels-ville* but don’t you believe her! You might be surprised when she friendzones you after her long distance boyfriend comes back and sends all memories of that shopping spree worth two thousand dollars you indulged your soon-to-be girlfriend in, out of the window! Coz you just missed one small stipulation b*tthead… she used a ‘but!’
9. The I Am Not Over Him Yet girl
You cannot escape the EX-factor. Not even if you have managed to take her home, for you don’t want her to scream someone else’s name right in the middle of the deed – and then, cry, coz well, she isn’t over him yet! She apologizes and tells you to call her, but don’t do it, or else you might hear a Celine Dion caller tune and a ‘my-world-is-dead-but-I-will-call-when-I-hear-this’ message on the answering machine too!
Suggested read: The Types of Mr. Rights out there!
10. The I Am Saving Myself For The One girl
Coz there is a higher power one has to answer to, right? My only suggestion for this one – stay off. You can’t compete with Jesus, dude!
11. The Looking For Love On Tinder girl
This single girl will not work on her lousy communication skills or notch up her disheveled appearance – but she will surely primp up that profile pic on Tinder. For that’s how you bag husbands, right? By updating your profile and having a virtual relationship that lives as long as her Tinder profile pic. Yeah, a couple of days tops!
12. The Single and Happy girl
Now this breed might actually make you want to throw off your ‘single and ready to mingle’ cloak. And not just because they know exactly how to make you want to kick your clothes off but because they are single and love being single! They are aware of the power of loving oneself and the non-negotiable of being with someone who, too, will love them as is. And that’s not quite easy to find, is it? But they aren’t looking – it would come to them when it has to! Until then, they are giving their fates a gentle nudge for LIVING it up!
Did you win? 😛
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License