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10 Ways Your Romantic Ideals Alter As You Grow Older And Possibly Wiser

Ever since I was a little kid, I had always loved the idea of love. The reasons were simple – it looked so surreal and dreamy. I grew up dreaming about the perfect love story, just like the ones I read about in novels. There is a handsome prince who will fall for me and come to rescue me when I need him the most.

Despite its cliché, many of us still fall for this crappy romantic ideal. However, life has a way of setting things in perspective. As I got older, I soon found out the hard way that not everything that looks good lasts, not every guy I fall in love with shall stay, and not every love affair ends with a whiff of happy ever after.

Suggested read: Rekindling our romance – one holiday at a time

Here I am going to open my heart out and show you exactly how your perfect picture of romance gets shattered when you learn that life and love aren’t really the same thing.

1. Two broken halves make a complete whole

couple heartbreak

Image source: Dollarphotoclub

I have read way too many books about two broken people seeking solace in each other’s arms. I mean it is so terrible, isn’t it? When I was 13, I once saw a young boy crying and I pumped my fist high in the air and screamed, “Two broken halves make a perfect whole. Let us date.” Can you even imagine the kind of look he gave me? HORROR! He shrieked and ran. End of love story.

2. Shout out to our love

Okay, I still see a lot of my friends doing this. I stopped logging in to Facebook for three straight days because one of my best friends was too busy going gaga over how perfect her boyfriend was. Yes, this idea of showing the world the insides of your heart does appeal when you are young and naïve, but age has a way of showing you how pointless and annoying it can be.

3. I’ll always be there for you

couple in love

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Really? Romance has a way of making you believe that no matter what happens, love stays! I don’t want to be a cynic, but have you really been in a serious relationship? Have you seen how couples fight? I will be there for you? Well, you weren’t there for me when you were checking out Susan. These clichés make you go “awww” when you read them in books, but these romantic ideals never materialize. If you’re always gonna weep all over his Oxford shirt, he will be more than happy to catch the next bus home.

4. I’ve a thing for drama

Come on, we all wanted to have a story. There is a part of your inner heart that craves to have a story you can tell to your grandkids. The sad news is that as you grow up you tell yourself to cut it out. Drama looks good, but only inside the pages of a book or on the silver screen. Bring it in real life and you will be popping too many painkillers because hello! Is your drama going to pay my bills? Heck no! So, can we just move on and live?

5. The childhood love story

cute kids

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If you grew up reading the perfect love stories, you would have always craved to have a childhood love story. Maybe you had a crush on a boy when you were seven and you wished you two could live together till you were eighty and have some seventeen odd grandchildren. Oh dear, consider yourself blessed if it never turned true. Heck, there are so many hot hunks, why would you spend all your life crushing on one? Okay, that sounded too cynical and too anti-romantic for someone like me who practically worships romance. The idea simply is that as we grow old, we fall in love more than once. So, the childhood love story may sound sappy, but it is not really likely to work unless you both are the *chosen ones*.

Suggested read: 20 romantic gestures men make that are better than saying ‘I love you’

6. The once in a week flower gesture

man giving flowers to a woman

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Seriously, girls, I need you to help me out with this! What is it with this obsession with flowers? I blame the poets for epitomizing flowers like they are the ultimate symbol of love. Now at the risk of being judged, I would like you to know that I broke up with my ninth boyfriend in the eighth grade because he didn’t send me flowers for three consecutive weeks. Now, when I remember those days, I really ponder as to who was a bigger jerk – him or me? Regardless, I’m glad I’ve grown up—or at least my view of love has.

7. Heal my hidden scars

This one absolutely deserves to be blamed upon those poets singing the song of love. They make everything romantic from the damn scars on the wrist to the tears in the eyes. I mean do they even know how long it takes to apply that perfect mascara only to have it ruined with tears? I grew up thinking the best love story is the one where my guy would heal every hidden scar. You know what reality is? We all wear scars and most of them run deeper than what the eyes can see. Do not expect someone else to heal the scars you gave yourself. As much as you love someone, only you can heal the scars you wear.

8. Be my savoir all the bloody time


Image source: Pinterest

I have grown to detest authors who portray women as the eternal damsels in distress. Yes, Disney movie princesses were perpetually in need of a prince to rescue them, but this is not the painted singing world of Disney where every bird will sing a love song. When you grow up, you realize that you often need to sharpen your own sword and slay your own dragons. I stopped looking for hot hunks who could be my savior all the time. Love is a lot more complete when you are ready to take things in your own stride. Trust me, this is one piece of wisdom I am happy I follow.

9. Soak my tears

man comforting a woman

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Your boyfriend should be someone who helps you smile, but it is too much of you to expect him to be a sponge to soak your tears up as well. Yes, I have seen my share of romantic movies where the guy kisses the tears away, but have you ever tasted your tears? Salty! YIKES! Robert Pattinson might look oh so hot sucking blood, but this is not so in real life.

10. Write me a poem/sing me a song

Man with Guitar

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

Okay, so this is my guilty pleasure. Ever since I was a kid, I grew up with the thought that it was utterly romantic to sing someone a song or write them a poem. It was the ultimate manifestation of love. Though some people no longer see the romance in this, I would still pick a guy who would write me a poem or sing me a song in a heartbeat.

Suggested read: What true love is… NOT

Romantic ideals do change with time and, reality and fiction do not always collide! In the end, if you find someone who is willing to love you for who you are, someone who treasures you and is happy to be with you, you will be happier than most people in life. Love has the power to make life worthwhile. Go, grab that guy, and don’t do stuff that will make him wonder why he ever fell in love with you!

Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Article Name
10 Ways Your Romantic Ideals Change Over Time
Growing up, we have these romantic ideals in our head that have a way of blinding us to reality. Here's a look at how these same ideals change over time.
Shruti Fatehpuria

Shruti Fatehpuria

I am a misfit software engineer who left her work in the corporate world to pursue the insatiable quest to write. A freelance worker by the day, I choose to dream with eyes open wide. I have conversations with myself where I talk of the possibilities that life can hold. Too many wishes made on empty starless nights ensure that there are various dreams yet to be lived. I am working my way as I am on a quest to find myself. The greatest journeys are indeed the ones that lie within. I am yet to live my story because right now, the book is full of too many apostrophes and too many commas. The words are jumbled until the right one fits the puzzle. I don't believe in perfection because too many times, it is imperfection which paints the perfect story. I am verbose and I aim at living life in full swing until a speed breaker curbs the tantalizing pace with which I wish to conquer the dreams that would otherwise be too big for the not-so-tiny shoes I wear. Blessed with a lot of chubby fat, I love going the extra mile to conquer my extra dreams with an extra advice after all, we all love a little extra. A die-hard shopaholic, you can often find me laughing on serious stuff inappropriately at wrong times (unintentionally).