Let us get one thing straight first- celebs are weird. They have a whole different way of doing things which we mortals can’t even think of, and weird celebrity baby names are just one of their things. If you are as jobless as I am, then you must have closely followed the hype that was created when Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow named their child ‘Apple’ and Kim Kardashian and Kanye West named their child ‘North’. Apple Martin? North West? Is this a joke?
Well my good friends, apparently, it isn’t, because we discovered that these were relatively sane names compared to the other weird celebrity baby names that we found. Naturally, we had to share this super important information with you, and in case you were looking for some high profile inspiration for your own child’s name, then here it is.
1. Kal-El Cage
Son of: Nicolas Cage
Here are some fun facts. Nick Cage is pretty damn obsessed with comic books. In fact, Nicolas Cage isn’t even his real name. He was born Nicolas Coppola, which seems like a good enough name to me, but he was so obsessed with Luke Cage, that he changed his name to Nick Cage.
For some reason, he also named his kid Kal-El, after the character of Superman in the original comics. That is some dedication to your obsession, and we are impressed, albeit a little confused as to why he didn’t name his kid Luke.
2. Audio Science
Son of: Shannyn Sossamon
A lot of people lost their sh*t when Shannyn Sossamon and her boyfriend announced the name of their first son- Audio Science. I mean, who even names their child Audio Science? Are they okay?
Apparently, they are, because after being grilled and questions and harassed for naming her son that Shannyn responded saying that she didn’t want to give her child a name name that meant something. She wanted to call him a word, because of which her boyfriend apparently spent hours going through the dictionary. Initially, they had decided to call him science, but for fear of his name being shortened to “sci” which could easily be mistaken for Simon, they named him Audio Science instead. You do your thing, Shannyn Sossamon.
3. Pilot Inspektor
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Son of: Jason Lee
You’ve probably seen Jason Lee in a number of movies. Most people relate to him as the funny man, with a strange sense of humor. He took this public image of his a little too seriously when he decided to name his child Pilot Inspektor.
Naturally, all the headlines were about this unfortunate toddler for the first months of his life, and still continues to make it to all the coveted lists of weird celeb baby names. Apparently, his father drew inspiration from a song he heard by a band called Grandaddy and their song “Pilot” inspired him to name his son that.
4. Ode Mountain DeLorenzo Malone
Son of: Jenna Malone
You’ve seen Jenna Malone in classic movies like Step Mom and super popular franchise movies like The Hunger Games and in evergreen movies like Pride and Prejudice. Just like the passionate actress she is on screen, she is also passionate about her personal life, and in all her enthusiasm, she decided to name her son Ode Mountain.
Even though a lot of people have tried figuring out the inspiration behind his name, most were unsuccessful, and we are still unsure as to why she would choose such a weirdly specific nature name for her son, but we are all believers of each to their own.
5. Sage Moonblood Stallone
Son of: Sylvester Stallone
I mean, can you expect anything less from the star of Rocky? The kid had to have blood somewhere in his name, and we can’t think of a more badass name for the son of one of the most badass people to ever exist.
Even though most people know him as Sage Stallone, and he is also grown up and wonderful looking now, we can’t help but include this in a list of weird names celebs decided to name their kids, because it is one of the earliest and weirdest and most iconic nomenclatures ever.
Suggested read: 8 Celebrity Kids Who Are More Famous Than You Will Ever Be
6. Cricket Pearl Silverstein
Daughter of: Busy Philipps
Busy Philipps has a lot to say on why she named her second daughter “Cricket” and her first daughter “Birdie” (we thought Birdie was relatively sane compared to some of the others, so we decided to go with Cricket).
According to her, she had a tough time growing up as a child with a nickname. She wanted her nickname, i.e. Busy to be her actual name, which was unfortunately Elizabeth. She didn’t want her kids to have the same monotonous conversation about explaining the two names to everyone, so they decided to go with the nickname. Hence…cricket.
7. Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson
Daughter of: Uma Thurman
If you are wondering why we decided to put six kids at one point, we didn’t. That is one child. One unfortunate 5-year-old who probably still has trouble writing her own name in forms and in school and everywhere else. Uma Thurman was asked why she decided to give her child such a heavy name, to which she didn’t give a very detailed answer.
Her representative, however, said that each of the names given to her third child held a special meaning for her and her parents and her partner and his parents, and they will be calling her ‘Luna’ for short. What a relief!
8. Ocean, True, Autumn and Sonnet Noel Whittaker
Children of: Forest Whitaker
This time I am actually going to mention a whole bunch of kids at one point because all of Forest Whitaker’s kids deserve a mention in this list. First of all, If I was writing this articles forty years back, I would have included Forest himself on this list, because not a bunch of old kids were getting named Forest during that time.
Also, when asked about the inspiration for the name of his kids, Forest had some pretty cool things to say. Here is what he said:
I want those names to be their destiny, for my daughter to be honest and my son to be expansive. I try to be like a forest, revitalizing and constantly growing.
Now, either this man is being very profound, or very prosaic. Either way, these kids are going to have names that stand out for the rest of their lives for sure.
9. Tu Morrow
Daughter of: Rob Morrow
Do you remember the TV show called Numbers? Do you remember Rob Morrow’s character on the show? Doesn’t matter if you don’t, because what he named his child is far more interesting than what he has done.
If you have spent the last few years laughing at the genius pun that was North West’s name, then the joke’s on you, because it seems like Rob Morrow decided to name his daughter while he was highly intoxicated and frustrated with life on a Wednesday afternoon BECAUSE WE CANNOT WITH THIS PUN. Tu Morrow? Really, Rob? Shame on you.
10. Moon Unit Zappa
Daughter of: Frank Zappa
Frank Zappa is a legendary rock musician, there is no denying that, but what is the with the name of his kids? He has four children- Dweezil Zappa, Ahmet Zappa, Diva Thin Muffin Zappa and the fourth one which is our favorite- Moon Unit Zappa.
Now, we get that celebs want to name their kids after the sun the moon, seasons, nature and other wonderful natural elements, what but is with this name which reminds of me of a an astronaut stranded in space? Tell me in the comments below.
Suggested read: 15 Celebrity Adoptions That Gave Kids Better Lives
11. Jermajesty Jackson
Son of: Jermaine Jackson
Everyone remembers the iconic Jackson 5. Everyone especially remembers the King of Pop who emerged from the Jackson 5, aka, Michael Jackson (who has his own set of children with weird names, might I add). Jermaine however, decided to name his son Jermajesty, which is why this baby makes it on the list.
Everyone wants to name their son after their fathers, mother, sometimes even themselves. But Jermaine didn’t want to name his son Jermaine, but something like it instead. However, we think Jermajesty is just pushing it. I mean, compared to this, even Blanket Jackson sounds better, unless you take into account the context of course.
Apart from this list of wonderfully weird baby names, there are a number of other celebs also who decided to go batsh*t crazy when it came to naming their spawn. For example, Beyoncé and Jay-Z named their children Blue Ivy, Rumi, and Sir; Gwen Stefani’s last child is called Zuma Nesta Rock; Lucky Blue Smith had a child with wife Stormi Bree, and they named her Gravity; Toni Braxton’s child’s name is Denim and many more.
Let us know what other weird celebrity baby names have you lost sleep over, and which ones you think are good enough to give to your own babies!
Featured image source: Instagram