Friends or friends with benefits? Sometimes, the difference isn’t quite decipherable. Truth be told, we all get attracted to our friends. And when it comes to our best friend, we always let down our guard. Nobody doubts falling for or feels the pangs for fantasizing about a best friend. There is a sense of solace and comfort that we feel when we are with them. We know they are never going to let us down. We can trust them with all our heart. They know us inside out and there is nothing in this world that we would rather do than falling in love with them.
There is a part of us that is already in love with them. I mean, that is why they are our friends, right? There must be a reason why out of all those hundreds of people you have met in your life, you decided to make this one person your best friend. There must be something about them that already turns you on. It could be anything from their husky voice to their midnight blue eyes.
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And if we feel a certain way about them, what’s the big deal? There. I said it out loud. You know what? There is nothing wrong with it. It’s completely fine to get attracted to your best friend. Even sleeping with your best friend isn’t off limits. But you got to know where the line is. They can’t be your best friend and your booty call, both at the same time. It will just complicate things and you might end up losing the one person whom you rely on the most. Though, it also has a flip side. What if it works out?
Yes, you can live your fantasy of being with your best friend. There is nothing better in this world than having your best friend as your companion for life. But you should remind yourself that it is a road sprinkled with landmines. One wrong move and boom. It’s over. Before you enter this dangerous territory, make yourself familiar with the basic dos and don’ts of sleeping with your best friend. After all, it’s better to be safe than sorry!
1. Don’t do it if you are drunk (or curious)
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No. Just don’t do it. This is something you are going to regret the morning after. You are better than those who get drunk and sleep with their best friend. What’s the fun in that? Chances are that you not even going to remember what happened. You won’t cherish it. Instead, it would be a mistake that might ruin your friendship. Go out and have drinks with your friends, but keep sex off the table.
2. Clarify your intentions
When you are sleeping with your best friend, always be a little cautious. Things can get quite ugly. They know everything about your past and are aware of your weaknesses as well. They know your family and friends. If things get dirty, then can be your biggest enemy.
“No. Our friendship is not like that. We can never be enemies!”
Really? Have you ever seen movies like X-Men, The Dark Knight, Kill Bill, The Godfather, The Lord of the Rings, The Watchmen, Spiderman, The Prestige, and almost every other super villain movie? Our friends can sometimes become our worst enemies. Before you make your move, clear your intentions and never hurt them in the process.
3. Don’t think it’s a mistake
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How can it be a mistake?
You have spent a great time with your best friend. It should not be something you tow lifelong as a regret. If you think it’s a mistake, try to see the bigger picture. Everything happens for a reason, right? There must be a reason behind this as well. Don’t doubt your intentions and try to talk to your friend about it. If it has happened in the heat of the moment, then always have a follow-up discussion. The two of you might want to do it again (and again!). Or not. That’s the beauty of the understanding you share, right!
4. Know the consequences
You should always know about the dreadful consequences before making a move. Have a complete control on the circumstances and don’t just go with the flow. Though, before you make the move, you should always know that you can never go back. We don’t have an “undo” button in our life. Give your friend a hint and if they are ready, take a lead. You might end up being in the most fulfilling relationship of your life.
5. Don’t DTR if you are not ready
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If you still don’t know the meaning of DTR, you certainly need to watch a few more romcom movies. DTR (Define the relationship) might seem like the next big thing to do. Except that it’s not. We live in a society that is obsessed with labels. You don’t need to label your relationship.
Don’t call yourself “friends with benefits” or “f*ck buddies” – you are better than that. Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean that the two of you are a couple as well. You are just sleeping with your best friend. You don’t have to define it or make a big deal out of it.
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6. Listen to what they have to say
Before you suggest your next move, always ask your best friend. You never know – they might come up with a cool idea. And no, I’m not talking about discussing sex here. Talk to them regarding your life. You don’t have to talk about your feelings, even when you are PMSing (especially when you are PMSing). Just have a conversation about those little things in life to make the best out of the moment.
7. Don’t get emotionally involved, unless both of you truly want it
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In other words, don’t fall in love with them. It is quite natural to fall in love with your best friend, particularly after getting sexually involved with them. Don’t think about the idea of settling with them or having a beach wedding with a happily ever after marriage. Yes, you would definitely think about it and there is nothing wrong with it as well (except that beach weddings are pretty overrated). But don’t fall in love with them. You don’t know how they feel about you. What if it is nothing but sex for them? You would get terribly hurt. You would lose your friend and well, erm, if I may, amazing sex!
8. Cherish it!
Be more creative. Come up with new positions. Use props. Yes, if you are doing it, then why not make the best out of it! You have got a great chance of making your fantasies come true. Instead of thinking about it or asking yourself all those questions, let go of your guard and cherish the moment.
9. Don’t take them for granted
The moment you take them for granted, you will end up losing your best friend. Step back a little and realize that before getting intimate with them, you were their best friend. You can’t simply ignore their existence or assume that they will always be there by your side.
10. Set ground rules
This is one of the most important things to follow while sleeping with your best friend. Always come up with a list of rules that the two of you are supposed to follow. You can’t disrespect each other or consider them as your booty call. Even when you are role playing, you can’t cross the line. There is nothing wrong with spicing things a little, but not over the expense of causing a damage in your relationship.
11. Don’t let anyone know about it
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It might get a little overwhelming at times, but you can’t broadcast this news to your friends and family just like that. They just won’t get it. Also, it would be demeaning to your best friend. You are not expected to tell the whole wide world who you are sleeping with. Don’t give others a chance to discuss your relationship. It should be a private affair.
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12. Think twice before making a move
You need to understand that before anything else, they are your best friend. You certainly don’t want to ruin that. As much as the sex might lure you, if you know it is going to end disastrously, you should just stop yourself from entertaining the thought of sleeping with your best friend. No one else in this world can know your best friend better than you. Deep within, you already know how it’s going to end. Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment. Don’t be tempted by their looks (or the way they look at you with their seductive eyes).
There would be a part of you that will judge you for sleeping with your best friend. But the other half of you would make your bones dance in liaison. Don’t listen to any else. This is one thing that only you and your best friend can decide. Be whatever you want. Do whatever you want. Just make sure you don’t hurt each other during the process. Don’t take your best friend for granted and make sure you treat them the right way. Treat them the way you want yourself to be treated in a situation like this. Sex might come and go but it is their friendship that you should never let go of!
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